


venomous

by loonaloves



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, OH yeah and uh yeojin finds out about the dark web, anyway they used to be childhood friends, chaewon, chaewon's just like.., enemies to lovers AU, honestly just a really wild ride, hyejoo's a rebel/"i hate EVERYONE" kinda kid, idk just read it's hard to explain JSKSKS, ok uhhh, until they kinda like mutually backstabbed one another
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2019-06-11 05:46:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 44,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15308760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loonaloves/pseuds/loonaloves
Summary: When Hyejoo's sister, Yeojin, is abducted and taken from her family, Hyejoo finds herself willing to do anything to get her back. Even if that means teaming up with the person she hates most, Park Chaewon. But if she wanted her sister back, some boundaries are gonna have to get broken.





	1. one

"Yeojin, why are you behind the counter again.."

Hyejoo walked over to her younger sister, who was, once again, hiding behind the counter in the middle of the night. The closer she got, the more she noticed a slight illumination reflecting onto Yeojin's face. She was on her phone, intensely watching the screen.

"Yeojin, I swear if you're watching porn-"

"Shh!" Yeojin shushed loudly. "And I'm not watching porn, you idiot!" Yeojin whisper-shouts at her older sister who stood in front of her. Yeojin was sat on the ground in a robe, Hyejoo could really only hope something was under that. Her eyes had dark bags under them, sleep deprivation written all over her face.

"Go to bed," Hyejoo exhaled softly, matching Yeojin's hushed tone. "It's literally one in the morning, and this is the second time I've seen you do this..."

"I'd tell you but I'm not sure if your tiny brain could process it."

"I'm not stupid, Yeojin. You're literally, like, two years old, why are you talking."

"You said Sweden was in South America," Yeojin stared blankly up at Hyejoo, who remained unresponsive. "Basically, I think I got myself into some, uhh- trouble, to say the least."

"Goddammit, I knew you were watching- AGH!" Hyejoo reached for Yeojin's phone before getting whacked on the thigh harshly. She looked at Yeojin in offense while Yeojin showed no sign of remorse, her face still blank and longing for sleep. "Okay, that was for..?"

"Being an idiot," Yeojin stated. "As I was saying, I was basically doing some stupid shit online... ended up giving away- uh- personal information... and now, uh, I... I might just, you know... get caught?"

Hyejoo's eyebrows knitted together, meeting Yeojin's glare in confusion. "That sounds shady as fuck."

Yeojin sighed, rolling her eyes, "Of course it does. You know what- Just don't worry about it, I can deal with it on my own," Yeojin nodded her head to herself. "Not saying you'd be much help anyway," She muttered under her breath, proceeding to look back down at her phone.

Hyejoo bit the inside of her cheek, already knowing this would be an impossible battle to win. Walking away, she waved to Yeojin, "Good luck on whatever your so-called 'problem' is... I'll be upstairs." Grabbing a cup of water, what she originally came into the kitchen for, she went back upstairs and headed towards her room, but not before pausing in front of her sister's room.

_Yeojin's Room!  
NO BOYS!! OR HYEJOO_

Written in hot pink crayon, taped onto the door. She wrote that when she was in kindergarten, apparently still never had taken it down. Why couldn't Yeojin just sit in her room, why'd she have to go the extra mile and hide behind the fucking counter? Hyejoo laughed, she almost forgot, her sister _always_ went the extra mile. Mostly to steal the spotlight, which had never exactly worked, considering she was neither of their parents' favorite. It was always Haseul, of course. Hyejoo understood, though. Haseul would be her favorite too. Probably just because Yeojin is kind of annoying, especially when she steals her underwear or goes in public with her anywhere. She'd probably cut off a limb to gain some attention. Probably already tried to, actually. Nonetheless, she still loved Yeojin. Not as much as she's forced to say by her parents, but still love. She'd offer her protection from her... unexplained situation, of sorts- if she'd let her.

Maybe her problem is in the room?

Hyejoo's hand hovered over the doorknob, palm sweaty at the thought of what might be in there. The hallway was dark and almost pitch black, the only light source being the natural light from whatever came in through the window. Her water loosely held in her other hand, the glass becoming slippery. Her hand found the knob, ready to twist it, wrist about to turn-

"Hyejoo!"

To that, Hyejoo squealed and her arm flew back to her side, glass slipping out of her hand as it shattered onto the carpet, water pooling around her bare feet. "Mom," Hyejoo held a hand over her chest as if she'd had a heart attack, heaving through breaths. "Could've just... y'know... tapped my shoulder, or something?"

Her mom kneeled by her side and started picking up a few large glass shards, "What are you doing? Where's Yeojin?"

"Uhhh," Hyejoo hesitated. This would be too long of a story to explain, and, quite frankly, she didn't feel like explaining it. "I just got her water, or was supposed to... I'm gonna go get another cup-"

"Uh-uh, you can clean the rest of this first and then go to bed," Her mother stood up and disposed the glass into the trash, returning with a dustpan and broom. "And tell Yeojin to get to sleep, too. Looks like she hasn't slept in days, that girl."

Hyejoo nodded and quickly swept up the broken shards of glass, careful of where she stepped. There was a damp spot on the carpet now, but Hyejoo could care less. After getting up again, her hand found its place back onto the doorknob, this time opening it with less hesitance.

She looked around the room, nothing abnormal. Still that pile of clothes at the foot of her bed, posters of various musicians on the walls, bookshelf the only thing that was organized, considering she's never touched a book. 

"Hello?" She called into the room, not sure if she was expecting an answer or not. She felt around the wall with an open palm until she felt the light switch and flickered it on. Nothing out of the ordinary. Maybe Yeojin's just weird as hell. Scratch that, Yeojin _is_ just weird as hell.

Closing Yeojin's bedroom door, Hyejoo walked back into her room, throwing herself onto the mattress. It only took a matter of minutes for her to fall into dreamland, awakening by the annoying beeping of her alarm the following morning.

"Ughhh," Hyejoo blindly stretched her arm out and hit around until she found her alarm, shutting it off. Rubbing her eyes, Hyejoo sat up. Throwing on her school uniform, brushing through her hair, doing dental and skin care, and going to get Yeojin, she was ready for school in a matter of fifteen minutes.

"Yeojin, let's go," Hyejoo called, walking over to the place Yeojin sat last night, only to be greeted by a totally empty space. Groaning, she realized she probably left to school without Hyejoo. "Can't wait five minutes... I don't even take that long to get ready, that rat..." She muttered to herself as she walked out the door and towards the way to school.

She plugged in her earbuds as she walked the way to her eight hours of juvenile punishment- school. The music out-blasted the loud kids shouting as she walked into the school, a few teachers telling her to put her phone away, to which she ignored.

"Hey Hyejoo," a student greeted, Hyejoo only taking one glance at them.

"Okay," Hyejoo responded. They were about to question her response until she walked straight past them and to her class, not bothering with the fake kids she practically lived with.

"Y'know, you should try actually talking to people... Especially when they approach you..?" The person came back. This time, Hyejoo looked at them long enough to realize exactly _who_ it was. _Jeon Heejin_. Teachers pet, everyone likes her... There's no reason not to, really. She's perfect, _and_ she wants to be everyone's friend. She doesn't hang out exclusively with the popular clique, but that's her go-to.

"I'm good," Hyejoo stayed persistent, increasing her speed a bit, to which Heejin only matched.

"Why?"

"Because I hate the entire population of this school."

"Okay..." Heejin said slowly. "Well, why don't you sit with me at lunch? I don't like seeing you all alone!"

Hyejoo groaned at her positivity, "I don't sit alone cause I'm a loser, you know. Literally, if I had a dollar for every time someone invited me to their table, I could by my own fucking cafeteria..." She laughed. "I choose to sit alone. Everyone here is fake. You're no exception yourself, Jeon Heejin."

"Ouch."

"Sorry," She smiled, shrugging. "Plus, don't you sit with Chaewon?"

"And?" Heejin asked nonchalantly.

" _And_ ," Hyejoo started. "I'd never be caught sitting with her at lunch alive. We kinda have a mutual hate for each other."

"Oh," Heejin said, trying to look at Hyejoo, but she was avoiding eye contact. "Huh. I mean, she doesn't have to sit with us, she has other people to sit with."

Hyejoo laughed, "As if, she'd sit there purposely just to annoy me!"

"Come on, she's not that bad!" Heejin insisted.

"Have you met her?" Hyejoo shook her head, finding it silly that Heejin is staying so persistent with defending her friend. Has she not noticed Hyejoo wasn't going to give up? She hates this girl with a _passion_. It all just kind of happened after Chaewon found Hyejoo spray painting graffiti- actually, that memory should remain repressed. She didn't want to have to relive it in her mind again.

"Hey Heejin," The voice caused Hyejoo to look up, not too ecstatic at the face she met.

"Oh, hey, Chaewon," Heejin replied.

"Speak of the devil," Hyejoo added.

"Huh?" Chaewon raised an eyebrow walking at Heejin's side.

Heejin sighed, "Don't mind her. Think she might be in a bad mood, Chae."

"Excuse me?" Hyejoo stopped to look at Heejin with a dead serious face, a look warning her not to elaborate further on that idea.

"She's always like that, Heejin..." Chaewon said through a sigh. "She's a troublemaker, you know."

"Actually, I don't know. This is probably just some prejudice of yours, but you know what? I won't ask," Heejin said, waving a hand in a shake to say 'no'. "This is my classroom. I'll see you guys around." And as Heejin left, the two of them were left alone. With each other.

"So, Wolfie," Chaewon smiled. "Anymore vandalism acts? Any other illegal things, too? Really liked that one of-"

"Chaewon, stop," Hyejoo cut off. "Also, don't call me that anymore. We're not seven, and we're _definitely_ not friends."

"Aww, what happened?" Chaewon played a pout. "You remember, don't you? You were the wolf, I was the butterfly," Chaewon laughed sincerely at the memory. "What happened to you?"

"What happened to _me_??" Hyejoo asked, taking offense. "Oh, what happened to _me_. Yes, cause _I'm_ the one who's changed. We used to be best friends, _okay. Used to._ That's in the past now. I'm going to class, if you wouldn't mind." Before she could start walking, Chaewon spoke again.

"Well, I mean, I don't recall you doing any risky, illegal things back then."

"I was _seven_ , do you expect me to be a mass murderer at that age?" Hyejoo scoffed at Chaewon's apparent stupidity. She didn't respond to that, rather just kept walking alongside Hyejoo quietly until she came across her classroom. Hyejoo hadn't even realized she passed her own, that she walked past it and basically walked Chaewon to class.

"See you later, Wolfie," Chaewon smiled, and Hyejoo couldn't tell if she was being snarky or not.

"I'm good, Butterfly." Hyejoo tried using Chaewon's tactic against her, but cringed instead at how it felt rolling off her tongue. Sounded like some sick pet name you'd give to a lover, which, laughably, is the farthest from what they were. Chaewon noticed this too, laughing before entering her classroom.

Hyejoo walked back over to her class, regret making her crinkle her nose as she remembered the days when they were absolutely _inseparable_ , best friends. They got to hang out a lot because their parents are neighbors, so it was always a short walk across the street to the other's house. Now, Hyejoo almost doesn't remember what Chaewon's house looks like. But then again, she could never forget it, either.

She got into the classroom and slid into her chair. She tapped her pencil on her closed notebook as her teacher was lecturing them something about politics and economy, the slight _tip tap_ of the pencil making Hyejoo lose focus even more. Her eyes went unfocused as she became lost in her thoughts.

_"Wolfie~" Chaewon singsonged, bright smile on her face as she was moving towards Hyejoo's house. Her steps were in skips as her hair bounced over her shoulders each time her foot hit the ground. She could see Hyejoo in the front yard, sitting in the grass underneath a tree, shading herself from the burning sun above._

_"Hi Chae," Hyejoo smiled, patting a place next to her under the tree, telling her to sit there._

_Chaewon stood a few feet away from her where it was still sunny, "My parents wanted to know if you wanted to come over for dinner, your parents too."_

_Hyejoo looked back at her house, which her parents were currently in. She knew they were in there, making food, but she didn't care. She would come over anyway. "Okay," She smiled to Chaewon brightly._

_Hyejoo ran up to Chaewon and took her hand in her own, swaying their arms excessively as they both walked back to Chaewon's house. They were both still tiny, only being seven, yet were allowed to cross the street to the other's house any time they wished. Mostly because of their parents, who adore each other, and also the other's kids. But it just so happened that the two really clicked with each other, that once they got near each other, they were inseparable._

_\---_

_"Happy birthday dear Hyejoo, happy birthday to you~" The table sang in unison, applauding while Hyejoo thinks of a wish before blowing out her candles. Chaewon sat right next to her, elbowing Hyejoo's side, "So now you're thirteen, huh? You know what that means."_

_Hyejoo smiled back at her, "What? Angst? Sadness? Loss of motivation, drama, hormones? Not exactly excited for that, Chae."_

_"Don't worry," Chaewon laughed, placing a hand on Hyejoo's shoulder. "You'll be just fine. How do you think I survived so far?"_

_"Only because I was by your side," Hyejoo joked as her mother cut a piece of cake and placed it in front of Hyejoo. Right after, the same was done for Chaewon._

_"So how do you think you'll survive?" Chaewon asked with a mouthful of chocolate cake._

_Hyejoo laughed, hesitant with answering, knowing what Chaewon wanted her to say, "With you by my side?"_

_Chaewon smiled brightly, "Ding ding ding!"_

_\---_

_Hyejoo watched as Chaewon walked around her yard with another girl, talking mindlessly to her as she once did to Hyejoo. She remembered when this would be the two of them, walking side by side, attached by the hip. It was just weeks ago when Chaewon said she'd be by Hyejoo's side, yet they haven't talked since that girl moved in the neighborhood._

_Hyejoo didn't get it. Sure, she had a nice smile, she might've been kind, her laugh was cute... But wasn't Hyejoo supposed to be Chaewon's best friend? So why is she stuck dreadfully watching them through her window? The sight of them smiling at each other, laughing to one another, she could almost hear Chaewon joking about something stupid._

_Her face drifted downwards into a small frown, yet still tried to hide it. She tried to tell herself that she wasn't Chaewon's only friend, that Chaewon was allowed to hang out with other people, but it's hard to not feel replaced when she's only been hanging out with that girl and not Hyejoo._

_Chaewon looked up, seeing Hyejoo's face through the window. Hyejoo didn't even look away when Chaewon stared at her, she wanted Chaewon to pity her. To feel guilty, to feel sorry. Because Chaewon promised to be by her side, to help her through the years she'd need her the most. Yet, here she is, doing exactly the opposite._

_Suddenly, Chaewon stood up, grabbing onto the other girl's hand, and began walking over to Hyejoo's house. Quickly, Hyejoo ran to the front door and locked it, hoping they wouldn't try and come in. She hid behind the door, anticipating the knock or ring of the doorbell._

_Two knocks. "Hyejoo, come out." She didn't answer._

_Another knock, "Come on, don't be like this," She could almost hear Chaewon's smile. "Wolfie." At that, she could hear the other girl's small, cute chuckle, which quickly faded after a second. Probably thought the pet name was stupid._

_It took three more knocks for them to realize Hyejoo wasn't coming, and after a while, Hyejoo thought it was safe enough to stop hiding behind the door. She peeked out the window ever so slightly to see the girls back in Chaewon's yard, talking amongst themselves._

_And for weeks, Hyejoo would watch them pitifully and mourn the loss of Chaewon's friendship, missing her more with each passing day. She wished Chaewon would do as little as to even greet her, but apparently even that was too hard. But after a while, Hyejoo gave up watching them. Gave up her hopes of having Chaewon see her again, without the other being there as well. It never happened, but Hyejoo knew it wouldn't. Whatever. It didn't hurt, Hyejoo told herself. It doesn't hurt, she tries to tell herself again as she wipes her eyes. Her only connection to her is through that stupid window, that was the only time she'd ever see her._

_She closed her curtains._

_\---_

_Hyejoo finds peace in doing whatever she's not supposed to do now, now that she has no body by her side. By the time she turned sixteen, this became something she did daily. Snuck out of her house, commit vandalization, get lunch, stay over Yerim's house until early in the morning the next day. Yerim was the only person who cared now. Even her own parents stopped caring, stopped caring whenever she left the house, probably never noticed when she came back. No one cares, no one except Yerim._

_She met Yerim while spray painting graffiti on a concrete wall in some alley she found after walking a lot. She was in that same alleyway, also shaking up a can of spray paint._

_"You too?" She'd ask._

_"Me too," Hyejoo would respond._

_She trusted Yerim with her life, and the same goes for Yerim to her. But even with that, she always found herself thinking about Chaewon. How she betrayed her trust, took it and thrown it away. Hyejoo liked to tell herself she's how she is now because of Chaewon, and she doesn't know if that's good or bad. And when she finally ended up telling Yerim about it, she knew exactly how to handle it._

_"Sounds like she's been quite the... prissy, huh?" Yerim asked, playing with a lighter, flicking it on, and off._

_"I mean, I guess," Hyejoo agreed, tracing circles on her own palms of nervous habit, talking about Chaewon. She leaned back into the couch, sat directly next to Yerim. Personal space was an unheard subject with them._

_"Hmm..." Yerim hums, as if in deep thought. "Maybe... we could, you know, do something back to her?"_

_"Wh-What do you mean?!"_

_"Oh, come on," Yerim places a hand on Hyejoo's knee. "Just go over to her house, do something stupid that'll get her back, and leave. You get your revenge that way, right?"_

_"Revenge?" Hyejoo asked, surprised. "Not exactly what I had in mind, but, honestly... a tempting idea."_

_"See?" Yerim smiled. "You want to, you know you do. How about I go with you and we give this girl a piece of our minds."_

_Hyejoo turned to look directly into Yerim's eyes, smirking. "You know what? I'm in." Yerim grinned half-sidedly at that, nodding her head._

_"Let's do it."_

_And, they did it. Almost successfully, too. That is, until Chaewon walked out of her house with someone in her hands._

_"Oh!" Chaewon startled, seeing the spray paint on her car. "What... What are you- you IDIOTS doing?!" Her voice raised, getting off of the girl and walking quickly towards her car._

_"Shit, run!" Yerim said, taking off. But Hyejoo couldn't escape, Chaewon held onto the back of her shirt tightly. She looked at her vandalized car, then back at Hyejoo._

_"You think this is funny, right?" Chaewon smiled sarcastically. "Well, haha!! Absolutely hilarious, Hyejoo! God, what a fool. You're such a fucking fool!" Tears streamed in Chaewon's eyes, and she had to fight hard to remain strong and keep them from falling. "You... You really did this to me, huh? After everything I've done for you... Huh? Okay... okay. Okay! Fine, that's okay! Whatever, I don't care!" She released her grip on Hyejoo._

_"What do you mean everything you've done for me?" Hyejoo asks, but her question remained unanswered as Chaewon went on._

_"I was always there for you, Hyejoo. Always. And okay, I'll admit, recently, I've been... I've been.. Well, an asshole, okay?" Chaewon laughed menacingly, arms spreading out in a shrug. "I dunno why I did that. Dick move, I know, don't tell me. I know well enough. But really- Did I deserve this?!?" She pointed to her car, not taking her eyes off Hyejoo._

_"I'm sorry-"_

_"Actually, you're not. Don't fucking say it, I don't want it. I'm fucking DONE with you," Chaewon grunts, eyes puffy, sniffling to hold back her tears with the last of her might. "Fucking leave, go. Don't explain- Don't even talk. I can't believe you... Hyejoo, I've been an ass... But I thought you were better than this," Chaewon finally lets tears spill out, turning around and running back inside her house._

_Hyejoo stood there, looking at the car, and then at her hands, as if she had blood on them from committing genocide. The spray can fell to the floor as she looked up at the girl standing on the staircase, looking confused. "I... I'm sorry," Hyejoo whispered before running off._

_All she ever wanted was for Chaewon to feel guilt. For Chaewon to know how wrong she was. But all this time, Chaewon had known. Yet, Hyejoo somehow proved herself to be the lesser man of the situation. She felt like shit, knowing that all this, this mess, whatever it was, was all her fault. But also because she knew her relationship with Chaewon would never be the same again._

"Hello?? Hyejoo???" She heard someone call to her.

"H-huh? Oh," She realized she'd been zoning out, everybody's head turning to her. "Sorry... I was, uh, I was just-"

"It's okay. Just pay attention," The teacher cut off her apology before she could make some phony excuse. Hyejoo felt her cheeks burning red as she tried to ignore the eyes on her. One by one, the students put their focus back on the teacher, making Hyejoo sit more comfortably in her skin, losing the crimson undertones.

She tried her best to focus and write notes, hand quickly fumbling around with a pen as she tried to jot down whatever her teacher was lecturing. Still, she couldn't help but to think about how much Chaewon has changed... After that day, she just held such a grudge on Hyejoo, and Hyejoo didn't know what's else to do except make it mutual.

She could have apologized, yes, but how? _Hey, I'm sorry for messing with you... and your car. Even though you've been a dick to me._ But no, that would never be heard from Hyejoo. She'd never apologize after having held this grudge for so long. Chaewon was a douche, maybe she _did_ deserve that, Hyejoo knew it. But deep down, she'd never stop feeling guilty for what she's done.

She managed to somehow get almost a page of notes from that class until it was dismissed, leaving her to have to study from the textbook later on. She hated studying from the textbook, it was difficult and, mostly so, because she didn't like having to read to find the answers. Sighing, she grabbed her notebooks and stationary and went to her locker.

Fumbling with the lock in her palm, fingers twisting at the knob, she got whatever she'd need for her next class, proceeding to head off. And it seemed the day had kept repeating itself, struggling to pay attention in classes, being embarrassed after getting caught stuck in her thoughts, and going back to her locker to do it all over again.

Lunch was the same as every other day, Hyejoo would purposely sit at the table furthest in the corner and eat there, refusing anybody else's offers to sit with her. She wasn't a people person, and considering she was forced to be around people all the time at school, having at least some alone time was good.

And once she was walking back home, walking along to the track playing in her earbuds, she could go back home and live normally. People wouldn't have to annoy her, no one would ask to sit with her, and she didn't have to take stupid, pointless, fucking notes. Except- she did have to, considering she missed half of each class. _God damnit, Chaewon, why did you have to run into me today?!_

She opened up her textbook and got her notebook, clicking her pen as she read the text. The house was silent, almost too silent, but Hyejoo figured Yeojin just went over a friend's house. Otherwise, she'd hear a lot more screaming around the house.

After four hours, lots of energy bars, a few crying breaks, and a whole lot of cursing at numerous textbook passages, she'd finally caught up with what she was supposed to have had in each class today. And, for once today, Chaewon was the last thing on her mind. Right now, she only cared about sleep. Just sleep, nothing else really, no one else means shit. She just wanted to _sleep_ , and, preferably, just never wake up after.

Exhausted, Hyejoo threw herself onto her mattress, not bothering with blankets as she curled up into a ball. Her eyelids were instantly heavy as she drifted off to sleep.

_Ding~_

_Diiing~_

"Why do I keep that fucking alarm-" Hyejoo grunts, shutting the annoying beeping of her alarm off. Getting ready for school groggily, she slowly went down the stairs to greet Yeojin.

"Yeojin," Hyejoo called, rubbing her eye. But, similar to yesterday, there was no response. She wasn't about to bat an eye until she remembered, she wasn't here last night either. And- what was that thing she said the other night? Something... Something about someone getting her? Suddenly, this is all piecing together in Hyejoo's mind.

"Oh my god..." She muttered, jaw slack. "Oh... OH MY GOD!" Her voice raised as she ran out the door, her feet unconsciously dragging her body towards Chaewon's house, fist knocking dramatically at her door.

"Come on, please..." Hyejoo whispered, feeling tears form in her eyes. "Please answer..!"

The door hastily swung open, "Hel- _Oh_ ," Chaewon looked genuinely surprised, not expecting Hyejoo to be at her house. She can't recall when she's last stepped on her yard after she'd ruined her car... "Hyejoo. Pleasant surprise."

"I know you don't want me here, Chaewon, but I _need_ you." The sudden pleading in her voice once again took Chaewon by surprise, along with the image of Hyejoo with tears bordering her waterline.

"Hey, you okay?" Chaewon furrowed her eyebrows.

"No! No, I'm not fucking _okay_ , my sister is gone!"

Chaewon's jaw dropped. She'd think Hyejoo was joking, but she looked absolutely serious, which scared Chaewon beyond comprehension. "G-gone? She died??"

"What? No! Yes? I- I dunno!!" Hyejoo said with a raised voice, a lone tear falling down her cheek, leaving a wet trail.

"I- I'm sorry, Hyejoo, but I don't know what you want me to do..."

"Help me."

"Huh?"

"Help me," Hyejoo repeated, eyes bright.

"Help... Help you?! With what?" Chaewon didn't know what she could possibly help Hyejoo with. She doesn't fuck with spirits, and she's definitely not contacting satan to drag Yeojin back from Hell. She'd chop off a limb before she'd do that.

"Just help me find her, okay?" Hyejoo begged more than asked. "Please... I- She's been gone, and, and I think someone took her..." She said between tears.

"Are you sure? You have no one else who can help you? You know... someone you _don't_ hate?" Chaewon tried wording it correctly, but either way it would come out offensive.

"Chae, she's my sister!! Please, please I'm beginning you, help me!! If you could do as little as to even help _a little_ , just _walk_ with me, please! I... I have to find her," Hyejoo sniffed, more tears dampening her face.

Chaewon couldn't help but to pity her. She didn't want to, though. It made her stomach churn. She was supposed to hate her guts now, after that incident. So why would she help her? But the better side of her knew it was morally right, her own _sister_ is missing... If this was Chaewon right now, she'd want help from Hyejoo, too. Exaggerating a sigh, Chaewon agreed, "Alright."

Hyejoo flashed a broken smile at her, "Really?? Oh, thank you! Thank you!" She pulled Chaewon in for a hug, and even though Chaewon didn't wrap her arms around Hyejoo back, she didn't release her grip until a few seconds later.

"Okay... let's not get too excited here..." Chaewon said, crossing her arms. "But where do we start?"

"I don't know," Hyejoo admitted. "I'll just go where my feet take me. And... And we'll find her. I know we will."

"Okay," Chaewon stepped out of the door. "Then let's go."

And as they walked, Chaewon made sure to keep distance from Hyejoo, a few feet between the two as they walked. She couldn't just forget about her dislike towards Hyejoo like that, just because her sister is gone. Sure, she pitied her, but that doesn't take back what she's done. How she not only did _that_ , but ignored her, too. Blocked Chaewon's number from her phone, wouldn't answer when she'd knock on her door... She didn't want to risk anything, she knows how much Hyejoo changed. Agreeing to do this was risky in itself, but she knew she did the right thing. The right thing for the wrong person.


	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: panic attacks, domestic abuse, dark web if you squint, and a shitload of angst. the writing is realistic so please click away if you find the above triggering/disturbing (except the dark web. i've never been on so idk if i even wrote it accurately lmao)
> 
> why must i be so extra you ask?? well, sharon, what if i felt as if i wanted to make u guys suffer RIGHT after suffering from oao??? i am trying to feed you guys eat your foodalso i guess i blew up on twitter time for some SELF PROMO im @streamloona

It was silent. The dead noise of nothingness ringed through Chaewon's ears. They've only been walking for a few minutes, yet it had already been long enough for her to consider running back. There should be no reason Chaewon would willingly help Hyejoo- someone who she previously put every once in her trust in, just to leave it in her near-stranger hands now- but here she is, walking alongside her. She took a step away, creating more distance.

Hyejoo only looked at the ground while walking, only daring to glance up at Chaewon a few times. The silence was tense, it made Hyejoo feel as if any second one of them could pop off. Anxious tears filled her eyes as her mind ran through all the what ifs, all the possible scenarios that Yeojin might be going through right now. But rather than voicing her concern, she bit her bottom lip worriedly and continued pacing.

She wasn't exactly sure why Chaewon agreed to helping her, especially considering they've completely lost each other's trust. But she was the first person Hyejoo came to anyway, and she just told herself it was because she was close. She would've gone to Yerim, but a quick impulse told her to go to Chaewon.

They continued walking like that for what felt like an eternity, despite only having thirty minutes pass, without any chatter between the two. The pavement they walked upon seemed loud as their steps echoed into the air, setting a rhythm of sorts with the tick-tacks of their shoes.

"Where are we even going, Hyejoo?" Chaewon said through a sigh, stopping in her tracks, causing Hyejoo to pause as well. Hyejoo blinked at Chaewon.

"I... I'm not sure yet. Somewhere- somewhere where we'll find her," Hyejoo spoke quickly, fingers twiddling with each other frantically. It was a nervous habit of hers that Chaewon picked up instantly, recognizing her panic.

Chaewon rubbed her temple, continuing to sigh defeatedly. "Alright. I knew that, Hyejoo. But we need a definitive plan. I know before I agreed to not having one before, but really, this isn't working. We can't walk into this blindly, y'know. We'll never find her that way."

Hyejoo looked forward, avoiding eye contact with the girl a few steps behind her. The words struck her like lightning to a rod, recognizing the lack of a solid plan. "No, no, we... We're _going_ to find her. She's not lost... She can't be..."

"How do we know? She could be _dead_ for fucks sake, and we don't even know how to fucking get to her. This is really sad and pathetic, Hye. We can't fucking find her if we don't know where she is," Chaewon spat, unintentionally adding more fuel to Hyejoo's already agonizingly large fire, threatening to explode any second. She bit on her nail as Chaewon continued, "I want to help but you have to understand I _can't_ if we don't have any hope in finding her on the street. Literally in the middle of no where. We're _not_ moving forward with this _oh, let's just walk and and hope we find her!! hehe!!_ mindset, because, news flash, it doesn't work that way! Legitimately, we need-"

"Stop, Chae. Please," Hyejoo turned around to face Chaewon, tears falling from her glassy eyes, making Chaewon's stomach twist in guilt. Hyejoo was shaking, her breathing short and stuttered, she looked so fragile.

"Hyejoo-" Chaewon reached to wrap an arm around Hyejoo, which was only rejected.

"Don't touch me, Chae. I get it now, we don't have any hope," Hyejoo ironically smiled towards Chaewon, breaking her heart to see the corners of Hyejoo's lips shake weakly in an attempt to hold the smile. "You... You can go back now, if you want. Guess I really am just a _bad sister_ anyway." Hyejoo took a shaky hand up to her face in a useless attempt to wipe the tears stained on her face, only being replaced by many more.

Chaewon hated the gut feeling in her stomach right now. She hated the little angel in her mind saying, _help her, comfort her_ , because she didn't deserve it. After all, the reason they separated was because of Hyejoo... Right? Why would Hyejoo deserve to be comforted when she never comforted Chaewon after she ignored her? And no matter how much that little angel tried to bribe her to, she just couldn't get herself to say it: _sorry._

"Go on, Chaewon. Please, express how much of a _failure_ I am. Absolute disappointment, right? That I let _you_ down, I let my _parents_ down, now my damned little sister, too. I'm just an absolute gaping pile of _garbage_ , right? And... And we'll never be able to find my fucking sister, right? She's gone... R-Right?" Hyejoo marched towards Chaewon, trying to remain confident in her speech, but not before her knees became weak, unable to support her own weight. She wobbled on her feet like an intoxicated man, trying to seal her feet on the ground. Her sight began to fade from blurred visions of reality to what she couldn't tell between a flash of white or black. Her mind felt like slush as she toppled to the ground, hands on either side of herself, preventing her head from colliding into the pavement.

"Oh my god, Hyejoo!" Chaewon panicked, immediately getting on her knees and placing a hand on Hyejoo's forehead to check for a temperature. "Hey, Hyejoo, listen to me, you're _okay_ ," Chaewon comforted Hyejoo, running her hand through her black strands of hair. She remembers Hyejoo used to like that. She leaned into Chaewon's touch, body weak and limp. "I.. I didn't mean what I said, I just got a little mad, okay? We'll find her, I promise," Chaewon's hands traced little patterns upon Hyejoo's scalp, her head resting on Chae's chest.

"You- You won't leave me?" Hyejoo sniffed, tears being absorbed by the fabric of Chaewon's shirt.

"No. Even if you want me to, I'm not leaving your side. We'll get her together, alright?" Chaewon assured, her other hand resting on the small of Hyejoo's back. And the little angel in her head soon won over, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean what I said earlier. We'll find her, with or without a plan."

"No, we need a plan, y-you're right..." Hyejoo stuttered through her speech. "We won't find her without one, I just don't know what to fucking _do_. I feel... so _incapable_. So small and insignificant, Chaewon... I-"

"Hyejoo, _listen to me_. Everything will be alright. We're going to do this, yeah?" Hyejoo gave a small nod to that, face in the crook of Chaewon's neck now. "You're _fine_ ," Chaewon whispered delicately, holding Hyejoo in her arms as if she were a fragile doll. The scene was so obscure, to find two young girls like this on the pavement, but right now, they were in their own world. And for a second, Chaewon felt like they were friends again.

"I'm fine," Hyejoo repeated into Chaewon's skin, her hot breath hitting Chaewon's neck. She felt so safe in Chaewon's arms, like it was a force field that blocked out the entire world. And despite what she's thought for the past few years, Chaewon really is the same softie deep down. The girl who'd always be there for a helping hand, even in the most begrudging of situations. And she could faintly hear the sound of her comforting Hyejoo, in slow, quiet mumbles. With Chaewon's fingers interlaced in Hyejoo's hair, soft breath on the top of her head, she felt her eyelids become heavy.

Chaewon sat there, Hyejoo cradled in her arms, comforting her and tracing slow patterns on her back, her scalp, despite knowing Hyejoo was asleep now. She felt so warm against Chaewon, so vulnerable and scared. When she thought it was safe, Chaewon picked her up and carried her in her arms, walking back to her house.

But only because she needed to rest well. Not because she _cared_. 

Arriving back to her house in the black of the night, Chaewon carried the still sleeping girl in her arms to her bedroom, tucking her gently under the covers. She looked at the sleeping figure for a second, curled up, hair sprawled out across the pillows, face tearstained. She didn't allow herself more than a second though, before opting to sleep on the couch, rooms away from Hyejoo. She didn't know if the space was for the sake of Hyejoo or herself, but she found herself too exhausted to give a second thought about that question, immediately drifting to sleep.

\---

"Chaewon," she heard her name get called, causing her head to rise up immediately, then fall back down to rest.

"H-huh?" Chaewon's voice was raspy, rubbing her eyes to get a better look at the silhouette in front of her. Not to much surprise, though, of it being Hyejoo. "Hi."

"Why the fuck are we at your house..? Weren't we supposed to, y'know, find my sister.." Hyejoo suggested, voice low as she prevailed her anger. She spoke softly, as she had only just woken up, but also because of her sore throat from her previous crying yesterday.

"Oh, uh-" Chaewon didn't know what to say, why _did_ she bring her back, again? Why'd she give up her bed to Hyejoo, and opt to sleep on the couch? Her mind was still too foggy for this, considering she had only just woken up, and she couldn't recall the events of last night. Actually- she could, _yes_ , it's coming back to her now. Hyejoo was panicking, she thought. Was that what happened? And, _oh,_ her sister! But now that she thought back to it, was it just a dream? "What happened again last night?" Chaewon asked quickly, rubbing her forehead.

"Well... we were going to find my sister... as I just said..." Hyejoo spoke slowly, eyebrows knitting together. How could Chaewon just forget like that?

"I know, I know, but, like, _why_ ," Chaewon tried again, sitting up from her resting position. Hyejoo immediately noticed Chaewon's eye bags, she looked sleep deprived and really tired. Her shirt was baggy, and it reminded Hyejoo of the times when she'd sleep over Chaewon's house. She'd always borrow one of her oversized shirts, wearing it to sleep as they both shared the bed. She tried not to think about it to much, because the more she did, the more she realized she misses it.

"I'm not exactly sure about that part yet. But we have to find her, I don't know why you brought us back here..." Hyejoo said, turning away to walk into the bathroom before Chaewon could reply.

Sighing, Chaewon got up from her space on the couch and walked into the kitchen, fixing herself a bowl of Cheerios. She tried to think more about last night, they were walking, a lot, and then something happened, and Hyejoo got upset. Chaewon couldn't exactly remember why though, and she wasn't going to risk asking Hyejoo about it. She just remembered whatever it was genuinely upset her, and she ended up taking Hyejoo home.

The door of the bathroom opened, and Hyejoo marched out, moving towards the front door. Chaewon looked up at her in confusion, and with a mouthful of cereal, "What are you doing?"

"Going to find Yeojin. I don't have time to sit here and dilly dally, she's still missing, you know," Hyejoo said, opening the door, ready to leave before Chaewon spoke up again.

"What about me?" She asked, spooning in another mouthful of Cheerios. She looked unbothered, but she really did want to help Hyejoo out. Yeojin was her sister as much as she was Hyejoo's, and even if they were enemies now, it was morally wrong to let Hyejoo go into this alone.

"Well, you can come now, or just stay here. I rethought it, I don't need your help," The lie tasted bitter on Hyejoo's tongue. "I just wanted it."

"You wanted help from _me_?" Chaewon smiled. Hyejoo rolled her eyes, but Chaewon knew Hyejoo wouldn't have gone to anyone else first. Who else was close enough that could help her find Yeojin?

"Don't think you're too special," Hyejoo said, closing the door to renter Chaewon's house. She stood there, crossed arms over her chest, tapping her foot as if she was waiting for something. But when Chaewon didn't get the hint, Hyejoo sighed, "So are you coming with me or not?"

Chaewon's eyes flew up to meet Hyejoo's. It really did look like Hyejoo could do this on her own, like she really _didn't_ need Chaewon's help. And somehow, that took a blow to Chaewon's ego.

She spooned more Cheerios into her mouth, using it as an excuse to not talk, being able to consider her options more. Going with Hyejoo might reestablish their relationship, and maybe they'd become best friends again. Maybe they'd realize how inseparable they truly are, and that they really shouldn't have had some silly girl get in the way of that. But that also brings the what ifs of never finding their way back, never seeing their family again, having to be stuck with Hyejoo forever. The thought sent a shiver down Chaewon's spine.

On the other hand, not going promises Chaewon safety and protection in her own home, and she wouldn't have to face a risky environment with Hyejoo. After all, Hyejoo is short-tempered, and Chaewon isn't exactly sure if she's on her good side or not yet, but considering past events, and last night's, she shouldn't come to a conclusion yet. But then Hyejoo is going into this _alone_ , which is extremely scary and not to mention dangerous. The thought of her family mourning over _two_ of their children being missing hurt Chaewon's heart, even if that meant her own mom losing her child. Not like she'd care much, anyway.

"I don't have all day, Chaewon. What's it gonna be?"

Chaewon swallowed thickly, biting her lip as she put her now empty cereal bowl down, the porcelain clanking softly against her countertop being the only noise in the room. Hyejoo's eyes burned into Chaewon, as if they were telling her to just _go with her_ , but Hyejoo's stance told her _she didn't need more problems._

Exhaling loudly and slowly, Hyejoo turned around and opened the door, "I'll see you, Butterfly." And with that, she was gone.

Chaewon would have ran to Hyejoo right then, but her body felt numb. It stood motionless on the floor as her body leaned against the counter. Did she make the wrong choice? How far ahead was Hyejoo now? Was there a point in running back to her at this point? But obviously, Chaewon saw it now. Hyejoo really didn't need her.

The nickname stuck in her heart, the word _Butterfly_ tattooed in it that tug at her heartstrings every time it was mentioned. Her eyes pooled up but no tears escaped, she didn't want to let herself cry over Hyejoo again. She closed her eyes tightly, dragging her back down the counter until she was sitting adjacent against it. Her palms covered her face as she deeply regretted not just _going with her_ , helping her find her sister like any decent human being. But she wasn't, she _wasn't_. Chaewon knew Hyejoo was better off trying to find Yeojin without her now. She remembers briefly when the two couldn't live without each other, she remembers how attached they were. It all seemed so long ago, yet it still remained in her mind.

_"No, Wolfie," Chaewon giggled, her small hand wrapping around Hyejoo's arm as she tried to run away. But Hyejoo was giggling too, she could hear it, and she turned the girl around so she could face her. "Don't goooo," she whined, but the playful smile was still written on her face._

_"I'm going!" Hyejoo stomped her foot down, but looked into Chaewon's eyes as she laughed. "You can't just say that to my friend!!"_

_Chaewon frowned, turning to Hyejoo's imaginary friend. "I'm sorry, Mister Dragon," she put out a hand as if to touch the dragon's shoulder in sorrow._

_"For..?" Hyejoo waited, watching Chaewon sigh._

_"For calling you a stinky boy..." Chaewon mumbled, looking down. Hyejoo was unresponsive for a moment._

_"What was that?" Hyejoo leaned into the air, putting a hand over her ear. "Oh, Mister Dragon said he forgives you." She smiled. Hyejoo's hand wrapped around Chaewon's. "So I guess I forgive you too."_

_"So you'll stay?" Chaewon smiled, swinging their interlocked hands in the air._

_Hyejoo laughed at that, "No, my parents told me to be home by dinner. And my mommy made my favorite, I can't miss it." She slowly released Chaewon's hand as she walked away, feet flattening the grass under them as she backed away a few steps. "I'll see you, Butterfly."_

_Chaewon grudgingly watched Hyejoo walk away, frown across her face. "Well, you left your dragon here!" Chaewon yelled to the girl, who was already across the street in her own yard._

_She saw the girl turn around, "He said he wanted to stay with you tonight!" Hyejoo smiled. Her mom opened the front porch's door and squat down, holding her arms out wide as Hyejoo ran up the stairs and into them. Her mom stood up and carried her daughter in, Hyejoo's legs wrapped around her mother's waist._

_Chaewon sighed, she wished her mommy loved her._

Chaewon found herself sobbing, she didn't know when it started. But now that it did, she couldn't stop. She buried her face in her arms as she cried loudly, and at this point, she wasn't even sure _why_. But tear after tear dropped down her cheeks, making lakes of emotion as they fell off her chin and onto the sleeves of her shirt.

"Chaewon? Chaew- Oh, _god damnit,_ get off the floor," she heard, the familiar mean voice booming through the room. She looked up quickly, embarrassed that somebody caught her having a crying fit like a two year old.

"O-oh, sorry, mom," Chaewon looked down at the ground once she stood up, too afraid to make eye contact.

"Mm... Where were you yesterday?" Her mother asked, walking slowly around Chaewon to the coffee pot. Each _click_ of her heels brought dread to Chaewon, closing her eyes tightly. She remembers being young, defenseless against her mom, always running back to her dad whenever she got scary. But ever since he died, Chaewon had no one to run to. Now it's just her and her mom, and no one is there to save her.

Trying to get out of this quickly, Chaewon started taking steps away from her mom when she was too focused on selecting what kind of coffee she'd like today. "I, uhh, I was at school, mom. Stayed at the library. You know, studying," Chaewon spoke lowly. "Anyway, I just had breakfast, I'm gonna go take a walk. Have fun at work, mom-" Chaewon slid a sweatshirt over her shoulders, hand on the doorknob as her mom cleared her throat.

"And I suppose you were studying with Hyejoo, right? That is why she was here?" Her mom still asked nonchalantly, but Chaewon knew she was bothered. Otherwise she wouldn't be asking. Her palms began to sweat, her perspiration making the doorknob wet.

"Yes, yes," Chaewon nodded quickly, voice shaky. She watched as her mother hummed to that, walking to the overhead cabinets to grab a coffee cup.

"You two haven't hung around in a while," she poured the coffee into her cup, not adding any cream or sweetener before drinking it. She must've been inhuman, as it didn't even seem to burn her tongue. The hot beverage slipped down her throat with ease, as she brought the cup to the table. Every movement of hers was slow, so slow and agonizing, as Chaewon anticipated her every move. Fear was written all in Chaewon's eyes, but her mother looked calmly up at her when she took another sip of her drink, a subtle _ahh_ coming after the swig. "Why don't you sit down with your mother?"

Chaewon's eyes widened further as she swallowed thickly, not trusting her voice as she nodded. Her hands shakily pulled out a chair across from her mom, sitting down on the wood as she bit her lip gently.

Her mother's eyes pierced into her skin, examining her face, chest, waist. Her eyes moved up and down judgingly, as her mouth wrapped around the cup again, taking another swig. "Where is she now?"

"Uhh," Chaewon wiped at her forehead, nervous. "She's, uh, she's at her house. I told her I'd come over, so I have to-"

"Why are you lying to your mother?" She interrupted half way through Chaewon's pitiful excuse. Chaewon's jaw fell slack, face growing a crimson tone as it heated up. She wasn't surprised her mom saw right through her, she's an awful liar. But right now, she was terrified of her mom's next move. She tried to sit as still as possible, biting down on her tongue to keep her mouth closed.

"What- What do you mean?" Chaewon pathetically attempted, but her mother stood up to that, coffee cup in her hands as she dragged herself back to the kitchen sink, rinsing it out. The running water of the faucet rang in Chaewon's ears, blinking at her mother who was now avoiding eye contact with her.

"You know I don't like when you lie, Chaewon," her mother shut off the faucet, placing her cup in the strainer. She shook the hair out of her face, walking back over to the table, this time, standing over her daughter.

Chaewon hiccuped, "Yes, mom." Her hands held tightly to the arms of the chair, her mother standing intimidatingly over her frame. She gulped, throat feeling coarse.

"What were you doing yesterday?" Her mother asked, staring down at her.

Chaewon didn't look up, rather she looked down into her lap as she replied. "I was with Hyejoo." It wasn't a lie.

"What for?" Her voice was calm, ironically soothing, a complete contrast to the feeling of the situation. Or Chaewon's situation, at least. She felt her body tense up as her mother bent down closer to her.

"Finding her sister," Chaewon spoke again, looking wide-eyed up at her mother, almost as if to beg her to not do anything.

"Where is her sister?" Her mom ran her fingers through Chaewon's hair, she could feel her mom's nails touching slightly against her scalp. Chaewon's tongue escaped her mouth, wetting her lips.

"We don't know. She's, uh, she's missing."

Her mother hummed, standing back up fully. She dragged her hand down from Chaewon's hair to her cheek, still wet from tears. "And why were you crying, my darling?" The words meant nothing to Chaewon, she knew she didn't mean anything to her mother. She felt stuck, as if she was strapped down onto the chair, when in reality she could have gotten up and ran at any moment, but she wouldn't dare try that.

"I... I don't know, mom," she replied, biting her lip. Her mom tsked, tapping a finger against Chaewon's cheek.

"Tell me, Chaewon," her mother warned, words rolling off her tongue sweetly but bitterly at the same time.

"I really don't know," Chaewon repeated, avoiding eye contact with her mom. Her mother grunted at that, grabbing Chaewon's chin and pulling it upwards quickly, earning a small yelp from Chaewon. "I don't know, mom!" Chaewon yelled, eyes watering as she was forced to stare at her mother.

"Don't raise your voice at me!" Her mother's hand collided with Chaewon's cheek, turning it red even further than it had already been. Chaewon let out a cry, but she wouldn't let tears escape her eyes. She wouldn't let her mom win. "Go to your room, and stay there, smart mouth." She released her bruising grip on Chaewon's chin, letting it fall back with a _smack_ against the back of the chair, watching as her mother put on a jacket, sliding her purse over her shoulder. "And don't talk back again, how many time do I have to tell you?"

Chaewon shakily stood up as she watched her mom leave the house. She heard the engine roar, and shortly after leaving the driveway. "I hate you," Chaewon growled, pushing the chair which she previously sat in angrily. It toppled over, falling onto the ground, and Chaewon didn't bother picking it up before storming to her room.

She threw herself onto the bed where Hyejoo had just slept, _it still smelt like her_. She hated it. She wanted to get her mind off of her, wanted to just sleep, but that felt like a nearly impossible mission now. She unlocked her phone, eyebrows still furrowed in anger.

She scrolled through the contacts on her phone until she found the one she was looking for, _Hyejoo's Mom_. She bit the inside of her cheek as she texted quickly.

**Chaewon:**  
_can i come over?_

She waited nervously for a response. Her cheeks stung where her mother had hit her, she could still feel the handprint. It burned even worse now with tears streaming down it, Chaewon didn't deserve to live with her mom. She still couldn't wrap her head around how she even got stuck with such a bad, uncaring mother in the first place. She saw Hyejoo's mom typing back, three gray dots symbolizing so.

**Hyejoo's Mom:**  
_sure, sweetie  
you okay?_

**Chaewon:**  
_yeah  
i'm fine_

She lied.

\---

Chaewon quickly threw some clothes, a toothbrush, credit card, her phone, laptop, and chargers into a backpack, slipping it over her shoulders as she left the house. She wasn't sure how long she was going to stay at Hyejoo's house, or if she was ever going to come back, all she knew was that she didn't want to live there anymore.

She crossed the road onto Hyejoo's yard, and everything felt familiar again. The evergreens behind her house, the scent of freshly cut grass, the flowers and garden gnomes bordering the staircase of the porch. She looked at the tree Hyejoo always used to sit under when Chaewon would visit out of no where. When she'd hear the crackling of a fire or see the orange light of one through her window, how'd she walk over and join them. Hyejoo's family felt more like family than her own did, and stepping on this grass again felt more like home than home did.

She walked up the wooden stairs, the second one was still creakier than the rest. _Guess they never fixed that_ , Chaewon smiled. The wind blew through the wind chimes, creating a soft melody for the birds above singing their harmonies. Chaewon tried to wipe the stupidly large smile off her face before knocking, but the nostalgia of it all warmed her heart. She placed her hand on the door twice, knocking on the wood and waiting patiently for an answer.

"Oh, hello, Chaewon!" Hyejoo's mother opened the door, grinning as she saw Chaewon and pulling her into a tight hug. Normally, Chaewon hated hugs, but she found she didn't want to let go when she began hugging Hyejoo's mother. She was warm, accepting, and she felt loved in her arms. She really did miss this house, more so than she thought.

"Hi, Miss Son," Chaewon smiled. Hyejoo's mom released her grip on Chaewon, keeping her at arms length as she held onto Chaewon's shoulders.

"We missed you, sweetie! Are you here for Hyejoo?" Miss Son asked, motioning for Chaewon to come in. She closed the door behind her as Chaewon seated herself on the couch.

"No," Chaewon laughed. She didn't even question why she was there after that, just accepted her presence. "Do you... happen to know, by chance, where Yeojin is?"

"Yeojin? You're here for her?" Miss Son asked, not judgingly, but rather kindly, as if she was ready to bring Chaewon to her. But once Chaewon shook her head in disagreement, Miss Son continued. "She is at an education program right now, we got a letter telling us she was capable of joining, so obviously we had her!" She smiled. "Would you like some tea, Chaewon? I have some boiling right now, actually," Miss Son offered.

Chaewon quickly accepted, "Yes, please." She watched as Miss Son walked out of the room, coming back a minute later with two cups in her hands, one in each, giving one to Chaewon. She took a sip politely, trying not to show the burn in her throat. She didn't expect it to be so hot, but it was fresh from the kettle. "Um, Miss Son," Chaewon continued, placing her cup on the coffee table in front of her.

"Yes, my dear?" She responded. When Miss Son said it, she felt so at home. It wasn't like how her own mom said it, because she felt as if she meant something to Miss Son.

"Did Yeojin want to go to this, uh, program?" Chaewon asked again, taking another sip of the now-slightly-less-hot tea.

Miss Son laughed, "You must have heard. She didn't want to, she was telling us about how if she did she'd get 'taken', or something of the sort," Chaewon's eyes widened immediately as she choked on her tea. _Holy shit_. Miss Son recognized Chaewon's concerned, trying to help lessen her worry by adding. "Obviously, she was kidding, though. We wanted her to take this opportunity, so we signed her up. A very friendly man arrived a few days ago early in the morning and picked her up."

Chaewon tried to steady her rapid breathing, "So... Do you know when she's coming back?"

"Should be next week," Miss Son smiled softly. She wasn't trying to put her child in danger, Chaewon knew it, Miss Son was oblivious to what was happening. She remembered what Hyejoo told her the other day- something about her complaining getting taken. It was starting to piece together now.

"Miss Son, I need-" Chaewon looked straight into her eyes, breathing heavily. She didn't know how to tell her. Miss Son stared at her in anticipation for a few moments before Chaewon decided she didn't have the heart to tell her. She knew Miss Son would be devastated, even if Hyejoo claimed she wouldn't care. She knows Miss Son, and telling her that her child was probably not in that education program would break her poor heart. And to add onto that, another one of her children may go missing as well. Sighing, she created some excuse quickly, "I need to, uh, sleep."

Miss Son looked blankly at her for a second, as if she was in disbelief of that being Chaewon's actual concern, but allowed it anyway. "Alright, sweetie. You can use Hyejoo's room, she's not home right now. I'm sure she won't mind." Miss Son smiled before taking a sip of tea, Chaewon repeating the action.

"Well, I don't know if she would let me sleep in there, we haven't, uh- we haven't slept in her room together in a while. She might be mad," Chaewon didn't want Miss Son to know about their friendship- or the lack of one, rather. She might still think of Chaewon as the cutie who's best friend is her daughter, which also happened to be her neighbor.

But Miss Son laughed at that, "Oh, no! No, Hyejoo wouldn't care at all. She always talks about you, you know."

"Huh?" Chaewon almost choked on her tea, wiping at her mouth politely and looking curiously at Hyejoo's mother. "What um, what does she talk about? When she talks about me," Chaewon tried to ask nonchalantly, but she knew she sounded to enticed for an answer. To find out Hyejoo still talked about her gave a small boost to her ego, she thought Hyejoo hated her! _Wait_ , Chaewon's breath hitched, _I shouldn't be excited. I still hate her, right_. She gave a slight shake of her head to get herself out of her mind and looked back at Miss Son, smiling.

"Well, she tells me about how she misses your sleepovers. All the time, actually," Miss Son laughed at a memory. "She always asked for Yerim to- oh, Yerim is her friend by the way-" Miss Son clarified.

"Oh, trust me. I know," Chaewon raised her eyebrows, nodding.

"-And if I would say no, she'd whine about how you would always come over whenever you want. She says that she misses it and now she has 'no freedom'," Miss Son says with air quotes. "She's a silly girl, she really misses you a lot."

Chaewon blinked at her. "Anything else?" She didn't know why she kept asking but she did, she wanted to know. She wanted to know everything Hyejoo would say about her, if she daydreamed about them being friends again. She almost hopes Hyejoo does, for an odd reason she can't quite explain.

"Hyejoo always talks about you, it's hard to remember exactly. I'll tell her you came over, she'd be so happy," Miss Son nodded, sipping the last of what was in her cup.

Chaewon stood up, placing her teacup on the table. She adjusted herself quickly and faked a yawn. "Oh, man, I'm really tired. I should get going to sleep now. Thank you for letting me stay, by the way."

Before Chaewon could walk to Hyejoo's room, she heard Miss Son's voice again. "It's still morning, Chaewon. Did you not sleep well?"

Chaewon appreciated Miss Son's concern, it almost made her feel guilty for lying about her tiresome. "Oh, um, yeah. Couldn't sleep, I should catch up."

"Alright, well rest well, dear. I'll be here if you need me," Hyejoo's mother offered softly with a sweet smile, a nice, caring one that made Chaewon feel loved. She preferred Hyejoo's mom over her own, by a lot. Chaewon smiled to herself as she walked to Hyejoo's room.

Her door was the same white it had always been, but this time there were small pink star stickers around it. Her doorknob was golden and reflective, if Chaewon looked at it she would be able to see herself. She breathed calmly, softly in front of Hyejoo's door, a contrast to her heavy breathing moments ago with Miss Son. She felt at home here, even if she wasn't even in Hyejoo's room yet. Staring at her door made Chaewon feel so safe and warm, protected from her own unkind mother. Her feet twitched on the carpet, begging to move and see what's inside the room.

Her hand lifted up from her side over to the doorknob, holding it gently. She twisted slowly, gaining access into Hyejoo's room. She extended the door fully, seeing everything in Hyejoo's room. Chaewon still stood in the doorway observing Hyejoo's room, eyes moving quicker than her feet.

Her walls were painted a very light gray, there were wooden floorboards extending across the room. It was different from the last time Chaewon had been there, when the walls were a pale pink and the flooring was the same gray carpet in the hall. Her room became a lot more minimalistic than it once was, and with a lot less pink and posters. There were lots of plants, but otherwise the room was pretty open. She had a desk with her laptop on it, the screen was black from it being unused. There were tons of papers and pencils scattered upon her desk, alongside an open textbook. Chaewon walked in the room, looking at the papers on her desk.

They were just study notes, but they looked like a bunch of scribbles with highlighter over them. She laughed, she remembered always teasing Hyejoo about her hieroglyphics. Out of generosity, Chaewon closed Hyejoo's textbook and tucked it in the shelf overhead. She put all the papers together into a pile, hitting the ends twice against the desk to line them up. 

She glanced over Hyejoo's laptop. Chaewon knew the password, unless Hyejoo changed it. It was taking all of her self control to not go through it and see what she was doing on it, just out of curiosity. She turned to look at Hyejoo's bed, all white except the pink throw blanket on top of it, the one Chaewon gave Hyejoo on her twelfth birthday. It made Chaewon happy knowing she kept it, for some reason.

Looking out the doorway, Chaewon remembered Yeojin's room. Immediately, Chaewon jumped up and walked quickly and quietly to Yeojin's room, across the hall from Hyejoo's.

Chaewon laughed at the stupid sign Yeojin still kept on her door, smiling to herself. She opened the door slowly, remembering how Yeojin was missing. Maybe she could find something, some kind of something that could give her more information on where Yeojin is.

Chaewon didn't go to Yeojin's room much whenever she came over Hyejoo's house, so she only remembered its interior very briefly. The thing she remembered most was Yeojin's bright orange walls, which, yep, she still had. Except with more weird posters of celebrities now. Chaewon glanced at a One Direction one before closing her eyes and shaking her head, _didn't that band break up a year ago?_ She stepped inside and looked around for anything suspicious, as if she were a damn spy. She saw Yeojin's phone lying on the mattress, which Chaewon stupidly tried to unlock. What's something stupid Yeojin would create for a passcode? Chaewon thought blankly for a second, before her fingers ran across the number dial. _6969._

_Passcode incorrect_ , the screen shook. Pursing her lips and grunting, she didn't accept the phone's disagreement. So she tried again. And again.

_IPhone disabled._

Chaewon huffed, throwing Yeojin's phone back down on her mattress. She looked over to the nightstand beside Chaewon's bed, noticing an open journal that sat atop it. Humming in consideration, Chaewon observed it silently, not close enough to read the print. A pen rested over a page of the notebook, uncapped and probably dead of ink by now. Chaewon crawled across the mattress to the open journal, picking it up swiftly.

Her eyes scrolled through the writing, reading over it again and again, trying to make sense of it. Trying to piece everything together, to be the hero of the moment, to save Yeojin, but she just couldn't figure out what it meant. And for once, Chaewon really wished Hyejoo was by her side again, so she could heroically show her the information she's found. Maybe together they'd be able to decipher it. Her eyes scanned the page again, slower this time. It didn't make sense until she flipped back a few pages, getting to the original journal.

_May 28, 2018  
This is the journal mom gave me a while ago. I haven't used it much, but I heard journaling is good for getting your thoughts out. I feel really stupid writing in this, like some nerd that has no friends who's only social interactions come from a journal. Whatever. Mom wanted me to use this anyway. Or maybe she wouldn't. She doesn't even notice me anyway. I could probably go missing and she'd never notice. Lol._

_Oh god, I just said 'lol' to a book. What has my life come to._

_I just watched Shane Dawson. He talked about the dark web. So, obviously, I had to search it up. I did and honestly it's soooooo boring... All they did was ask for my address and then I got nothing from it. Stupid scammers or something, probably gonna end up mailing an endless supply of porn magazines to my house now. I'll give them to Hyejoo._

Chaewon bit her lip, flipping to the next page.

_June 2, 2018  
Surprisingly, no porn mags._

_Idk if I'm relieved or disappointed, that Hyejoo idea was pretty tempting._

_I got an odd letter though, some education program I guess. Stupid. Don't they know I hate anything with the word 'education' in it???? My mom signed me up. Tragic. But I yelled at her and she promised to buy me Ben & Jerry's, so all is well._

_Guess I'll see what education brings me._

_June 3, 2018  
I keep getting spam emails from a lot of different weird people now. Like, they're not even the Nigerian Prince ones. Actually, they're not very creative at all. One was like, 'you're very pretty, Yeojin.' And I was like???? How the FUCK did you get my name so I BLOCKED his ass. Or her. But I kept getting emails, and all of them were creepy. Fuck you, pedophiles!! Here, I'll write some of my favorites down._

_'I want to watch you eat' like okay, you probably live in your moms basement begging her to let you eat, I get it. Get a job u rat._

_'Can I sell your organs??' How romantic_

_'You look good when you're brushing your hair, Yeojin. Can you give me some of it?' THAT AINT CUTE._

_And my favorite, 'Please let me see your feet. I will pay you money, give me your bank account info' Yes indeed my feet are fucken handcrafted by god himself aren't they. Jesus Christ some people are in desperate need of a life. Help their dear souls._

_Honorary mention: 'Let's watch a movie. When should we meet baby' This is what I mean when I say I hate men. This is the act of straights._

_June 3 but later at night, 2018  
YALL ONE OF THE OLD MEN CAME TO MY DOOR. RIP RIP RIP I MIGHT DIE. FUCKING WHAT DO I DO. THIS JOURNAL IS MY LAST RESORT I WISH I HAD FRIENDS THAT TEXTED ME BACK FUCK U SOOYOUNG WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE FRIENDS U SNAKE._

_JUST KIDDING ILY SOOYOUNG BUT TEXT MY SOON-TO-BE-DEAD ASS BACK PLEASE. THESE SITUATIONS RLLY BRINGING OUT THE CRACKHEAD IN ME._

_June 4, 2018_  
holy shit. they're trying to fucking take me. this it it, good fucking bye, i never fucking loved u anyway mom, i hope i see u in hell  <3 literally they're coming in FIVE MINUTES to take me. DUMBASS MOM WONT LISTEN TO ME EITHER!!! THEY'RE KIDNAPPING PEDOS WHO WANT TO SELL MY ORGANS AND LICK MY FEET!!! ANYWAY ITS BEEN NICE KNOWING A FEW OF THE PEOPLE IVE INTERACTED WITH, BUT FOR THE MOST PART I HATE A LOT OF YOU. IF YOU'RE READING THIS I PROBABLY HATE YOU. TRY HARDER TO SAVE ME NEXT TIME U HEADASS.  
-your dead friend Yeojin 

"Oh," was all Chaewon could gasp out. There was a lot to take from those letters, the information absorbed into her mind quietly. Chaewon's body began to curl up as she felt sick to her stomach, throwing the journal across the room. "Oh my god," Chaewon breathed rapidly, hand over her stomach. Her head was like a carousel, spinning round and round. She was so dizzy, and to add to that her stomach wouldn't allow her to get up at all, afraid she might puke.

Chaewon felt so odd laying there on Yeojin's bed, as if static was crawling all over her skin and itching for her to get off. Her jaw chattered, throwing an arm around her stomach as she pulled herself off the bed. The room looked like it was spinning, Chaewon tried blinking but nothing worked. She backed away, mouth thrown open, beginning to lose ability of carrying her own weight. Her legs wobbly sprinted back to Hyejoo's room in the heat of the moment, throwing everything back into her backpack as she opened the window, letting the fresh air hit her face. Panting, Chaewon pushed herself up onto both feet, proceeding to sit herself down onto the windowsill. Her breath was shaky, mouth dry as she gulped in mouthfuls of air. It never seemed like enough, her head tilted back, vision blurring worse than before. She needed to find Hyejoo. Now.

With that in mind, weakly, she pulled herself out of the window, landing safely on the grass beneath her. Kneeling there, Chaewon gripped onto the grass for dear life. "Y-Yeojin..." She exhaled, barely audibly. "I'll find you. I promise." As her vision blackened completely and her ears rang loud, her body collapsed limp on the ground.

\---

Chaewon woke up to the sound of a spoon mixing coffee in a porcelain cup. "Good morning, sweetie," the voice clashed oddly through her ears, eyes still working to adjust the person in front of her. Chaewon threw a hand on top of her head, she had a terrible migraine. Her head hurt as she tried to recall the events from yesterday, curious as to why she couldn't remember. She needed to find Yeojin, that's all she could see clearly. She needed to find her and needed to find her _quickly._

"N-no," Chaewon said, fear consuming her, realizing she was back home. "Go away, mom... I need... To find... Yeojin," Her voice was groggy and shaky, but her mom showed no sign of remorse as she continued stirring her coffee. There was no point in it, she never added sugar or cream, there was no point except to let the sound ring harshly in Chaewon's ears.

"You're being silly," she laughed, sipping her coffee. It feels so familiar, but something- something Chaewon couldn't put her finger on- felt so off.

"What happened, mom?" Chaewon's heart rate picked up, watching her mom walk over to sit beside Chaewon on the couch.

"You had a bad, _bad_ dream..." She rubbed Chaewon's head slowly, gently. "You're okay now..." But for some reason, Chaewon _didn't_ feel okay. She felt scared beside her, this woman she could barely call her mother. This inhumane, unloving creature who made a deal with the devil to torture Chaewon's life, to make sure every living second of it was a fucking nightmare, was _not_ her mom. And even if she was, which, technically, yes, she is, she'll never be the mom Chaewon _loves._

"You're... You're not telling me something..." Chaewon said, slowly. She was cautious with her words, since she could barely remember how evil the person feigning comfort towards Chaewon could get. She barely remembered _anything_ , now that she tried to think about it. "What- What happened?! Tell me!"

"Chaewon, calm do-"

"DON'T you tell me to calm down," Chaewon growled, sitting up and ripping her mother's hands off her. "You... You did something... And I might not know what it is, but I promise you, when I get my fucking opportunity, I _will_ get away from you. I won't have to see your fucking sickening face ever again, you're a sorry excuse for a mother."

"You're being delusional. I love you," her mom smiled, but something inside Chaewon made her frown in disbelief. Her fists unconsciously clenched, jaw tightening as she stared at her mother.

"And I may not remember you well... but I _do_ know that I _don't_. I _don't_ fucking love you," Chaewon said through gritted teeth. And with that, her fist clashed against her mother's cheek, causing her body to fall onto the carpet. The heap of anger boiling in Chaewon's system wouldn't let her stop, she was still angry, still wanted her mother to pay. How dare she put Chaewon through years upon years of suffering? How dare she lay her hands on her child in a way no mother should ever? How fucking _dare_ she say, that even after all this time, every hit and cuss directed towards Chaewon, that she _fucking loves her?_

Before her mother could get up, Chaewon straddled her legs on top of her and buckled them around her mother's knees so that she couldn't get up. " _This_ ," Chaewon said, bringing another fist to her mother's face. "Is for thinking you could get away with hurting me all those years," It was coming back to Chaewon as she brought her fist down to her mother's face, feeling little remorse. What she was doing is _nothing_ compared to the years of physical and emotional abuse Chaewon's mom had put her through. Chaewon wasn't sorry, not even when she brought her fists down to punch at her mother's stomach. "And _this_ ," Chaewon grunted with another hit. "Is for lying straight to my face every time, making me think that somewhere in that _shallow, dead_ heart, you actually loved me. I even hoped you loved me _a little_ , even the tiniest _sliver_ , and that's the only fucking reason why I never left you," the words Chaewon spat didn't even seem to affect her mother, as if she knew what Chaewon was saying had been right.

"Get off me, you dumb brat!" Her mother yelled, bruises forming all over her face. Her nose was bleeding down her face, dropping onto the carpet as well. She brought both of her hands to Chaewon's waist, trying to pry her off.

"Agh!" Chaewon yelled out in response, her mother's fingernails digging into her skin. She wouldn't give up the fight, trying her best to keep all her weight shifted onto her mother's body. She scratched at her mother's hands, but she wouldn't let go. "Let go!!" Chaewon yelled, hissing in pain when her mother brought her hand under Chaewon's shirt and clawed at her stomach. Red marks trailed down her chest to the button of her pants, her mother continuing to scratch her until her stomach was bright red. Chaewon brought her hand to her mother's arm, trying to pull it off. But her mother only found the chance to grab at Chaewon's shoulder, pulling her down until she was lying flat on top of her mother.

Her mother wrapped an arm around Chaewon's waist, her other arm holding Chaewon's head down in the crook of her neck. Chaewon was wailing, balling her eyes out as her mother held her tight. She kicked her feet to try and hurt her mother, but it didn't work. And soon enough, her legs became too weak, collapsing like jelly on top of her mother's. _God damnit_ , Chaewon sobbed, tears falling onto her mother's shoulder. She can't believe her mother won again.

"Shhh," her mother hushed her with fake care, hand rubbing the small of Chaewon's back. Chaewon screamed, using the last of her might to do whatever she could against her mother. Her breathing was heavy and shaky, taking slow, rapid heaves into her lungs. She shut her eyes tight, listening to her mom murmur some shit she didn't believe for a second, finding the fuel inside her burning again. Slowly, so her mom didn't notice, she inched her arm up to the coffee table, taking hold of the porcelain cup in her shaky hand. She brought it to her side quietly, opening her eyes as she watched her mother stare in the distance as she whispered.

"...You aren't alright, you need to rest... Of course your mother loves you, I was... worried... when you left... I love you..."

Chaewon sniffed, "Hey mom..?"

"Yes?" Her mother answered, looking back at Chaewon.

" _I love you_ ," Chaewon mocked her mother, using the same feigning voice she did whenever she said she loved Chaewon. And with that, she brought the coffee cup to her mother's face, watching the cup shatter into millions of pieces, the remnants of coffee splashing onto her face. Quickly, Chaewon stood up, standing above her mom as she watched blood quietly drip from her mother's face. She was definitely unconscious, but to make sure of that, Chaewon poked her body with her foot. When she didn't react, she squatted over her to check for a pulse. _Yep._

Before her mother could regain consciousness, Chaewon quickly ran into her room and slipped on her shoes, looking for her backpack, which was still full of her stuff. She ran to the front door, seeing her bag on a jacket hanger, slipped it on, and ran outside. She made a promise to herself after that, to never return home again.

Now, she had to find Hyejoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> miss chaewon snapped...
> 
> sorry if you didn't like this chapter, i was just in my angst zone™ next chapter will be better and a little less angsty i promise djsjsksks


	3. three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as promised, a venomous update in celebration of getting the haseul teaser (lmao)
> 
> i only spent a day on this update so yeah it's lowkey boring but hey ,,, u can have it anyway
> 
> it's fast at the beginning because i wanted to write a certain scene lmao

Hyejoo had no clue where she was going. She felt hopeless, absolutely hopeless as her feet dragged along the pavement with little energy left. She couldn't sleep, could barely close her eyes for more than a second because of the intrusive thoughts in her head. Her eyes were red from tiring them out by crying so much, throat coarse and burning. Turning back seemed like an option she should have taken a long time ago.

But no, she wasn't going to turn back and she wasn't going to sleep and she wasn't going to do fucking anything knowing her sister is in danger. Her mind wasn't working right, so blurry and pixelated, thinking of everything yet nothing at once. What the fuck was she even feeling right now? Everything felt somewhat odd, her skin crawling in disgusting ways.

Okay, maybe she needed sleep. Badly.

Whining, she almost immediately dropped herself to the ground, losing the battle to her mind that told her to keep going. She laid on the grass of a field that she doesn't think she's ever seen before. The cars zooming past each other could be heard in the distance, as Hyejoo so desperately tried to fall asleep.

_Sleep, you idiot._ She closed her eyes tighter, eyebrows furrowing in concentration.

_But what if you don't find Yeojin?_

"Fucking stop." She hit her forehead for the obsessive thinking, but as she laid there, doing absolutely nothing to find her sister, a sick twinge of guilt and fear struck her stomach. Growling angrily, she sat up again, clutching the strands of hair at her scalp.

"Fuck!" She yelled, eyes stinging so fucking badly. Her body curled in on itself as emotions took over her, something unidentifiable running through her veins and telling her to turn back. _You're nothing without Chaewon anyway._

"No.. No, that's a lie," she muttered to herself as she responded to her thoughts, the air feeling like it was getting thinner. Suddenly, as if on instinct, she jolted up to her feet and ran, ran as fast and as far as she could from whatever that disgusting feeling in her stomach was. She didn't need Chaewon. She didn't. She fucking didn't, she knows it. Not in a million years would she _ever_ need Chaewon.

Her body was tired but her feet felt alive, slamming harshly against the ground with each viscous sprint forward. All she could hear was the brutal wind she was creating from her speed, causing her eyes to swell.

She didn't know where the fuck she was going. That's the only thing she knew anymore, that she _didn't know anything_. Because at this point, she barely even knew how to breathe properly. Barely knew how to escape her thoughts, how to chase epiphany until it sadistically warped into a twisted fate of reality. She wanted to feel anything right now, anything other than the gut feeling that made her want to throw her insides up until nothing but her aching heart remained. Her aching heart that held guilt so dearly, her aching heart that prioritized everyone else over herself.

She never knew what was right for herself. Never knew what she wanted or how to make herself happy. Because her entire life, all she was ever met with was discipline and a happily ever after that never came to be. Jesus, _fuck_ , all Hyejoo was, was a disappointment. How the fuck could she just lose her sister so easily? How could she let her slip out of her hands just like that, without a single word? What if she really is dead? Would it be Hyejoo's fault? She should have protected her, she knew it. She knew something bigger was happening when Yeojin hid all those nights, never explaining an actual reason as to _why_ she did so. It was her fault. It was her fucking _fault_.

Her fault her family didn't love her the way she wanted them to. Her fault Yeojin was always closed off with her. Her fault that the most important person in her life left her. Her fault the most important person in her life fucking _hates her._

Of course, maybe _now_ she wasn't the most important, but back then... It fucking _hurt_. And there was this certain agony brought within the pain that stabbed her in the chest without hesitation, an agony that wanted you to know and remember all the deceitful smiles, compliments, fond times, tears, laughter, lifetime with each other no matter how painful it was to remember. An agony that wanted you to suffer with the pain of knowing the one you held so dearly, platonic or romantically, didn't give a shit about you. To know they don't care about you the way you do to them. The way that fucking sting could bruise your heart, your mind, fucking _everything_ until you're reduced to someone who feared opening up and being emotionally vulnerable was _sick_.

Hyejoo could try and try to love her body- in fact, she isn't exactly bothered by her looks- but her body never loved her back. The only good thing it allowed her to do anymore was live, but right now, was it even a fucking good thing?

Stress ate her alive as her feet began to give out, slowly coming to a stop after what must have been a mile. Looking around, she realized that- yet again- she was in an unfamiliar place. Groaning, she covered her face with her palms and sat onto the pavement beneath her. The road was silent and practically abandoned, so Hyejoo felt okay sitting there in the middle of it.

With a heavy sigh, she felt her shoulders drop as if a weight has been placed on them. Her eyelids drooped slowly, not even fighting with herself before deciding, _it's okay to sleep. Do something for yourself. You haven't done that for a while._

Her head met the palm of her hand as she held it up tiredly, neck going limp into it as she drifted into sleep. She wanted to escape reality. Wanted to get at least, at _least_ a few minutes away from herself. Away from her past. Away from her thoughts. And instead, be in the picturesque world, where, maybe, she didn't have to worry anymore. Where she had someone.... something... her thoughts became blurry as she was escorted into dreamland.

_Chaewon's hand fit perfectly in her own._

_It was like two puzzle pieces finally being put together. It felt right for their hands to interlock, for Hyejoo's thumb to trace circles into the back of Chaewon's hand. Everything felt ideal._

_This world... it felt so familiar. But at the same time, so unreachable. Almost too good to be true. But Hyejoo wasn't going to be caught complaining, still confused as to how she suddenly was by Chaewon's side, in a place she didn't exactly know of._

_"Where are we?" Hyejoo asked, looking at the girl sitting next to her. They were sitting on a couch, Chaewon's head resting on Hyejoo's shoulder. The couch struck Hyejoo's memory somewhere, along with the coffee table in front of them. It was warm. There was a fire in the wood stove that kept its heat radiating across the room. But isn't it summer?_

_On instinct, her head turned towards the window, and, to her surprise, snow fell from the clouds above and crystallized onto any surface they'd land on, even the window itself becoming icy. Experimentally, Hyejoo's free hand moved up to touch the window, immediately moving back to her side as she felt the freezing cold move across her palm. Looking down at her hand, she saw a thin, almost transparent layer of icy blue on her palm, melting away quickly as she stared at it._

_"Th-Thank you for visiting..." Chaewon's voice rose shakily. You could hear how cold she was, how even her words shivered. Looking back over to the girl, Hyejoo caught sight of her shivering, leaning closer into Hyejoo's warmth. "I was so cold... Without you here.."_

_"Huh?" Hyejoo's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. But seeing Chaewon like that in front of her struck something inside of Hyejoo. To her luck, a neatly folded blanket rested at her side. It was a sweet, light purple color, with pompoms at its edges. Grabbing it, she brought it over to where Chaewon could see it._

_Chaewon studied the blanket for a short time before muttering, "That's yours."_

_"What do you mean?" It didn't look familiar at all to Hyejoo. She felt Chaewon's cold breath hit her neck every time she spoke. She knew that Chaewon must have been freezing, she didn't like seeing her shiver. Something inside her wanted to protect her, to shield her from the cold outdoors. "I am warm. You should take it."_

_"You left it here last time," Chaewon's voice was delicate, almost tired-sounding._

_"Last time?"_

_Chaewon laughed, "We go over this every time, don't we?" She rested her chin on Hyejoo's shoulder to look her in the eyes. Chaewon's eyes were so wide, even puppy-like. So pretty and welcoming as they looked into Hyejoo's dark and confused orbs. "But it's okay. If it meant to see you I would explain it a hundred times all over again," Chaewon smiled softly, making Hyejoo's cheeks paint with a pink blush. Hyejoo felt Chaewon's hand- the one she wasn't holding- move to caress her cheek with a barely-there touch._

_"Tell me," Hyejoo whispered breathlessly, less of a demand and more of a curious excitement eager to collect information. Hyejoo's eyes closed as she heard Chaewon emit a soft giggle, her hand leaving Hyejoo's cheek all too soon._

_"Ever since I was born, I knew about you. Even when you didn't know about me. I don't know how but... I just felt you. Felt your presence," Chaewon explained carefully, eyes closing as she remembered every second of it. "I thought you were fake. I thought you were my imagination. So I never listened to my gut when it told me to find you. To find you, before it was too late." Her eyebrows knitted together at the memory, eyes still closed. Hyejoo still looked down at her, finding it so easy to admire her beauty. She was exactly like the Chaewon that felt familiar in her mind as she thought of it. Felt so familiar, she just didn't know from where. She slipped out of her mind slowly as this Chaewon continued talking. She thinks she remembers the other Chaewon having blonde hair, unlike the charcoal black of the girl who cuddled up to her._

_"I never understood the never-ending storm outside," Chaewon's eyes opened as she looked out the window behind them, head still leaning on Hyejoo's shoulder. "Never understood why it wouldn't just go away. I've only ever dreamed about this summer I've heard so much about..." Her voice trailed off, eyes saddening as she sighed. "So I decided to test my luck. I was determined to stop this winter. But as I went outside, I saw something I've never seen before," Chaewon recalled each second of the memories she explained, eyes moving back to meet Hyejoo's._

_"An apple tree. There was only one left. I remembered hearing an old wives tale.. one about two girls who wanted to escape this place, so rebelling against God, they took a bite of the forbidden fruit. I've heard of its delicacies, how, supposedly, the two girls escaped that way." Hyejoo hummed in interest, recalling this tale as well, listening to Chaewon as she continued. "But before I could reach it, I felt... I felt," Chaewon struggled to find the right word. "This- This pain in my chest, like something froze inside of it. It was like the snow outside had found its way to my heart and took shelter there, freezing it and taking over my body." She put a hand to her chest as if to feel the ice inside._

_"I barely made it back inside the house. I thought, for sure, that that was going to be it. That I was going to die. I was prepared for death, because, certainly, it would be less painful. But instead, that night, I heard my door open. And it was odd, especially considering I am the only one living here. A part of me believed it was death, coming to greet me and take me to the ground and just kill me already, but instead... I saw this beautiful, almost confused girl." Hyejoo almost felt a pang of jealousy at that, but continued to listen anyway._

_"She was so kind. So sweet. And I instantly knew, that girl was going to be the one who ruined me. The girl who would make me wish she never came here. But... She stayed with me. The entire night. She held me close and told me things I've never heard before. Things about... about cars and restaurants and cities. She made my cold heart finally feel warm," Chaewon's lips formed a fond smile. "And each time she came back, I felt a little warmer each time. And I felt that even if this ice in my chest never melts, the feelings I felt for her would always be stronger and warmer than the frost."_

_"What was her name?" Hyejoo asked, curiosity eating her alive._

_Chaewon grinned, looking into the girl's eyes. "Hyejoo."_

_Hyejoo felt herself grow redder than she already was, her heart feeling an odd warmth at Chaewon's words. She continued staring into Chaewon's eyes, a fire building inside her that begged to just kiss her. To taste her lips, even for a second. And she didn't even realize how her head slowly leaned in at the thoughts, lips parting slightly. Their skin was so close to touching, Hyejoo could feel coldness radiating onto her face._

_Hyejoo's hot breath hit Chaewon's lips, their breathing synchronized and heavy as they stared at each other's lips, only centimeters apart. There were a million thoughts running through Chaewon's mind, a soft blush finding her cheeks as she moved impossibly closer, but so that their lips still only hovered over one another's. All she wanted was to kiss her. Just once. Just one time and it would be enough. She'd be satisfied, even if they never saw each other again._

_She knew she shouldn't. She knew that once their lips touched and the ecstasy ran through her veins and intense emotions go through her brain, the ice inside her chest would spread all throughout her body until her every inch inside of her was coursing with ice, incompletely frozen. She knew this. She was aware of the consequences of love to her body. But Hyejoo didn't. And she didn't want to tell her, either._

_More than anything, she wanted to kiss Hyejoo. And maybe... Maybe it would be worth it. To know she ended happily in the one she love's arms, kissing her lips. Tears filled her eyes, going unnoticed by Hyejoo as Chaewon placed her hands in Hyejoo's hair, playing with the nape of her neck softly. Looking at Hyejoo's eyes, she inhaled deeply before removing the space between them, an electric shock sparking ignition in her veins as she gained the courageous to place her lips upon Hyejoo's._

_Her eyes closed tightly as her lips attached passionately onto Hyejoo's, trying to show her love through the action. It was slow, pulling away shortly for air from time to time as she showed her emotion through their locked lips. Hyejoo took a second to register what was happening, not knowing exactly how Chaewon started kissing her or what her own name was, only remembering Chaewon's name now. Her lips connected back to Chaewon's with each kiss, picking up pace every time. Chaewon pulled away for a brief second, foreheads resting against each other's and inhaling each other's heavy breaths._

_"I love you," Chaewon muttered onto Hyejoo's lips. The moment felt so real, so driven by something other than desire.. driven by something she didn't know of. Driven by something that felt utopian._

_Tears slid down Chaewon's cheeks as she felt the cold in her chest spread to her stomach, freezing this euphoric feeling in her gut forever. She smiled into the kiss. Now she can feel this feeling forever, how it felt like to be with Hyejoo. She could feel the ice shooting through her veins as it slowly coursed its way down Chaewon's legs to her feet._

_Quickly, she pulled away, head starting to hurt. "I love you so much," Chaewon said, feeling ice begin to crawl its way up her throat._

_"What- What's happening?" Hyejoo panicked, worry written in her expression as she watched Chaewon's face warp into a sad smile, tears evident on the apples of her cheeks, creating streams of emotion that Hyejoo wanted to wipe away, but she felt like she couldn't move._

_"I'm so sorry," she muttered, feeling the ice's freeze crawl into every crevice of her body. And finally, she could escape this pain she's been living with for so long, she could escape it with a smile on her face, her love for Hyejoo in that moment being frozen forever in time, for Chaewon to always feel endlessly. She felt her heart being swallowed completely by the ice, looking deeply into Hyejoo's teary eyes._

_She used the last of her living energy to involuntarily emit a smile, knowing she got to die feeling loved by Hyejoo. She was so happy. Happier than ever before. As consciousness slipped away from her, she knew what love was. She finally knew what it felt like to love someone so much, you would die for them. Finally, she felt her heart erupt emotions inside her chest, trying her hardest to stay alive for even a second more to see Hyejoo say what she wanted her to say._

_But the ice was too strong, overpowering her will as a tear that only got to stream halfway down her face solidified into ice. 'It's okay,' she told herself. 'I can feel it. I can feel how she loves me.'_

_"No," Hyejoo cried, shaking Chaewon's body as tears filled and left her eyes. She wasn't sure why she felt so strongly about Chaewon, especially considering she could barely remember her. "Please, don't let this be it. Don't let this be the end," she sniffed, holding Chaewon's body close to her own._

_Loud sobs escaped her mouth as she realized that was the last of this girl she was ever going to see. Even if she felt like a stranger, Hyejoo believed Chaewon's story. That they do know each other. Because somehow, her presence seemed so familiar. Wiping her eyes, she looked out the window._

_"I will find you," Hyejoo promised to the girl. "In another world, I will find you. And I promise, I will love you," she looked back at Chaewon, kissing her forehead lightly before running to the front door, the one that led her to the storm outside. She could barely see from the flurries of white and howling wind in front of her, but she marched down the steps anyway and ran to a bright red fruit hanging from the branch of a tree._

_Quickly taking hold of it, she bit into it, waiting for whatever was going to happen to come already._

_"I promise you, Chaewon."_

Bolting up from where she laid, she blinked, looking around. She touched her head, feeling as if she had a bad migraine. She was in the backseat of an unfamiliar car, a woman driving that she couldn't exactly see. "You're up now, huh?" She heard the woman mutter.

"Uhh," Hyejoo stuttered. "Yeah. Who are you?"

The woman turned her head so that Hyejoo could get a better look at her.

" _Haseul_?!" Hyejoo almost yelled, confused as to why her older sister has her in the back seat of her car. "Aren't you supposed to be in college?!"

"It's the weekend, dumbass," Haseul spoke, eyes going back to the road. "And aren't you supposed to be... You know.. _Not_ in the middle of a road?"

Hyejoo rolled her eyes, crossing her arms, "Why the fuck are you driving on an abandoned road?"

"Maybe because I got a call from someone on that road complaining about some twelve-year-old girl sleeping on the goddamn road."

"I AM NOT TWELVE," Hyejoo protested, causing Haseul to laugh. "How did they know your number, anyway?"

"Old friend," Haseul replied nonchalantly, taking a bite of an apple that sat in a napkin in the cup holder. There were various coffee cups, receipts, and wrappers left in Haseul's car, making it smell like the average broke college kid.

Hyejoo kept looking at that apple. Something felt so familiar about it. She studied it for a while but shrugged it off in the end, _must be déjà vu_. "Where are we going?"

"Home."

"Huh?!" Hyejoo jumped in her seat, eyes widening. "But- but- Yeojin!"

"What about her?" Haseul's expression only grew more confused.

"She's missing, you dimwit!" Hyejoo reached forward to flick her older sister.

"Hey!" Haseul shouted, trying to swat Hyejoo's hand away. "Watch it or I will throw you out of this car and force you to walk home."

Sighing, Hyejoo sat back in her seat as they drove quietly. The radio played some boring old people music as they began going onto streets that started to look familiar to Hyejoo again. Looking out the window, it was mainly only trees and stop signs that she saw, not even about to think twice when she saw Chaewon walking down- Wait-

_Why is Chaewon here?_

"Stop!" Hyejoo yelled, bringing Haseul's car to an abrupt stop. After a mini panic attack, Haseul looked back at Hyejoo angrily.

"Are you kidding me, you- Agh!" She grunted in anger. "Why did I stop the fucking-"

Interrupting Haseul's hate speech, Hyejoo left the car, slamming the door on her way out as she ran to Chaewon. Suddenly, that red apple Haseul are earlier came back to her memory as she ran to the girl, not sure as to why, though.

"Chae!" Hyejoo yelled as she neared the girl, causing Chaewon to turn her head in that direction.

"Hyejoo?"

For some reason, Hyejoo's first instinct when she ran up to Chaewon was to wrap her in a big hug, spinning around. Chaewon looked beyond confused when Hyejoo happily pulled away from the hug, smiling at Chaewon. Suddenly, it all clicked in Hyejoo's mind.

The dream.

The girl in the dream.

The kiss.

The promise.

Somehow, even if it was only a dream, she felt entitled to her words. But... really? Could she ever fall in love with _this_ Chaewon? Would Hyejoo even get Chaewon to fall in love with her in the first place?

The girl who betrayed her trust, who turned her back on Hyejoo when she knew she had no one else. The girl who found someone else so quickly, the girl who moved on from their friendship like it was nothing.

She was starting to feel lucky it was just a dream.

"..What are you doing."

"What?" Hyejoo shook her head to enter reality again. "Oh," she mumbled when she looked back up at Chaewon.

And when she looked into her eyes, she saw the brightness of those that belonged to the Chaewon in her dream. She saw the pretty color of her irises, the curve of her lips- god, she felt flustered looking at her lips again- everything about her. The only difference was the hair.

Well... They say dreams are based on reality, right?

That wouldn't be right, though. Hyejoo doesn't love Chaewon. Why would she, after all the loneliness she's struck upon Hyejoo when they were younger, leaving to never seek to return again. Until she did. And the puzzle began piecing together again.

The first time she had that dream, the night she ruined Chaewon's car. The night everything in her world seemed to crumble apart, the night Hyejoo knew that in this situation, she was definitely the bad guy. She remembered seeing her, but never remembering her afterwards. This was the first time she remembered everything that took place in that stupid fucking dream.

She promised to love Chaewon, no matter what form it was in. And looking at the girl in front of her right now, a sense of familiarity hit her. She kind of wanted to bash her head into a wall, knowing that the girl she kissed in that dream was quite literally based off the girl she was supposed to despise most.

Oh, how badly she wanted to tell herself it was just a dream. But even thinking that phrase hurt her heart.

She wanted to leave and go find Yeojin on her own, but even she herself knew that was practically an impossible idea at this point. She knew she was going to feel really uncomfortable with Chaewon now. But no matter what, she had to get Yeojin back.

_Just disregard it. For all you know, that dream never happened_ , she smiled to herself, stepping a small distance away from Chaewon. "I think... I need some help."

Chaewon smiled at that, it was basically Hyejoo admitting defeat. "So you _do_ need me after all, huh?" She smiled stupidly wide seeing how Hyejoo rolled her eyes at that. "Cute."

"Okay, okay... But this time... We probably need a plan. And my sister," Hyejoo pointed out.

"Yeah, of course we're going to need your sister, dumbass," Chaewon sighed at Hyejoo's stupidity.

"Not that sister, idiot. _This_ sister," Hyejoo motioned her hand to Haseul's car.

"Oh." Now it was Chaewon's turn to sigh at her own stupidity.

"So..?" Hyejoo waited.

"What?"

Rolling her eyes, Hyejoo grabbed hold of Chaewon's wrist and dragged her to Haseul's car.

"I don't get in strangers' cars-"

"Shut the fuck up and get in," Hyejoo barked.

Groaning, Chaewon took the seat furthest to the left so she didn't have to sit directly next to Hyejoo. "Where are we going?"

Hyejoo looked over to Haseul, who was still confused. "Why is Chae-"

"Long story," Hyejoo dismissed. "But even longer story; Yeojin is missing. Don't ask how cause I don't know either."

Chaewon sat frozen in her seat. _She knew_. But she didn't know if Hyejoo was ready to hear it yet. She knew it would absolutely crush her, each and every one of her hopes would shatter to pieces regarding Yeojin's safety, and she didn't want to see Hyejoo in such a panicked state ever again. Something inside of her hated seeing her like that. She bit the inside of her cheek as she listened to Hyejoo explain the story to Haseul, leaving out the bits that only Chaewon knew.

Guilt was tearing up her gut, churning it until she felt sick, but there was no way she was going to say anything. All she had to do was sit back, stay there for a little, and keep her mouth-

"I know where Yeojin is." Chaewon breathed heavily as if she had just confessed the most unacceptable sin to a priest. "Someone took her."

There was no feeling quite as world crumbling as this. Hyejoo's hands began to shake, lips trembling with unspoken words, every wrong and sick possible scenario running through her mind. She struggled to catch her own breath, cheeks being met with salty tears as she screamed painfully, louder than she thought was ever possible. She screamed and screamed until it felt like she was going to cough up her lungs, screamed until her voice wouldn't let her scream anymore. This toll, this fucking roll it took to Hyejoo's heart, blocking anyone or anything from reaching her. Because it was so painful, more painful than anything imaginable to know you've killed your sister, and even if she didn't, if Yeojin isn't dead, she still caused this. Somehow. She was sure of it. Every fucking bad thing was correlated to her somehow. Everything wrong happened because of her. Her fucking chest would never forgive her for this, not any time soon.

Chaewon wanted to facepalm herself. _Stupid. Why would you say that?_ Seeing Hyejoo like this again made Chaewon feel so _guilty_. She didn't know what to do, didn't know how to comfort her, didn't know why the fuck she even said that in the first place. But she knew that if she didn't, they'd get nowhere in the long run. Trying to comfort her, she pulled out a blanket from her backpack, placing it over Hyejoo comfortably.

Looking down at it, Hyejoo immediately recognized the pompoms and lilac color from her stupid fucking dream. _You have to be fucking kidding me._

\---

Somehow, they all found themselves seated in Yeojin's room, looking into her journal as both of her sisters were crying.

"But- But.." Hyejoo tried to speak, sobs getting the best of her. "This isn't true. It's not right. I'm sorry, but this isn't Yeojin. She doesn't journal, i-it can't be..."

"I..." Chaewon took in a deep breath, utilizing time. "We need to go on the dark web."

"Excuse me?" Haseul chimed in, her tears more of anger than they were of sadness. She was so frustrated her little sister could slip away so easily, and not even her parents batted an eye. This was so fucking wrong. "I'm the oldest of us all, so I decide what we're doing. And you two are _not_ going on the dark web."

"We need to!" Hyejoo pleaded, teary eyes looking into Haseul's. "She's a f-fucking brat, yeah, but.. We... You- Jesus, what the fuck- _we have to_."

Haseul stared darkly into her younger sister's eyes, searching for any chance of uncertainty. But when she couldn't find it, she sighed, giving into the burning flames that seduced to the dark idea of finding Yeojin. " _You_ won't. _I_ will," she expressed sternly.

"Wh-" Hyejoo was about to protest, but decided against it as she saw the anger in Haseul's face. She watched as Haseul instantly unlocked Yeojin's phone and went to her browser history, her email, everything. Her eyes scanned each page with lots of focus, biting her tongue in concentration. It fucking hurt to know your sister is missing. But there was no way in hell they weren't going to find her. Haseul was going to make absolute sure of it.

"And then Hyejoo and I will go get her?" Chaewon questioned, still watching as Haseul clicked through tabs opened the day this dark web shit started haunting her. She heard Hyejoo scoff at that.

"I'm not going with you."

"Okay.. what's with the sudden grudge?" Chaewon moved her attention towards Hyejoo, but even then, Hyejoo wouldn't look at her.

"How long have you been hiding this from me?" Hyejoo's voice raised, a slight growl in her tone. She felt her eyes well up again but fought the tears away, not sure if she was crying over Chaewon or Yeojin at this point. She clutched the blanket that had been wrapped around her since she was in the car, despite it reminding her of surely insignificant things right now.

"What the fuck? Literally as soon as I found out I went to fucking look for you and tell you, ungrateful bi-"

"Why didn't you fucking bring us to her then?" Hyejoo's fists balled up as they held the blanket tight, trying to convince herself there wasn't Chaewon's scent on it, the one that struck her as familiar from the dream.

"Why didn't I- _Oh_ , why didn't _I_ do anything... Hahah, haha.... Fucking _funny_. If I didn't give two shits do you think I would have walked for fucking hours to find you??? Even if I knew it was practically hopeless? I never fucking said _I'm going to bring you to Yeojin!!_ fucking _did I_. All I fucking do is try to help and you just give me shit about it. Okay," Chaewon huffed, crossing her arms.

"Liar," Hyejoo scoffed. "Always have been a liar. I should have known."

"Please remind me when I lied to you," Chaewon growled, getting aggravated by Hyejoo. She's just throwing words and saying whatever she can, just like fucking _always_. She can't even remember a recent event where she's lied to her.

" _I'll be by your side forever blah blah blah I'll help you survive your teenage years! We're best friends!_ Do I need to go on?" Hyejoo was getting tired of arguing with her, but there was no way she was wrong. Chaewon always lied. And it's not exactly something you forget when they promised they'd be there for you only to be betrayed by them not long after.

It hurt. It still hurts.

"Are you being serious?" Chaewon sincerely asked. "You moved on too. It was inevitable. Considering where we're at right now, do you honestly fucking think we were going to be friends forever?"

Hyejoo's heart stilled hearing that. "You promised."

Chaewon laughed bitterly at her stupidity. "I lied."

It almost pained Chaewon to say those words. But more than that, it _bruised_ Hyejoo.

"Every time you said I was your best friend... you lied?"

"Mhm," Chaewon nodded.

Hyejoo sighed. Of course she lied. She shouldn't have expected otherwise. But even then, through all their tricks and thins, laughs and cries, stories shared and memories made... it felt incomplete. Like the novel was only half-written, the climax always seeming so close you could grasp it, but always tumbling down before you could reach it. It felt like there was something missing, but in all reality, the story had to end somewhere. And in Hyejoo's case, she guessed it was here.

"You don't need to help anymore," Hyejoo's voice was soft as she folded the blanket that was just around her. "I think Haseul and I got it from here." She spoke genuinely but the hurt was still evident in her voice.

Sighing defeatedly, Chaewon closed her eyes. "Do you believe in dreams?"

Hyejoo's eyes widened at the question, pausing her movements. Her mouth opened, but no words came out. Remembering her dream from today, she wasn't exactly sure what to say.

"Like," Chaewon rephrased. "how they.. have... meanings. That they're purposeful. Do you think we should believe in them?"

Hyejoo thought about it for a second. "Yeah. I mean... they have to be there for a reason, right? Why would your brain just create stimuli on its own? It would have to use some based on what's already there... And then I guess you can pick apart the details and create some meaning? I dunno. I'm not a neurologist or anything. I'm just not the person to ask. Why?"

Chaewon hummed. "Just asking."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sometimes i accidentally read 'dark web' as 'dark weeb'
> 
> anyway i want to make a kind of love triangle fic, where jinsoul likes sooyoung and sooyoung likes jungeun and jungeun likes jinsoul. idk if/when i'll publish it but it's called "bad liar" as of now
> 
> anyway i just have really high standards for my updates and i'm sorry if this was disappointing, the next one will be better!!


	4. four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fiRST OF ALL I DIDNT EDIT THIS LMAO SO SORRY FOR ANY ERRORS... SECOND OF ALL THIS CHAPTER IS SO SHORT... but i promise next chapter will be a lot longer and more eventful!!

Hyejoo woke up tangled between blankets and a pair of arms and legs that enveloped her body in a koala hug, skin feeling warm and slightly damp from sweat. Scrunching her face, she turned to see who was hugging her, blinking at the sleeping figure who's body- _of course_ \- belonged to Chaewon.

With a long, drawn-out sigh, Hyejoo pushed herself out from Chaewon's limbs the best she could without waking her up, glancing over to the only source of illumination in the dark room; which happened to be Haseul's face lit up by the screen of a laptop.

"Haseul?" Hyejoo whispered, looking back over at Chaewon to make sure she didn't wake her up.

"Mh," Haseul hummed, fingers working quickly against the keyboard.

Hyejoo watched Haseul's emotionless face, oozing concentration and intelligence, as her eyes moved rapidly as she read what was displayed on the screen. Curiously, she scooted over to sit next to Haseul, wondering as to what she was so focused on. "What are you doing?" She asked, laying her weary head on Haseul's shoulder.

"I could ask you the same thing," Haseul mumbled, fingers stopping for a short second as her eyes moved to the time at the corner of the screen. "It's almost two in the morning."

Hyejoo bit back the yawn threatening to escape her body, feigning wakefulness. "I'm not tired."

"You have school today," Haseul informed.

"And?"

"And," Haseul began, looking away from her laptop to stare at her little sister. "You need your sleep. As much as I absolutely _love_ you being by my side to annoy me," Haseul said, sarcasm dripping off her tongue, "you really need to bring up your grades. Getting rest would be a good start."

Hyejoo could almost laugh at that, "Me? Good grades? In which dimension?"

"This one, if you cared enough."

"Well, I don't. School has become more of a construct based off the letter of your grade and brings more value to your test scores than it does your actual knowledge to the subject. I know enough to make it into this world, I know enough to know I'm not even gonna use half this shit in my future," Hyejoo declared.

"You're being dramatic," Haseul claimed, taking Hyejoo's head off her shoulder so she could look her in the eye. "School is more than grades, you know. And anyway your grade isn't just some number that ranks your educational usefulness, it's a reflection of what you have learned from the lectures you've been given and how well that knowledge has stuck with you. School isn't just any other thing, it's the base of your life, because once you get out of it, that's what your future will depend on; everything you've learned until that moment."

"But why does it have to be like that?" Hyejoo asked. "Why does our future have to depend on how well we've done in school? That's like telling all the kids with learning disabilities that they might as well give up now because their future apparently holds little for them-"

"Hyejoo, that's not what I-"

"You can't convince me of something I stand strongly against. I'm not against school- but I am against the way we go about it. There is so much room for improvement and it's so dumb that we do nothing about it. The education hasn't changed much since it's been brought about. What the fuck is that about? Why are we still using this outdated system that shows a clear bias towards the mentally unchallenged when there is so much more we could be doing with the way our schools operate today? It's so dumb. And if I'm just an upset teenager for complaining about it, so be it. I'm tired of my opinion meaning less just because of my age."

Haseul remained quiet for a minute, pursing her lips in thought, but ending up with nothing. Sighing, she agreed, "It may seem like that. Trust me. But one day, you'll see how far school has brought you. But please, Hyejoo. Get some rest. You need it, okay? I know you're stressed- I am, too- but it's too late for you to still be up and afraid."

"I'm not afraid," Hyejoo barged in, defending herself. "I'm just worried."

"Don't look me in the eyes and lie straight to my face. This is Yeojin we're talking about. I've known you longer than you've known yourself. You're always too scared of your emotions. But Hyejoo, it's _okay_ to be vulnerable sometimes and let people in. You don't have to shut everyone out," Haseul shook her head, placing a hand on Hyejoo's shoulder. "Not everyone is going to disappoint you. Not everyone will want to hurt you."

Hyejoo felt her eyes start to sting but quickly willed herself to replace the sadness with rage, because that way Haseul wouldn't get to see her at her weakest. At her most vulnerable. What Haseul was saying was absolute nonsense. In this day, no one has pure intentions anymore. Living in a corrupt society run by those who are barely capable of holding power with maturity, everyone has learned hate before they have learned love. Everyone hates the villain before they love the hero, everyone sits and waits for the one to save the day rather than doing shit themselves.

So who the fuck came up with the idea that there is still good in humanity? Everyone, from what Hyejoo knew, carried some kind of sadistic craving to watch those they don't care for suffer, in one way or another. And anybody who would ever deny this would be lying. People are so fucking _inclined_ when they see deaths and tragedies on the news, but when the faithful has been discovered or hope has been lifted, it's _boring_? Why is it only when one is put at an obvious bad point in their lives that people care? Why can't they care when someone has lived another year after battling with issues or diseases that literally make them suffer and crave death? Why the fuck do they only care about those people when their diseases have gotten the best of them and they lost their battle? It's only interesting when it's tragic, right? If it's nice and hopeful, who really gives a shit?

Can't we just check up on our friends sometimes and remind them they really do impact your life- even a little? Because sometimes, it's all they need to hear. The loss of love in the generations living today has turned the world into an unkind, unfair place. Where days seem melancholy when nothing happens, where people are mundane because there's nothing going on. Can't we celebrate each day that passes like that? Where we have nothing to worry about? When we can see our family, friends, pets, even people who don't know us that we love anyway without another thought in mind? Why don't we treasure those days?

But no, the world is far too deep in this shit hole to ever crawl back out. If someone tells us there's no hope we are so quick to believe it, but when they say that there is hope that remains, we quickly dismiss that thought and deny it. Who even cares anymore is a simpler question than who wouldn't care anyways, nowadays. Not that things were simpler back however many years ago you want to recall to, but that we have still yet to spread the message of positivity throughout the world.

"And how would you fucking know?" Hyejoo spat between gritted teeth, fists clenching on her thighs, nails digging in to the point where she had gone numb to the pain. "No one is good anymore. They all just want to see you when you're hurt. They don't give a shit if you're actually fucking h-happy..."

Rather than comforting her like Haseul normally would when she saw tears streaming down Hyejoo's face, she felt anger pit in her stomach, fighting its way up her thrust to argue back at Hyejoo. "Really?? You're just gonna believe anything you fucking tell yourself, huh?? Stop pushing yourself all the time, god damnit! I'm your sister! Do you think I like watching you being all mopey and shit all the time?! Cause I fucking don't!!!" Haseul's voice broke into a shout, forgetting about the sleeping girl laying across from her. Her lungs felt a constant need for air, chest heaving up and down in fast motions, Hyejoo watching and listening to her reluctantly. "You're literally the only one who thinks you aren't good enough, the only one who doesn't like you. Stop being like that. The only person at this point who will ever hurt you is yourself!"

Chaewon blinked at the scene in front of her until her vision stopped being so blurry, still remaining in the same position she had been in as she was when she was asleep. Once she heard a quiet sob elicit from Hyejoo, she felt her breath hitch in worry. Quickly putting away that odd feeling, she shook her head at herself, _it's Hyejoo, she doesn't deserve your remorse_. Still, she couldn't stop herself from listening into the conversation, pretending she was still asleep- not that they'd notice her, anyway.

"I don't give a shit," Hyejoo started in a broken whisper, but cleared her throat to talk strongly again, sniffling now and then. "I like it that way. It's better than trusting people that I shouldn't have ever been loyal to just to have them hurt me." Chaewon bit her lip hearing this. She knew this could have meant anyone, but she still felt a twinge of guilt in her stomach when she heard the words. She looked up slightly to see the situation in front of her unravel more, mouth dropping agape and gasping quietly when she saw Hyejoo's messy face, tear-stained, sniffing constantly to prevent her nose from leaking even more than it already has. Haseul, who sat not too far away from the crying girl, looked filled with rage, knuckles white from her intensely clenched fists.

"Stop saying that!" Haseul yelled, scaring Hyejoo and even Chaewon. "You're only saying that because you want to believe that, when in reality, _you've_ been the cause of every torn friendship you've had! You just fucking get off from being dramatic, don't you? They aren't the problem, Hyejoo. You are."

Chaewon's eyes saddened hearing those words, which even hurt her. But more than that, the words seemed to hit Hyejoo like a bullet and damage her completely. The entire room went silent, Hyejoo couldn't even let out a cry as her tears now fell silently, hurtfully. Chaewon could hear her heart beat rapidly in her ears, worried for Hyejoo's next reaction.

Haseul regretted the words the second she let them slip, quickly trying to comfort the sister, the one she loved so dearly and never wished to put down, she had just hurt. "Hyejoo, I'm sorry-"

"No," Hyejoo cut her off, nodding slowly as she put out a hand to stop Haseul's speech. "You're right. I am just a problem." Haseul frowned, tears filling her eyes as she had realized how much she just hurt her sister.

"What I said was not okay. You didn't deserve to hear that. I'm sorry," Haseul apologized, voice down to a sickeningly sweet whisper.

"It's okay. I deserved to hear it. You told me the truth. You didn't lie. I appreciate that." The hurt was still so clear in Hyejoo's voice, despite her efforts to make it not seem evident. She went to lay back down, as far away as she could be from Chaewon. "I'll sleep now. Good night."

The air felt thick between them, but Haseul knew the difference between wrong and right; and it was so wrong to just leave it at that. Without a word, she slid in the space between Hyejoo and Chaewon, holding Hyejoo tight and running her fingers gently through her hair until she felt a steady, sleepy breathing pattern escape from Hyejoo. Haseul smiled to herself, kissing underneath Hyejoo's ear. "You're not a problem. You're not anyone's problem."

Chaewon still felt guilt bubble in her stomach, but decided to keep the feeling inside, unable to sleep the rest of the night. She couldn't tell if it was Hyejoo's or Haseul's loud snores she was hearing, but it was the only soundtrack to the 3am thoughts that ran randomly through Chaewon's head.

The more she let herself think, the worse she felt. She knew Hyejoo hated her now. And that she was supposed to hate Hyejoo, too. But for some reason, she can't. She doesn't know when she stopped being able to hate her, but she knew that she can't look at her and say she doesn't feel at ease by her company anymore. When did this even happen? And how?

She shook her head, trying to shake away the thought, but when she turned to see that Haseul had left the room, she was met with Hyejoo's snoring face. _What? When did Haseul leave..?_

Chaewon looked at her, trying to decipher the feelings inside of her stomach, but ended up with nothing. _Okay. I guess I'll never figure out what that is. I should turn away now._ She just couldn't stop looking at her, though. She couldn't even make herself budge, still looking at Hyejoo's soft features. She closed her eyes tight, _stop! Why am I even thinking that?!_ Chaewon forced herself to lay on the other side of her body, so that her back was facing Hyejoo and she wasn't tempted to stare at her like a creep again. With a heavy breath, she tried to fall asleep again, throwing a hand on her stomach and gripping the fabric of her shirt tight. _Just sleep._

Hyejoo was already asleep, so it was fine. She should just go to sleep and stop being paranoid about nothing. She just had to close her eyes, and-

"GUYS!" A sudden shout erupted through the room, causing both Hyejoo and Chaewon to bolt up from the bed almost instantly.

"What?" Both girls asked simultaneously.

"I messed with the coding of Yeojin's laptop to find and backtrack each and every website that could have led to this- and lo and behold, I think I've found it," Haseul smiled brightly despite the grim situation, turning the laptop towards the two girls so they could read it.

"By that do you mean you went through her search history?" Chaewon raised an eyebrow and Haseul rolled her eyes.

"No," she clicked on another tab. "Because of me doing that-" she threw Chaewon a glare- "I was able to get the address of this guy, and all we need to do now is get there."

Hyejoo immediately widened her eyes, suddenly feeling wide awake, as if she hadn't just been asleep minutes ago. She spoke in a frenzied voice, "So she's safe??"

"Well," Haseul began, trying not to crush Hyejoo's hope completely. "That... we don't know. Yet," Haseul said cautiously, already seeing the disappointment grow onto Hyejoo's face. "But! If she is still alive," Haseul started again, trying her best to let Hyejoo know that there is still hope. "We know where to get her!"

"And if she isn't?" Chaewon asked monotonously, crossing her arms.

"Then..." Haseul struggled to find the words. "Then we've tried our hardest. That's what matters."

Hyejoo cut in, "What?! No! What matters is that we get our sister back!! I could care less about the teamwork and  
shit, do you think I'm doing this to feel proud of myself?? Accomplished?? Because you'd be so wrong."

Haseul and Chaewon both blinked at Hyejoo, everyone of them staring at anything but each other for the next awkwardly silent minute until Chaewon interrupted the silence, clearing her throat. "So, what time is it..?"

"It's like 5," Haseul answered. Chaewon nodded, remaining silent.

"..We're just gonna act like nothing's happening?" Hyejoo asked.

"Yup," Haseul agreed. "You two need to get ready for school now anyway." She pushed both of them to Hyejoo's closet, leaving the room. "Have fun!"

Chaewon and Hyejoo both stared at each other in a long, awkward pause of silence before Chaewon and Hyejoo both opened their mouths at the same time to talk- a short sound coming from their mouth before a simultaneous _you go first_. Both girls waited but were met with a short silence before they broke into laughter, for what felt like maybe no reason. _Was this the first time Chaewon has laughed with Hyejoo in... what, years?_

"Why are you laughing?" Hyejoo said through her own small laughter.

"You were first."

"No!"

"Yeah," Chaewon insisted with a grin. Hyejoo shook her head, biting back a smile as she wordlessly opened her closet, picking any shirt and bottoms she got to first.

"..So you're not even going to make your outfit? Just... pick it out and go with it?" Chaewon raised an eyebrow.

"Yep," Hyejoo added nonchalantly, pulling another shirt and a pair of jeans from the closet and bringing them to Chaewon's hands.

Chaewon looked up at Hyejoo with a look between disgust and dismay. "Do have anything that's... not black?"

"What do you mean?" Hyejoo asked, pointing to the shirt she picked for Chaewon. "This has some blue on it!"

"Yeah. And it also says Blink-182."

"So?" Hyejoo questioned.

Chaewon gave up, searching through the closet herself, leaving Hyejoo with two shirts and two pairs of jeans in her hands. "Do you have anything, like, brighter?"

"Are you gonna keep complaining because I'm also fine with sending you to school in the clothes you're already wearing," Hyejoo threatened, and to that, Chaewon immediately took the clothes Hyejoo held out for her and held them to her chest.

"You win this time," Chaewon mumbled.

They stared at each other for a while after that, thinking of how they were going to get changed. Would it be too awkward to change in front of each other? They used to do it all the time when they were kids. Should they take turns in the bathroom? Look away while the other changes?

"Do you-" Hyejoo started.

"I can-" Chaewon interrupted.

"I'll just..." Hyejoo cautiously threw her shirt over her head, not caring as much as Chaewon did about the situation.

"Oh," Chaewon said, mouth slightly ajar. "I... Do you... you want me to look away?" Chaewon felt the heat rushing up to her face as she stared straight into Hyejoo's eyes, not daring to look anywhere else.

Hyejoo shrugged, "In not uncomfortable." She swiftly put the clean shirt onto herself, hands moving down to unbutton her pants.

" _Woah_!" Chaewon yelped, immediately throwing a hand over her eyes and shutting them tight, facing the ground. Her face burned, she was sure it was beet red, as she waited uncomfortably until she heard the zipper of Hyejoo's pants. "Warn me next time?"

"Why do you think there will be a next time?" Hyejoo laughed. It was funny how hard Chaewon was avoiding seeing her like this, even if they've seen each other like that countless times in the past. What happened?

Hyejoo sighed, she knew exactly what happened. And she knew she was the cause of it, too. Her strong will was wavering the longer she thought about it in the presence of Chaewon herself. She thought more about their lost friendship, about the good times they used to have. She remembered how much more fun life seemed when you had a friend.

And when Hyejoo means a friend- she doesn't mean anyone you talk to and laugh and cry with. A friend, a real friend, is someone you can feel completely at ease with, because sometimes, your safe place is wherever they are. Sometimes, your safe place feels like them. A friend is not a label you put on someone you feel close to, it's a title earned by someone gaining your trust and their loyalty. Hyejoo missed having a friend.

And to be completely honest, Hyejoo missed Chaewon.

"Remember when we went to that dumb ice cream parlor by ourselves?" Hyejoo smiled.

Chaewon was quick to return the action, with a small giggle as well. "And our parents got _sooo_ mad at us," she added.

"To be fair, we were eleven."

"And stole our parents money," Chaewon reminded.

"Our? That was all you!" Hyejoo exclaimed, laughing at the memory. "You should've seen your face when your mom found out!"

Suddenly, Chaewon's smile wiped from her face, despite her attempts to keep it. She remembered how she had ran away the other night. She didn't regret that. But now, where was she going to stay? For sure she would never get out of that house alive if her mother ever saw her again. She had no where to go. _Home is where your heart is_ , she reminded herself, and somehow, right here feels correct.

"Chaewon? Sorry, did I-"

"You know, when you left, she told me not to hang out with you for the next week," Chaewon admitted with a deadbeat laughter. "But I went to see you the very next day." She looked up at Hyejoo with a small smile at the confession. "I felt like no matter how much she'd threaten or hurt me... I could never be separated from you."

Hyejoo wore a sad smile at the words, not sure how to feel. She didn't know all of that went down. Why didn't she ever tell her? Her heart began to feel warm, like a butterfly ready to break from its cocoon, waiting to become beautiful.

"But I did," Chaewon sighed. "I did end up parting from you. And after you wrecked my car..." Hyejoo winced at the words, but let Chaewon continue. "I was sure I'd never end up going back to you."

Something inside of Hyejoo's gut twisted to apologize, but words wouldn't come out of Hyejoo's stern mouth.

Chaewon continued, "And... I want to find Yeojin soon. Because I can't stay by your side any longer."

Hyejoo would be lying if she said the words didn't affect her. Her heart felt like it weighed a little more suddenly, and her shoulders dropped lower than they just had been. She bit the inside of her cheek, not knowing the feeling rushing through her. Somehow, it was similar to the feeling of seeing Chaewon hang out with that other girl all those years ago. It was like that, but not exactly. She couldn't tell if it was a worse feeling than that or not. The closest thing she could compare it to was disappointment, but it wasn't that. She didn't know what it was. It didn't hurt too much, but the words stung.

"Why?" Hyejoo forced out of her mouth, voice delicate- almost fragile.

"Because I'm starting to think I need you again," Chaewon sighed.

The feeling wasn't lifted from Hyejoo's chest; rather, it shifted from a negative to a positive weight. She looked into Chaewon's eyes, not sure what to say following that. But somehow, words weren't exactly needed to make a moment.

"Girls!" Haseul barged into the room. "Get in the car! I'm bringing you to school now!"

Hyejoo and Chaewon both shared a look of shock, Chaewon quickly throwing on her clothes as Hyejoo put her hair up into what might have been the worst looking bun she's ever made, but it would have to do. They both ran as fast as they could after putting on their shoes and grabbing their bags into the car.

"Shit," Chaewon mumbled as she clicked her seatbelt. Hyejoo sat in the passenger seat, buckling herself in and looking back at Chaewon. Chaewon looked up, knowing Hyejoo was silently asking what was wrong. _Did Hyejoo suddenly get prettier..?_ Chaewon could have sworn that if this were a week ago she might've barfed at the sight of Hyejoo.

"...Chaewon?" Hyejoo interrupted Chaewon's thoughts, waving her hand in front of Chaewon's face to send her back to Earth, after have been spacing out.

"Oh," Chaewon blushed. "I don't have any of my school stuff in my bag. It's all at my house."

"Hm," Haseul hummed. "I can drop you off at your house if you wa-"

"NO!" Chaewon shouted, response almost immediate. "I'll just get a folder from school or something..."

Haseul blinked, but shrugged on agreement. "Suit yourself."

The car started moving and the vehicle was filled with a silence, which Chaewon couldn't tell if it felt awkward or comfortable. She looked out the window, watching the trees that blurred past as the car moved by them. There weren't many houses on the street they were on, it seemed to be mostly land. "Cows..." she whispered to herself as they passed a barn that held cows behind the fence that prevented them from wandering onto the road.

Soon enough, Haseul's car came to a stop and both girls exited the car silently, walking off to the school doors. Hyejoo walked a little faster than Chaewon, but Chaewon didn't bother to catch up.

Chaewon barely got through the entrance door before she was bombarded with hugs from around her. Instinctively looking down, she saw Heejin's arms wrapped tightly onto her body.

"Where were you! You had me worried sick, idiot!" Heejin scolded, laughing.

"I was- well- sick," Chaewon smiled through the lie, which Heejin, gullibly enough, seemed to believe.

"Oh. I regret hugging you then. Germs, y'know," Heejin teased.

Chaewon only laughed in response, eyes looking up and automatically glued to Hyejoo's figure that walked up the stairs. "Hey, uh, Heejin... I don't think I'll be sitting with you at lunch today."

Heejin frowned, but accepted. "That's fine, as long as we're still friends." At Chaewon's lack of response, Heejin hurriedly added, "We... we are still friends, right?!"

"What? Heejin!" Chaewon slapped Heejin's shoulder playfully. "Don't be silly! Of course we're still friends. Always. Remember? Butterfly and bunny."

Heejin smiled, "The butterfly and the bunny. You'll never let go of that, won't you?"

"Nope," Chaewon grinned. "It holds a special place in my heart."

The day passed rather slowly, and once lunch came around, it felt like a breath of fresh air. Chaewon quickly realized that because she didn't have anything to bring her lunch in, she didn't have a lunch. Sighing, she plopped down to the table Hyejoo normally sat at, looking out the window and tapping on the table as she waited for her to come by. Does time normally pass this slow? Chaewon could have sworn clocks were not ticking. It felt like forever she was sitting there alone, waiting for her company. She felt like a thousand eyes were burning into her skull, and even though the thought was irrational, she didn't dare look up to check.

Once she did look up, though, she was greeted with the sight of Hyejoo sitting with Heejin, as well as the rest of Chaewon's friend group. _What..?_ She felt too awkward to get up and go to them, especially considering she already told Heejin she wouldn't be sitting there today. Why was Hyejoo there, though?

She continued staring at Hyejoo without even noticing she was doing it- at least, not until Hyejoo looked back at her. The wide smile was suddenly wiped off Hyejoo's face as she saw Chaewon sitting there, alone, at the table she normally sat at. It felt like no one else was in the room anymore as they stared at each other, something sad in Chaewon's eyes. Quickly, Chaewon looked down into her lap, lacing her fingers together and fidgeting with her thumbs. Her breathing felt heavier.

Why was Hyejoo sitting there? Why did she look so happy?

Lunch couldn't have gone by slower.

For Hyejoo, Haseul's words kept ringing through her ears. Especially now, sitting in her most dreaded class: astronomy. Cool. Stars exist. So do constellations, meteors, planets... Why the fuck do you have to learn about them, though? If you're interested enough you'd do it in your own time. Not everyone planned on being an astronomer.

But, she was currently failing this class- to Haseul's standards, at least. But come on! It's a 65! That's not _terrible_..! She tried hard to focus, but somehow could only think about the look on Chaewon's face as she looked at her for that short second at lunch. _So that's where Chaewon was_ , she remembered thinking. She only sat there because she finally got the courage to talk to her as if they were friends again. Clearly, Chaewon didn't feel the same, though.

To have the nerve to rather sit alone at a different table than be seen at a table with Hyejoo... What the hell? At least her friends were partially decent people...

_Don't worry, Chaewon. Won't be stealing your fucking spot anymore._

When the day was finally over, Hyejoo was surprised to meet Chaewon already standing by her locker. Hiding the- what was that, happiness?- in her gut at the sight of Chaewon waiting there for her, she wore a disinterested face. She was probably only there to know how to get back to her house.

"What do you want?" Hyejoo huffed as she opened her locker, throwing all her folders into her backpack and slamming the textbooks onto the floor of her locker.

Chaewon was startled by the disinterest in Hyejoo's voice. She'd think that after trying to do something nice for her (even if it failed) would bring her a little sympathy? Nonetheless, she answered, "I... I just wanted to know..." She quickly thought of a lie, not exactly sure why she was there, now that she thought about it. "Was- um- was there homework in... biology... today..."

Hyejoo stared curiously at Chaewon, as if to ask if she was being serious. "I don't take biology?"

"Oh," Chaewon muttered as her face brightened. "Well- err- thanks, anyway. I'll just hope there wasn't any."

As she began walking away, Hyejoo scoffed, leaving Chaewon behind. She couldn't believe Chaewon completely ignored what went down at lunch. _Whatever! Two can play at that game!_

"Wait! Hyejoo!" Chaewon tried to run up to her through the crowd of high schoolers eager to exit the building. She reached her hand out to grab at Hyejoo's backpack, accidentally tugging a bit _too_ hard and causing her to fall backward.

Everyone around them gasped, staring at the scene, suddenly stuck in their steps. The hallway, which was once loud and roaring with chatter, grew into a dead silence, quiet enough for Chaewon to hear her heartbeat in her ears. She looked worriedly down at Hyejoo, who rubbed the back of her head painfully as she remained in her position on the floor. As soon as Hyejoo looked back up at Chaewon, a certain heat ignited in her eyes, scaring Chaewon. Suddenly, everyone started whispering, _are they going to fight? She looks so mad! What's going on?_

Hyejoo slowly got back onto her feet, never taking her eyes off Chaewon for a second. "What... the... fuck," she growled.

Some people brought out their phones and started recording, everyone in disbelief that the cute, preppy girl had picked a fight on the girl no one ever bugged.

"Please," Chaewon surrendered, hands out in front of her as she slowly backed away, as if Hyejoo was a ferocious animal. "I can explain..." Chaewon desperately looked around into the crowd, seeing a few phones and how everyone looked entertained. No one was going to help her?

"I don't know who the fuck you think you are," Hyejoo began. "Or when you became brave enough to avoid me, _butterfly_ , but I don't wanna put up with it." She radiated so much more confidence than Chaewon, which felt like a first. Chaewon felt so small and useless under Hyejoo's glare, feeling the need to hide somewhere before something happened.

"Don't hurt me..." Chaewon muttered desperately, only loud enough for Hyejoo to hear. Tears filled her eyes, and even she herself didn't know why. But she couldn't stop them from forming. None ever escaped her eyes. "Hyejoo... Wolfie," Chaewon's voice softened at the nickname, a soft, genuine smile forming onto her face, trying to hide her tears eyes. The nickname rolled off her tongue sweetly, unlike how Hyejoo used it as if it were venom. Suddenly, Hyejoo felt really guilty looking into her eyes, looking at her sad smile. "You wouldn't... You wouldn't hurt me... right?"

Hyejoo's mouth fell open as she looked around her, as if realizing what has happened. "N-no," she admitted, cowering away from her, as if she were afraid to touch Chaewon. Disappointed wails emerged from around them, _come on! Fight!_

Chaewon's smile slowly grew, a tear slipping from her eyes, tears forming in Hyejoo's as well. Chaewon walked towards Hyejoo and held her hand.

"Really?" Someone yelled. "You can't just make up like that! The girl pulled you down! You can't let her do that! Stop being such a sissy!"

Hyejoo glared at the guy who said that, warning him to back off. She looked back down at her hand, interlocked with Chaewon's. "Lets go back home..."

Chaewon looked up at Hyejoo. "Home?"

"Unless you want to st-"

Before Hyejoo could finish, Chaewon wrapped her in the warmest hug she could ever give. Hot tears fell onto the shoulder of Hyejoo's shirt, but for some reason, Hyejoo didn't mind. Her arms found Chaewon's waist as she rubbed her back lovingly. She could feel Chaewon mutter a thank you into the fabric of her shirt, and Hyejoo only nodded. It felt like everyone else disappeared as they walked hand in hand towards Haseul's car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new fic by the end of november mayhaps?


	5. five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS BEEN FOUR MONTHS I HAVE NO EXCUSE..... n e ways enjoy the chapter
> 
> tw// death, graphic depictions of violence, weird old men

Somehow Hyejoo felt odd holding Chaewon's hand, but so natural, too. It felt weird, that just a few days ago Chaewon was the last person she'd ever want to talk to. She couldn't tell if this feeling was refreshing or unwanted. Hyejoo consciously pulled her hand away once they exited the school, not wanting the feeling to linger on her fingertips anymore. Chaewon looked at her oddly but didn't say anything, not wanting to raise questions after their- could you call it a fight?- whatever it was.

Hyejoo felt weird, no one could deny that suddenly becoming best friends again with your best-friend-turned-enemy was a little odd. Especially after what they've done to each other. And, now that she thought about it, what were they going to do about that? Ignore it? Pretend it never happened? Move along and forget the past? The guilt began to ascend again inside Hyejoo's stomach, looking down at her feet as she walked, remembering how she wrecked Chaewon's car just because she found a new friend. And just as she went to look up again, Haseul's car was right there, parked harmlessly, and yet Hyejoo still managed to knock herself into it.

"Ow!" Hyejoo yelped and shut her eyes, bringing her hand up to rub her aching nose. "Jesus fu-"

"Dumbass," Haseul laughed, rolling down the window to check on her little sister. She made quick eye contact with Chaewon, only a few feet behind her, who was also stifling laughter, covering her mouth with her palm. "Get in the car, you two."

Chaewon nodded and Hyejoo opened the car door, not bothering to walk around the car and sit up front with Haseul. Chaewon sat in the seat beside Hyejoo, feeling comfortable now with being close to her. She believes that at least part of their friendship has been redeemed, right?

Haseul drove away from the school and looked back at the two girls in the back seat. She kept her eyes on Hyejoo through the rear view mirror, squinting at her. "You're so fucking lucky that I'm choosing to help you instead of keeping my flawless college attendance. You didn't even thank me once, you brat."

Hyejoo looked up at her, previously pretending like picking her nails was the most entertaining thing in the world. "Okay, thank you?? I mean, I'd assume you would kind of want to save your own sister..."

"She was annoying," Haseul stated. "But Mom would definitely kill me if I didn't help get her back."

"Keep in mind Mom still thinks Yeojin's at some weird education camp or something," Hyejoo added.

Haseul sighed, "Yep. But we gotta keep it that way, we don't need her panicking or anything."

"I can already hear her," Hyejoo began with a laugh. " _My poor baby Yeojin! Oh, my sweet little child, my favorite, gone! The_ -"

"Hyejoo, stop," Haseul ordered with a laugh. "Not something we're gonna joke about. But you're totally right."

A short laughter filled the car before it went silent again, Chaewon looking out the window, feeling somewhat out of place. Haseul immediately caught onto that, the better part of her being a good humanitarian and including her too.

"How was school, Chaewon?" She asked. "I'm assuming you're getting better grades than Hyejoo. Or at least I'm hoping."

"Hey!" Hyejoo intervened.

"Shut up," Haseul retorted.

"Mm," Chaewon hummed for a second in thought. "It was alright." She looked over at Hyejoo for a second, debating on whether or not to tell her about the whole fight thing. Even if it wasn't really a fight. "Same as every other day, for the most part."

Hyejoo felt her face redden, knowing she was indirectly talking about the entire thing she started. She wanted to facepalm herself, knowing how much of a scene she caused in front of so many students. Oh god, how was she going to go into school tomorrow without people thinking she was a bitch?!

"I sat at Chae's table today," Hyejoo said, mostly to distract herself from her own thoughts.

"You don't normally?" Haseul questioned genuinely, looking back at her sister.

"No?" Hyejoo replied as if it were obvious. "I normally just sit by myself, I guess."

"Well, I tried to sit at Hyejoo's table today," Chaewon explained, forcing out a laugh in spite of herself. "I ended up sitting alone. I didn't know Hyejoo would try to sit with me."

"Aww," Haseul's sympathized, pouring in sorrow. "Sorry. I'm sure Hyejoo meant the best."

Chaewon only shrugged. "I know. I hated sitting alone though. How do you do it everyday, Hyejoo?"

Hyejoo's answer was immediate, "I just prefer to sit alone. I hate our school. That includes the people in it. Teachers, students, princip-"

"Hyejoo, literally shut up. You're always so... sad. Or something," Haseul sighed, rolling her eyes.

"You shut up!" Hyejoo exclaimed. "I wasn't even talking to you anyways!"

Haseul turned to Chaewon. "You ever just wanna... slap her?"

Chaewon nodded with little hesitance.

"Well, Chae, I give you my full permission to," Haseul declared proudly, patting Chaewon's head.

"I hate you both," Hyejoo muttered.

"The feeling's mutual," Haseul laughed.

"We're home anyway. Time to see the only person that loves me in this house," Hyejoo scoffed, glancing at Chaewon when she giggled.

Chaewon got out of the car, greeting Hyejoo and a Haseul again when they followed. She let Haseul go in front of her while she stood by Hyejoo's side, sides brushing against each other as they walked up the stairs of her porch.

"Does your mom know I'm staying here now?" Chaewon asked, still modeling a small smile, happy from their banter.

"Staying here _now_? As in forever?" Hyejoo asked, standing on the porch with Chaewon as Haseul went inside.

Chaewon leaned over the railing, holding her head up with her palms. She shrugged, looking down at the green grass and rocks that separated it from the dirt.

"Forever?" Hyejoo inquired again.

"I dunno," Chaewon muttered, sending Hyejoo the smallest hint of a smile. She looked at her for a second, as if contemplating something, before continuing, "Would you be okay with that?"

"As in... like, my mom adopting you?" Hyejoo asked, almost unable to hold eye contact. "And be- be sisters?"

Chaewon didn't really know how to respond. Did Hyejoo not want her living under the same roof as her?

"Chae, I, uh..." Hyejoo looked for the words. "Sisters," she laughed. "Don't you think I have enough of those?" She tried to make light of the topic, but Chaewon's eyes only saddened, her attempts at holding her smile becoming weaker.

"Yeah," Chaewon agreed. It sounded dull, emotionless. "I don't really want to be sisters anyway."

"Wouldn't it be awkward?" Hyejoo asked.

"Would it?" Chaewon asked Hyejoo back.

Hyejoo licked her lips. What was Chaewon even saying?

"We don't have to be sisters. I don't even want to be sisters. I just don't want to live with my mom anymore," Chaewon explained.

Hyejoo nodded. She looked down at her feet, then at the trees in front of them. The sun was still in the sky, but it felt like it should be setting. She looked at the clouds- more like cloud, in the singular form- watched how it swam in the great big blue of the sky. How it covered the sun and made the world look temporarily darker than it actually was.

"What do you want to be, Chaewon?" Hyejoo questioned, voice small, fragile. Her eyes never moved from the scenery in front of them, never inched towards Chaewon, never gave up their stance.

Chaewon sighed in thought, relaxing and yet tensing at the same time. "I want to be your friend. Haven't we already been over this?"

Hyejoo nodded, blinking as the cloud moved away from the sun, letting the plants bask in its light again, painting the world with its bright highlights. "This is what you want? Even after we find Yeojin?"

Chaewon looked over at her, smiling. "Yeah. I think so." Hyejoo looked over at her.

Hyejoo's face was soft, without a smile yet still radiating happiness. She couldn't tell if those few seconds of them staring at each other was awkward or refreshing. She didn't even know how to respond to Chaewon's offer of the renewal of their friendship. She wasn't sure if the swollen feeling in her chest was telling her to say no or yes, but it wasn't necessarily a bad feeling. It was new, and weird. When they were friends, she didn't feel like this. So maybe she had to listen to her heart this time. She straightened her posture and cleared her throat, forcing her guards back up.

"Girls!" A sudden voice erupted through the serene silence, causing both Hyejoo's and Chaewon's heads to turn. "Come inside, I made lemonade!" Hyejoo's mom insisted with a come hither motion of her hand.

The girls exchanged a look with each other before following Hyejoo's mother inside the house. Chaewon watched as Hyejoo's mom's eyes widened a fraction, looking between the two girls.

"Wow! That's so weird..." Hyejoo's mother laughed. "It feels like the last time I've seen you guys together was years ago!"

"Probably because it was," Hyejoo muttered. She picked up a glass of lemonade from the table and took a small sip from it, puckering her lips at its sour taste. "Did you even add any sugar?!"

Her mom laughing, moving to rustle Hyejoo's hair. "Of course, my love. You can add more if you want."

Chaewon took a sip. "Gosh, it's so sweet..! Hyejoo, what are you saying?!" Hyejoo's mom chuckled once again, watching the girls with soft eyes and a warm feeling in her chest. The sound of their banter was only background music in her ears, her mind only focused on Hyejoo and Chaewon, with their bright, childlike smiles, arms moving to smack at each other's shoulders and suddenly it felt like all those years ago again; it felt like perfectly warm summers and the sound of a child's laugh, it felt like going through a box of pictures your mother saved from your childhood, revisiting the memories of the best time of your life. And suddenly they were seven years old again, living life with the biggest problem being which snack you wanted to bring to school. Hyejoo's mother rested her hands atop her beating heart, the smallest of smiles creeping onto her face as the two girls laughed like they did when they were so much younger.

_"No- wait- Wonnie-" Hyejoo called, her small hands wrapping around a chilly glass her mom just got from the freezer. "My mommy is getting the lemonade, you can't go home..." Hyejoo wore a pout, her already youthful face looking even younger._

_Chaewon stared at her, contemplation written on her face as the burning sun heated her shoulders. She looked at Hyejoo, sitting under the shadow of a tree, dirt and grass stains all over her bright blue leggings. Her bare feet dug into the ground beneath her, her hair looked a lot shorter at some angles from her low ponytail. Chaewon cautiously made her way back to Hyejoo, looking over her shoulder to make sure her mom wasn't watching her through the window. She was supposed to be home._

_"Wolfie..." She said, voice low._

_"Sit down," Hyejoo insisted, tugging on Chaewon's skirt._

_Chaewon obliged, sitting criss-cross beside Hyejoo. Sitting in the shade felt a lot better than standing in the sun._

_"My mom might be mad," Chaewon simply stated._

_"I won't let her be," Hyejoo defended._

_Chaewon paused for a moment, looking at her feet before looking over to Hyejoo. "Okay."_

_Hyejoo's mom came outside with a large pitcher, ice cubes floating in the lemonade bouncing around as she made her way from the porch to the tree where they sat. She filled up Hyejoo's glass halfway, smiling at Chaewon and greeting her before going back inside._

_"We can share a cup," Hyejoo said, taking a sip of lemonade and handing the cup to Chaewon so she could do the same. And wordlessly, they sat there, taking turns sipping the drink until it was gone. Hyejoo placed the empty glass by her side and turned to face Chaewon._

_"Want to sleep over?" She offered, a hopeful smile etching across her face._

_Chaewon's eyes were said as she shook her head. "Sorry."_

_Hyejoo nodded in understanding and looked down. "It's okay." Her voice was softer than intended._

_"Bye-bye," Chaewon muttered, waving her tiny hand. Hyejoo took the hand into her own, squeezing it for a second before hugging Chaewon._

_"Bye," Hyejoo repeated. She pretended to be walking up to her front door until she heard Chaewon walking away. Hyejoo looked over her shoulder at her, watching her small form run over to the other side of the street after making her way across the front yard. She could hear Chaewon's footsteps against the pavement softly echo with a barely audible thud, watched as the porch light illuminated the stairs Chaewon stepped up to make her way to the door. She saw Chaewon knock on the door and wait for a moment there, hands holding each other behind her back, dark hair cascading down her shoulders. As Chaewon started to turn around in Hyejoo's direction, Hyejoo quickly turned and ran up the rest of the porch stairs. Carefully, she turned around again as she heard Chaewon's mother's voice, seeing the door shut behind Chaewon. Hyejoo sat down on her porch, the sun starting to set and the air getting cooler, her hair waving ever so slightly in the breeze. She rested her chin in her palms as she watched Chaewon hug her father in his chair through the window._

_She couldn't tell what exactly happened from there, once Chaewon's mom closed the curtains, but she could make out her silhouette as it walked away. Hyejoo sighed, about to stand up and go inside before she saw Chaewon go into her room, sitting down on her bed. She was crying. Hyejoo immediately sat up straighter, squinting to make sure she saw that right. Why was Chaewon crying?_

_Suddenly, her mother comes into her room and Chaewon cries even more, hiding behind her own arms, curling in on herself. Chaewon was shouting, but her mom just stood there. She stood there and did nothing. Hyejoo didn't like this, her stomach flipping on itself as if she were going to be sick. Something didn't feel right. No, something felt so threatening and it made Hyejoo's heartbeat quicken. Chaewon removed her arms from over her face slowly, her mother staring back at her, and even Hyejoo could feel the tension. Her chest tightened as she watched her mom say something with a snarl, proceeding to slam the door as she walked out of Chaewon's room. Hyejoo ran inside her house, too scared to continue watching. She didn't know if she wanted to see what happens next._

_The door closing so harshly made a frame hanging up on Chaewon's wall fall to the floor and shatter, Chaewon kneeling before it, uncaring about the pieces of glass stabbing into her knees. Her chest hurt from crying so much, crying so loud, shouting and begging for her mother to please just stop, just today. But her mother's harsh, unforgiving voice always rose over her daughter's, and slowly, Chaewon has forgotten that this isn't right. Maybe, in some world that isn't sick, a world untwisted and beautiful, it wouldn't be like this. But this world isn't that world. So maybe this is just life. Maybe this is normal. Her hands shook as she picked up the picture that used to be held inside the frame. A teardrop fell down onto the image of her and Hyejoo two years ago at Chaewon's birthday party. She wiped the wet droplet with her thumb to the best of her ability, later finding it of no use when her tears refused to stay in her eyes._

_She could still hear her mother's voice echo in her head. "Oh, so you're gonna cry now?" she'd say. "I thought I raised you to be a strong, big girl, Chaewon. I thought a lot of things about you."_

_It started with just that. But suddenly it became more vicious, more scary, to the point where Chaewon was hiding under her bed at the sound of her mother coming home. Her body wouldn't stop shaking, and that's when her dad would always be there. To hold her, to tell her it will be okay. To tell her he wished it could be better._

_"Why are you still with her?" Chaewon would always ask him, always getting the same response:_

_"I... just can't. I wish it was easier than that, sweetie. You'll understand one day." And he'd press a kiss to her head and tuck her extra snug into bed, looking back at her before shutting off the lights, telling her good night._

_But recently, he's stopped being able to save her. Stopped being able to protect her. Now, he can't even get up from his chair, and it only gets worse as each day passes. Her mother never had the money to buy him his medications anymore. No matter how much Chaewon cried and pleaded and bargained with her, she wouldn't budge. "There's too many other things to be worrying about right now. You want food, right?"_

_Chaewon let the picture fall from her hands and float down to the carpet, choosing instead to hold her head, keeping it from falling onto the glass as she silently sobbed. She was too afraid her mother would hear her._

_Her stomach hurt so bad, she'd been crying so hard she thought she might puke. The more tears that silently escaped her eyes, it seemed even more filled them. She bit her lip until she tasted blood to keep herself from screaming out. She hated her mom so much. She wished it didn't have to be like this._

_A soft knock sounded at the door, followed by her mother's voice. "Your father wants to see you."_

_Chaewon stood up on her weak knees, holding the doorknob for a moment before cautiously wiping her eyes and wearing the best smile she could pull off. She opened the door, her tired, weary eyes meeting her mother's. It was like staring at a stranger, her mom holding no warmth for her own daughter. Carefully, she waited for her mother to step aside before she made her way to the living room, where her dad now stayed._

_She looked over at him, and immediately, he smiled over to her, waving his hand with little strength. Chaewon ran over to him and looked at the room before jumping onto the chair with him and crying into his chest. He didn't mind the tear stains now dampening his shirt, he could barely feel them. Just his daughter, his sunlight and reason he has continued on. He tries to move his hand enough to brush his fingers through Chaewon's hair, but once his hand meets Chaewon's scalp, his muscles feel worn out. He sighs. He's supposed to be a normal, middle-aged dad, providing Chaewon with all the beautiful things she could ever dream of. He hasn't. He'll never get the chance to, either. Not anymore. Tears begin to fill his eyes, slowly shifting his head down to see Chaewon hugging him, crying to him. He wished he could comfort her. He wished he could say sorry for all the things he never got to give to her. He wished he could say sorry for no longer being able to talk and play with her, like how every other little girl does with their fathers. A tear slips past his eyes, followed by another, and he refuses to blink as he drinks up the moment. He can barely speak anymore, let alone walk or work._

_Chaewon looks up at him, and he can see himself in her eyes. Her eyes were just like his own, he noted. Only they used to shine more brightly, with more life. He wished he could apologize for being the reason they stopped twinkling. He knew that Chaewon cried cause of him. He knew how she wished she had a dad who could give her the things she needs. He wants to reassure her and hug her to tell her that dad still loves her, but he can't._

_He knows how Chaewon cries because she can't do anything about his illness. That she can't fix him, that she can't do anything to heal him. Chaewon grabs his hand that isn't resting on her head and holds it in both of her own._

_"Please don't leave me with Mommy..." she whispered, tucking her face back into his shirt. He closes his eyes, feeling how Chaewon grips his hand more tightly. He wants to sigh. So this is that feeling, isn't it? When your heart swells so full you can't tell if it's borderline dangerous. He opened his eyes again, and Chaewon was already looking up at him._

_Sorry for not being the dad you wanted me to be, he wanted to say. But Chaewon beat him to it._

_"Dad? I love you, you're the best..." She expresses, hands never letting go of her father's, eyes glancing down to look at them. "It's okay that you can't say you love me too... I know you do." She smiled at that, looking back up at his face, his tears surprising her. Worriedly, she let go of his hand and brought her small fingers to wipe at his tears. "Don't cry. I'll always love you."_

_He could feel himself slip slowly in and out of consciousness, but he fought it, just for a few more minutes. He hoped that somehow, Chaewon could feel that he wanted it to be different, too. But never in a million years would he trade Chaewon for the world. So maybe, despite the circumstances... it was going to be okay. He knows that Chaewon won't have anyone to run to anymore. He feels eternally guilty for that. She won't have anyone to save her. But he knows that she'll always have Hyejoo. He knows that the love of a friend will always prevail; and one day, Chaewon will learn what's better for herself. He only hopes for the best for her. Because it's what she deserves._

_He wants to hold Chaewon closer to him before he dies, to hold her face and kiss her forehead goodnight. But he can't. He knows this is the last time he'll be awake to see Chaewon. But Chaewon doesn't know that. He wished he could tell her._

_She sees him closing his eyes as if going to sleep, opening and closing them, and she giggles. "Are you getting sleepy?"_

_God, he wished he could tell her._

_She watched his eyes close, and not reopen this time. She pushes herself and kisses his forehead, smiling through it. "Goodnight." She only stayed there for a few minutes before going back to her bedroom and falling asleep herself._

\---

"Hyejoo, come upstairs for a minute! I need you!" Haseul's voice cut between the laughing of Hyejoo and Chaewon.

"Gimme a second," Hyejoo shouted back as she downed the rest of her lemonade. "Be right back."

She got up from her chair and ran up the stairs, leaving her mother and Chaewon by themselves, probably to talk about how long it's been since they've seen each other and school and other mom things. The door was already open when Hyejoo was upstairs, so she walked into the room and shut the door behind her.

"What do you want?" She asked mundanely.

"Come here," Haseul ordered, motioning her over with her hand. She turned her laptop to the side so Hyejoo could see. "See this?"

Hyejoo shrugged. "I see a bunch of weird-ass coding."

Haseul facepalmed herself, sighing exaggeratedly. "No, dumbass," she groaned, pointing to a certain point in the screen that was, once again, only more coding Hyejoo didn't understand. Hyejoo stared blankly at Haseul until Haseul gave up and explained. "It's the IP address of the person who supposedly took Yeojin."

"Mhm," Hyejoo hummed. Haseul waited for her to add anything, but she was unsurprisingly met with nothing. Haseul let out her breath held in irritation, wishing she could roll her eyes harder.

"Do you know what this means?!" Haseul asked, voice laced with irritation yet excitement.

"That Yeojin's kidnapper lives somewhere?"

Haseul doesn't even know why she tries  with her anymore. "No. No, it means that our chances of finding Yeojin are really high now."

"Um? What?" Hyejoo asked incredulously. "How do we know it's _this_ one that took Yeojin? She got like... a million dark web emails."

"Trust me, I know we're gonna find her now. All we need now is to get to this place!" Haseul gushed.

Hyejoo nodded, letting herself believe Haseul. "Alright. When do we go?"

Haseul paused. " _We_?"

"...Yeah..?" Hyejoo carefully confirmed.

"There isn't a _we_ in this, you still have school to go to. And what about Chaewon?"

"What?! You have school too!"

"That's college. It's different," Haseul stated.

"How?! And what does Chaewon have to do with any of this?!" Hyejoo's voice began to raise.

"You can't stay by her forever, you know," Haseul said, voice a lot calmer than Hyejoo's. "She hasn't really helped much anyway, don't you think? She has her mother to go home to... she's probably worried sick about her."

"No," Hyejoo denied. "And she has helped us. We wouldn't even be this far into finding Yeojin yet if she didn't find that journal!"

"Anyone could have found that journal! I think it's so great that you're friends again, really, but... it's like your choosing her over your own sister. Your blood. I love your friendship! But at this point, we shouldn't be dragging her along... I know how she is, Hyejoo. She's going to get too stressed about all of this. You stay with her. I will bring Yeojin back home."

Hyejoo shook her head, eyes pooling with angry tears that she was determined not to shed. Her fists clenched into balls and she backed a step away from Haseul, looking at her as if she was being ridiculous. "No way! She's- she's _my_ sister too," Hyejoo hiccuped, tears blurring her vision, her throat tight from holding in her cries.

"It's too dangerous-"

"Shut up!" Hyejoo finally shouted, chest aching. "You're wrong! About everything!" Haseul rolled her eyes. "Don't roll your fucking eyes at me, either! You're bringing me. And you're bringing Chae."

"You can't-"

"You're bringing us, or I'm telling Mom about what happened to Yeojin."

Haseul tightened her lips to a straight line, not responding to that. She knew she couldn't have their mother find out. She'd panic far too much. She won't tell her unless she absolutely has to.

Haseul defeatedly murmured, "Alright. I'll bring you."

"Guys?" Chaewon asked as she knocked on the door. "You okay?"

Hyejoo went over and opened the door, blinking tears out of her eyes. "Sorry. I didn't mean to yell."

Chaewon nodded, and they all sat on the bed. Haseul looked at Chaewon for a moment before speaking. "We leave tomorrow. I'll pick you both up after school. We'll find Yeojin then."

Chaewon smiled. "I can't believe we actually did it."

"We didn't," Haseul pointed out. "Not yet, at least."

"Well, you get the point," Chaewon responded.

Hyejoo looked out the window at the sunset, hoping for better days. It will all be normal after Yeojin gets back. It will all be better. She doesn't know when she started sleeping, but she only knows now that she is dreaming. Dreaming for way too much at once. And soon the metaphor turns into reality when Hyejoo's eyes close and she finds herself in that same room she was in not long ago.

\---

_It hadn't changed too much since the last time she's seen it, really. For the most part, it's the same. Only without Chaewon. She sighed, deciding not to linger too long in the room, she knows she'd only feel worse. Instead, she opened the door to be greeted by the outside world, expecting the freezing cold and the snow, but being met with the shimmering sun and the most beautiful, green yard. What happened? Had the snow already melted? The winter had passed so fast..._

_She didn't know how much she missed the dark-haired Chaewon of her dreams until she looked at the tree again, the tree she saw from last time. She wanted to smile at the memory but she couldn't, because the more she lingered on it, the less happy it felt. She remembers kissing her before she left her, and she never knew how much she would miss her. She remembers how she promised to find her, how she knew that it was Chaewon and she still made that promise. Was she not thinking? Why had those words slipped so easily from her mouth? She so easily offered her love to someone who she barely knew- that Chaewon in her dreams. And then promised her love to the version of her that lives in her life outside of her dreams._

_She didn't have to keep the promise. The real Chaewon is different, she reminded herself. She wouldn't want her love anyway._

_"Wait-" she paused at the thought._

_No, she meant- she meant that she wouldn't want Chaewon's love. Not vice versa... Fuck, why was this so confusing? She knew she didn't want to love Chaewon, especially after the past few years. Maybe her brain is playing a cruel joke on her. Having these thoughts in her head. She knew she didn't like Chaewon like that, her heart only beat faster around her because it's still tense from the years prior. She only basked in Chaewon's gentle hugs and few times they've held hands because she gets attention from nobody else. She only liked Chaewon's smile because it was pretty and genuine. She only fought the blush from rising to her cheeks when Chaewon teased her because she was embarrassed._

_She wanted it to make sense. But it didn't. Maybe it never would. Maybe she needs to put away the chains that lock up and isolate her heart, and let herself-_

Hyejoo has never bolted up quicker. Her heart beat too fast in her chest. Her steadied her breathing and looked at the sleeping girl beside her. She looked around for Haseul. Where was Haseul?

"Haseul?" Hyejoo whispered as lightly as she could, careful not to wake Chaewon. Haseul must have went to sleep in Yeojin's bed or something. She laid back down on the mattress, letting her head sink into the pillow. She felt Chaewon's arms wrap around her body. She pulled her face up to look at her sleeping face, so serene and calm. Her heartbeat quickened again. She didn't know why, but suddenly tears were flowing down her face faster than she could stop them. She didn't want to like Chaewon like this. She was scared if she was the only one who felt more complete with the other, scared if only her heart beat like that, and it wasn't mutual. She closed her eyes, letting her heart pound violently in her chest as she let her hand, against every fiber of her being, rest on Chaewon's side. Tomorrow couldn't come sooner.

\---

"Chae," Hyejoo whispered, gently shaking Chaewon's shoulder. She groaned, tiredly turning over to her other side. Hyejoo sighed, she's been trying to wake her up for at least five minutes. Hyejoo was practically ready for school, deciding to change into her clothes and brush her hair instead of sleep. That and binge some stupid shows that she now regrets watching. She'll definitely fall asleep in class.

"Chaewon, if you don't get your-" Hyejoo started more sternly before being cut off by the waking girl.

"Okay! I'm up." Chaewon's voice was raspy and lower than her regular voice, Hyejoo noted. Chaewon rubbed her tired eyes and looked up at Hyejoo. "Can you get me something to change into," she instructed more than asked.

Hyejoo rolled her eyes but complied, getting the first shirt she could grab and a pair of jeans too small for herself to wear, throwing them at the half-asleep girl. "Anyways," Hyejoo began. "I'm gonna go make breakfast. Come down when you want."

Hyejoo was never really the best at making food. But hey, at least she didn't burn the kitchen by trying to make chicken nuggets, which is more than she could say for Chaewon. She put bread into the toaster and thought hard about the breakfast foods Chaewon liked. She liked pancakes, right? Everyone likes pancakes...

She went onto the tips of her toes to reach the pancake mix, kept on the highest shelf to prevent Yeojin from having another incident (of which Hyejoo promised never to speak). She threw in pancake mix until deemed enough and eyeballed how much water to add, mixing it until it was like batter.

Was pancake mix supposed to be watery? It fell from the mixing spoon as if it was a liquid. She tried adding more powder, then water, and- well, she wasn't good at this. She sighed and decided to stick with what she had, her hands already covered in powder and whatnot anyway. She made a mental note to change into a different pair of pants, too, after seeing the powder on them.

She prepared the pan and poured in the still inadequate batter, exhaling in disappointment. But who was she kidding, Chaewon wouldn't even notice if the pancakes were literal liquid. She wasn't a picky eater anyway. Hyejoo stepped away from the stove to go change into new pants.

She opened the door to see Chaewon flipping through an old notebook of hers. Hyejoo stared for a second, but dismissed it later because she simply didn't have the energy to smack it out of her hands. She grabbed a new pair of jeans and changed into them, knowing Chaewon wouldn't be looking up from that notebook anytime soon anyway. She turned to look in the mirror, making sure her hair looked at least mildly decent, considering she spent less than a minute brushing it this morning in her sleepless state.

"What's that smell?" Chaewon asked simply, still looking down at the notebook, smiling at Hyejoo's childish doodles. She wondered how old Hyejoo was when she drew these, but considering there were a few pages dedicated to 'my bestest friend Chaewon!' it had to have been a while ago.

"You mean my delicious-" Hyejoo paused, finally inhaling the air-

"WHAT THE HELL IS BURNING?" Haseul shouted from downstairs, causing Hyejoo to jump up and run down in a hurry. Chaewon followed, curious.

"Your delicious _what_ , Hyej- Oh." Chaewon stared at the scene in front of her. The room was semi-smoky, and Hyejoo was frantically turning off the stovetop.

"Holy hell!" Hyejoo yelled, coughing and swatting at the air.

"Hyejoo, care to explain?" Haseul inquired.

"I just wanted to make some... some pancakes..." Hyejoo said slowly.

"...So why... _why_ would you leave the stove unattended... you know... the thing... _cooking_ , your pancakes?" Haseul asked even slower. Chaewon had to hold in her laughter at Hyejoo's guilt-ridden face.

"I don't know?? But my pride is far too swollen for me to even think of saying sorry so if that's what you're looking for..." Hyejoo shrugged.

Haseul had to stop herself from slapping Hyejoo in the face. As well as slapping herself, too. "I'll take it from here."

All in all, pancakes smelled a lot better when someone who knew what they were doing was making them. Tasted okay, too. But maybe that's fault on Hyejoo for adding way to much of everything.

"Hurry and eat, you two," Haseul ordered as she watched the girls sitting at the table eat like birds. "I have to get you to school in two minutes and it's like a ten minute drive."

\---

"So... you're saying Hyejoo has to go to detention because she's been late too many times?" Haseul asked for clarity as Chaewon and Hyejoo stood behind her. They knew they were going to be late, but if Hyejoo knew she'd be going to detention she would have just stayed home and faked another ailment.

The lady behind the counter- otherwise known as Mrs. Baek, the principal; otherwise known as the devil herself (either or)- stared holes into Haseul's unrelenting face, determined to get her failing, disappointing- yet still owner of some of her love- sister out of detention. She turned for a split second as if to tell Hyejoo once again about how she had never gotten less than an 89 in her grade book from seventh to twelfth grade, and, on top of that, never having once been to detention.

"Precisely so, Haseul. Don't you think she's a little... _unlike_ , the rest of your family? She doesn't have the same grades as you had," Mrs. Baek mused. Hyejoo rolled her eyes, scoffing, just _knowing_ that Mrs. Baek's eyes were on her and how absolutely _unhappy_ and _appalled_ she'd be with this behavior. But who was Hyejoo to care?

"Um. Have you had Yeojin yet?" Haseul furrowed her eyebrows.

"I don't know of a Yeojin," Mrs. Baek answered.

"Are we sure Yeojin has even gotten out of elementary school yet," Hyejoo deadpanned. She heard Chaewon chuckle lightly beside her, looking over at her smiling form, already looking back at her.

"You're stupid," Chaewon whispered so only Hyejoo could hear, eyes wide and sweet despite the contradicting words. A small smile lifted Hyejoo's lips.

"Right back at ya," Hyejoo whispered back. She looked back at the still babbling Haseul.

"-even though she isn't the best at it, which trust me, I know better than anyone she isn't-"

"I'm not what?" Hyejoo asked.

Haseul looked back at her, blinking and looking for a moment before speaking. "Will you shut up?" Haseul sighed, turning back to the principal. " _Anyway_ , she may not be the best at school, but I can promise you: if you just let her out of it this once, she will do the rest of her homework for the semester," Haseul bargained.

"WHAT?!" Hyejoo and Chaewon erupted at once. Chaewon, in disbelief; Hyejoo, in complete and utter denial.

" _Okay_ , there is _absolutely_ NO way that I, Son-fucking-Hyejoo-"

" _Language_ ," Mrs. Baek warned.

"-would ever, _ever_ , not once in a _million_ years, complete _every single assignment_ given to me, and you're actually insane for thinking you-"

"Shut the hell up you brat," Haseul interrupted, rolling her eyes. "Can't you just move the... detention day? To a different day?" Haseul questioned, getting tired with everything about this conversation. She leaned on the counter, elbows holding her weight as she looked increasingly fed up by the minute. The lady stared at her for a minute before Haseul sighed again, "Whatever. We have something important to do after school, does that change anything?"

Mrs. Baek just shrugged. Haseul really wanted to punch that petty old bitch. But aggression got people nowhere, so instead, she stuck with the little angel on her shoulder telling her to hang on for a little more.

"Please?" She tried one last time.

"I can't do that. I apologize," Mrs. Baek finalized.

Haseul bit her tongue to keep herself from spewing ungodly words at her. With clenched fists, she walked away from the counter, marching off with Hyejoo and Chaewon following close behind.

"So, are we, like, going to school?" Hyejoo asked.

"Yes," Haseul quickly replied, wishing she had sunglasses and long, luscious hair to flick over her shoulder to really showcase how petty she felt right now.

"...Why."

Haseul looked over Hyejoo's shoulder to make sure no one was watching. "Pull the fire alarm."

"WH-"

" _Shhh_!!! Shut up!" Haseul hushed, whisper shouting. "Now that you're here you can't just leave with me!! Pull the fire alarm and I'll drive you guys back home."

"You're fucking kidding," Hyejoo whispered in disbelief. Haseul, her angelic, goody-two-shoes sister, is telling her to pull the fire alarm to escape the confines school? Well...

When did she get so cool??! Where was this Haseul when Hyejoo set the m-

"Just trust me. I can't dismiss you, and I know you'll cry if I get Yeojin back without you," Haseul said.

"Okay, why isn't anyone asking if I'm okay with this?!" Chaewon intervened. "I really am not interested in getting in trouble!!"

Suddenly, both pairs of eyes landed on Chaewon. Hyejoo smirked, a devilish idea on the tip of her tongue.

"Butterfly, why don't _you_ go and pull the fire alarm?" Hyejoo suggested, her evil chuckle when Chaewon's jaw dropped like nails on a chalkboard to Chaewon's ears.

"I just _know_ you're fucking with me now," Chaewon stated. "And where did you pull that sudden nickname from?! Butterfly... as if it increases your chances of getting me to break school rules!"

"I'll buy you any anime you want," Haseul chipped in.

Chaewon stared at her for a second before realizing she wasn't joking. "Do I look like a fucking weeb to you."

"What?" Haseul defended. "I just figured, since Hyejoo li-"

"SHSHHHSHHH-" Hyejoo cut off immediately, slapping her hand against Haseul's mouth.

"Give me like two hundred dollars and I'll do it," Chaewon ruled a deal, ignoring Hyejoo's peculiar actions. Haseul dragged out a long, exaggerated sigh.

"Chaewon. I'm a college kid. I eat ramen every day of the week. I can barely afford a pencil case. And. You're asking me. For two hundred... two hundred dollars."

"It was worth a shot," Chaewon sighed. "But seriously, Hyejoo's got a lot less to lose than I do."

"Oh, for Christ's sake-" Haseul growled as she walked towards the alarm to pull it herself. "Run to the fucking car, dipshits."

The loud, obnoxious ringing overhead quickly got the staff's attention, but Haseul couldn't exactly make out the words as she was too busy running towards the car like her life depended on it. She had no clue why Chaewon was screaming like a toddler on a roller coaster, but she had no time to acknowledge it before shoving them into the car, along with herself, and driving away from the school as fast as she possibly could. She really hoped she couldn't go to jail for this.

She watched the road in front of her, letting the car bask in complete silence for a few minutes, probably closer to the better half of an hour. She knew Chaewon was most likely on the verge of tears in the backseat, mourning her perfect attendance or whatever she could whine about. And Hyejoo was probably sleeping or something. As the adrenaline slowly seeped out of her veins, she could breathe a bit normally again. She looked down at her phone, lying in one of the cup holders, contemplating whether to tell the two girls what happens next or not. She continued following whatever directions it told her to, praying that everything can go smoothly.

Hyejoo looked out the window, watching everything zoom by. She doesn't think she's ever heard such an elongated silence in her life, it almost irked her. She felt Chaewon's body heat radiate onto her, despite her skin always being so cold. She traced the leather of the car seat, mindlessly looking at the cloudy sky, a thick fog casting over the world like a blanket.

She felt Chaewon's hand just barely skim over her own, causing her to jolt her head to the side to look at her. Chaewon was still only looking down at her lap when she fit her hand into Hyejoo's.

"Your hands are cold," Hyejoo stated in a whisper.

"Your hands are warm," Chaewon replied just as quietly. Hyejoo didn't know why a sudden blush covered her cheeks in a rosy pink, but she made sure to be facing opposite of Chaewon so she couldn't see. She reached into her backpack to fish out a sweatshirt and discarded it onto Chaewon's lap wordlessly. Hyejoo could feel Chaewon staring at the back of her head, questioning her motives.

"You're cold. Put it on," Hyejoo explained, still looking out the window. Chaewon's hand slipped out of her own as she put on the given apparel.

"Thanks," Chaewon mumbled.

Hyejoo looked over at her, small smile on her lips. "You look cute."

Chaewon wanted to bury her face into her hands, not knowing how to take the compliment. "Really?" She asked with a slightly red face.

"Huh?" Hyejoo questioned before registering that she had, in fact, said that last bit out loud. Well she can't just disregard it now! There wasn't really much of a way to save herself at this point, anyway. "Oh. I- uh, yeah. I meant you look cuter than you _normally_ do."

"I normally look cute?"

This wasn't really going as planned. "No! Well- yes? Not really? I don't know, you're not, exactly, um, hard on the eyes? But do not get my words twisted. I'm not thinking about you and your looks all day. Don't let one little compliment get to your head."

Chaewon just nodded and went back to looking down at her lap, and it was safe to say both of them were thoroughly embarrassed. Chaewon laughed a little. "That was weird. You're weird."

Hyejoo felt a weight lift off her shoulder at her light laughter. "I know. But you're-"

Before Hyejoo could finish, she was cut off by a loud gunshot firing what sounded like it could be oddly close to them.

"Shit," Haseul cursed under her breath, swerving the car quickly. "Oh- fuck- what the hell, oh my god. Shit."

"What?" Hyejoo would have jumped out of her seat if it weren't for her seatbelt. "What the fuck happened?!"

"God, we were so fucking close, too!!" Haseul groaned. Hyejoo immediately looked out the window, seeing the completely isolated road. She looked behind them, a car with a good amount of distance behind them, catching up quickly.

"Haseul!!! What is going on?!!" Hyejoo shouted again, becoming increasingly scared.

"I guess that douche who took Yeojin has guards or something- protecting his property. We were right there. About to pull into this dumbfuck's dungeon or whatever," Haseul explained hurriedly.

"What?? What do we even do from here then?!" Hyejoo exclaimed. "We have no clue where the flying fuck we are, have people who are apparently shooting at us on our tails, and a crying child on top of that to make matters even worse!" Hyejoo pointed at Chaewon, tears streaming down her cheeks as she feared her life.

The sound of glass shattering was an immediate indicator that they shot the back windshield. Chaewon's sobs couldn't even be heard beneath the loud screams emitting from the two sisters. Haseul stopped the car and grabbed her phone.

"SIRI CALL 911!!" Haseul shouted into her phone.

"WHY DIDN'T WE CALL THE COPS WHEN YEOJIN GOT KIDNAPPED?!" Hyejoo shouted back.

"WE ARE STUPID. AND IT WOULD MAKE A LOT LESS OF A CLIMACTIC STORY TO TELL LATER IN LIFE." Haseul couldn't get her useless phone to work before the car was too close for comfort. "Oh, for fucks sake!! Forget it! RUN, YOU STUPID CHILDREN!!"

Hyejoo started bolting in the direction Haseul brought them, which seemed to be the way they were just driving. "Why are we going this way?!"

"You want Yeojin back??" Haseul asked rhetorically.

Hyejoo didn't reply as she just focused on running, Chaewon close behind her while Haseul was a few meters ahead of both of them. Their feet pounded onto the road, the sound of gunshots closer to them and louder than they'd ever expect to hear in their life. Seconds turned into minutes, and Haseul definitely hasn't ran this much since that mile run in senior physical education. Everything was painful, but they had to endure it if they ever wanted to see Yeojin again. And even if they didn't, they just know their mother would never let them go for this.

Hyejoo grew so tired, legs feeling lifeless and limp as she achingly continued running, running as fast as her feet would go, going as far as her feet could take her, with Chaewon never too far behind. She was determined, she knew they was close. She was about to get her sister back. She almost welled up with tears joyfully, knowing that finally, after so much pain and confusion and heartache and hoping, that she was about to do it. She was going to see Yeojin again.

With that in mind, Hyejoo's pace quickened, her calves burning with the pain of a hundred knives searing into her muscle, but it would be so worth it in the end. Chaewon struggled to keep up, not experiencing the same adrenaline of saving a sister as Hyejoo- rather, her adrenaline was due to the constant fear for her life- yet she persisted nonetheless. They were going to be done soon. It would be over, and they could go back home... Home; a sweet word, Chaewon reminisced in the thought, smiling now, feeling like the air was somehow lighter between her and Hyejoo... that, after so many years, they might be reunited again.

She wasn't sure why she was excited. But it was kind of nice to know, in a way, that someone will always be there with you. It just so happens that the person turned out to be her childhood-friend-turned-teenage-enemy-turned-possible-friend-again.

Haseul stopped in front of the building- it looked like a regular house, for the most part, as long as you didn't look at the obviously outdated roofing and the fact that each window was blackened. "How the hell do we get in?" She murmured to herself, hearing the other two finally arrive.

She went to the other side of the house as the other two quickly followed, finally finding a door. She tried the doorknob despite knowing for a fact it would be locked. Hey- to be able to successfully kidnap a kid, you'd probably have to have at least some common sense. You know, disregarding the fact that kidnapping a child is completely out of the realms of common sense.

The gunshot noises came closer and closer to them, and, fueled by complete horror and overall need for this to be over as soon as possible, Chaewon kicked the door down, snapping the hinges into pieces. Haseul and Hyejoo stared with blown-out eyes at her, their mouths agape in utter shock. Cute little Chaewon could do that?!

"Let's go, you fucking losers!!" Chaewon whisper shouted. "We don't have all the time in the world, believe it or not!!"

At that, the three of them, as quietly as possible, stepped inside, it was completely dark except the light that came in from the kicked down door. It looked (and smelled) like an old basement, practically empty and very dusty.

"Found the light switch," Hyejoo said, moving to turn it on.

"Dumbass," Haseul scoffed as she slapped Hyejoo away from the switch.

"Ow??" Hyejoo whined as she placed her palm of her cheek, probably reddening from the impact. Haseul didn't even think of apologizing, though, just gave Hyejoo a glare that could kill.

"They'll know we're here. So while you're at it, shut the fuck up. I was planning on coming here in the afternoon, but since it's the morning, let's just fucking hope creep-o upstairs is asleep," Haseul explained. "And why would I trust you with anything? You put popcorn in a high voltage microwave for four fucking minutes."

"THAT'S WHAT IT SAID TO DO!!"

"The house was covered in smoke for thirty minutes. And the kitchen smelt burnt for three days. And can you-"

Before she could finish, the serenity that Haseul had imagined, the ease of taking Yeojin back while everyone was asleep, was quickly turned to fiction when many footsteps that most definitely didn't belong to Chaewon entered the room. Not even a split second passed before there was gunshots, yelling, and three fear-stricken girls running around like crazy against four armed men.

"WHAT THE FUCK- WHAT THE FUCK WHATTHEFUCK I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO PEE I HOPE YOU KNOW I REGRET GOING WITH YOU GUYS HOLY SHIT," Chaewon shouted as she ran in zigzagged patterns across the room. She read somewhere online that it decreases your chances of getting hit by a bullet, so even if she looks like an idiot, she'll take it.

She turned her head when the sound of someone collapsing to the ground echoed throughout the room. Her immediate thought was that it was Hyejoo or Haseul- shot, dead, fallen to the ground. But all she saw was one of the men on the ground, an unhealthy amount of blood pooling from his nose. And above him stood Haseul, fist still raised and clenched with blood on her knuckles. She was breathing heavily and Chaewon wanted to run to her, but before she could, one of the other men came up to her, one arm holding her in a chokehold and the other raising a gun to her head. Chaewon couldn't even speak, her stomach bubbling in fear, the fear of being totally oblivious to what happens next. She wanted Haseul to get out somehow, but when she had hands and he had a gun, it was obvious who had the upper hand. One wrong move and it was certainly over for her.

Her legs were shaking, and the other two men with guns never stopped shooting, and Hyejoo and Chaewon couldn't risk stopping to help Haseul. Haseul flinched when she heard the man cock the gun, ready to shoot. Tears flowed freely down her face, her legs kicking out, arms swinging to try and do anything she could.

"HELP!! PLEASE, PLEASE, HELP ME," Haseul shouted through her tears, getting harder to scream out and breathe as the man tightened his hold on Haseul. "HYEJOO!!! CHAEWON!!"

They felt so bad. They felt like assholes because neither of them made a move to help her. Even when she helped them, knocking out one of the men to lessen their chances of getting shot, and they didn't even have the courage to try and save her. Hyejoo knew that both of her sisters right now were in grave danger, and she was so fucking unhelpful and not contributing. She cried, her lungs hurt because of how loudly she cried, and she wished she could muster up the courage it takes to make an attempt to save her sister's life. And it was then that she realized that if she had trouble saving Haseul, standing right there in the same room as her, there was no way she'd be able to save Yeojin. She really was just a good for nothing sister. Even with her sister screaming for mercy and begging for her life, she was too cowardly to do anything. She watched as Chaewon, with tears covering her face, marched up to the man holding Haseul and gave him a weak push, and even that was more than Hyejoo could offer. She felt so fucking useless.

"Please..." Haseul sobbed, voice significantly quieter now, voice cracking with her sobs. "Don't... Don't hurt them. Please. Please. They're just kids." She knew that his eyes were on Chaewon, the weak girl trying to pull him away from Haseul. Chaewon watched his face turn to a scowl as his finger moved to press the trigger. Chaewon screamed, screamed as loud as she could, with the power of all the air in her lungs, her face red with anger and sadness and devastation. Not thinking at all, she swung her fist at the gun before the trigger could be fully pressed, knocking the gun out of his hands and flying towards Hyejoo, landing on the floor beside Hyejoo's feet. Chaewon used the rest of her force to strike the strongest punch she could to his jaw, the sound of bones snapping heard throughout the room and he fell to the ground, his jaw already bruising and visibly broken, practically unhinged from his skull.

Hyejoo paused, staring at the gun before running behind a wall to hide behind. The two remaining men also in the room still firing as Chaewon and Haseul ran up to Hyejoo after grabbing the gun from one of the fallen men, sitting behind the wall that separates them from the gunmen. They were such easy targets now, they had to be quick. "Hyejoo, grab the gun and shoot them," Chaewon instructed.

"What the fuck??!" Hyejoo shouted over the booming sound of gunshots and destruction, her feet unwilling to move from her hiding place behind the wall. Maybe Chaewon had two heads, because by the way Hyejoo looked at her as if she were insane, she made it feel like Chaewon _didn't_ just offer her the best bet they'd be able to take if they wanted to get out alive.

"Listen- you brought me into this mess-" Chaewon responded, reloading the handgun that sat with the ammo she could find- "and you're gonna get me out of it." She held out the gun to Hyejoo, signaling for her to take it from her hands.

"There is no fucking way that I am-"

"Unless you want me to leave you here by yourself, I'd recommend you shut up and just take it." Haseul stared at her expectantly.

Reluctantly, with a hateful glint shooting towards Chaewon, not breaking eye contact for a second, Hyejoo took the gun into her own shaky hands, unsure of how she was actually going to efficiently do this. Exhaling a short breath, she licked her lips, mouth suddenly dry, and swallowed thickly. She closed her eyes tight, _you can do this, Hyejoo. If you want to save your piece of shit sister, you gotta save yourself, too. You can definitely do this._

Nodding to herself at the pep talk being played in her conscience, her foot took a slow, unsure step forward, her entire leg trembling with the movement, fear immediately shooting up her spine like ice and freezing the blood running through her veins, thickening her blood like water turned to mud. The hand hanging loosely at her side suddenly shot up to her eyes, covering them with her palm as she forced her body, against all of her will, to take another step forward. Every time she swallowed it felt like an eternity until her throat bobbed in response, gun held tight against her chest. She could feel how with each sharp intake of air her chest expanded violently, falling as she let out slow, heavy exhales. Her ankles felt glued together, so unwilling to move, but the presence of both Chaewon and Haseul behind her urged her to continue with her onward journey beyond the safety of the wall, to face the first obstacle they had, only the first of probably many preventing her from getting Yeojin.

"Go!" Chaewon shooed her, voice rushed and shouty.

Hyejoo whined, stomping in place fearfully and shutting her eyes as tight as they could close. "I really can't!" She responded truthfully, anxiety rising in anticipation for whatever came next.

"You have to be kidding me..." Chaewon rolled her eyes. "So we're just gonna be stuck here forever?! Is that what you'd rather opt for?!" Chaewon growled, gritting her teeth.

Almost on instinct, Hyejoo turned around to face the stressed, angered girl. She let out a bitter-sounding laugh at Chaewon's words, shaking her head. "Well then why didn't you go ahead and face the guys?? Don't you even try to complain to me, when this entire time, you have done close to nothing to benefit me or my sister!! And suddenly you start caring when your life is put into danger. Funny."

"Oh?" Chaewon smiled, something grim behind her face as her eyes squeezed shut. "Nothing. Nice to know that my contribution to you means nothing-"

"It's just that you did absolutely n-"

"Would you just-!" Chaewon's voice echoed throughout the room, exploding with fury, hair gripping tight at her scalp. Hyejoo stared with squinted eyes at her until she dared to speak again. "Just use the fucking gun and get us out of here, Hyejoo. I'm tired of this," Chaewon sighed, voice dropping significantly, pitch lowered and sound down to a smaller than regular voice. At those words, Hyejoo crossed her arms tighter, holding the gun with a more enclosed grip, feeling like tightening her fist until it snapped into pieces in her hand. Before Hyejoo could spit back, her mouth was interrupted by an unusually loud gunshot, followed by dust flying into the air.

After a short coughing fit, Hyejoo lifted her head to find Chaewon's wide eyes staring at her. Looking down her figure consciously, she thought there was something on her, but after inspection when she looked back up to Chaewon, she heard her voice become a lot more fragile than it had been previously.

"Did..." She caught her words in her throat. "Did you try to shoot me?"

"What?!" Hyejoo jumped back, shocked Chaewon would even think that. "No! Of course not! I-I don't know what happened, I promise. I wouldn't try to hurt you." Chaewon's eyes softened at those words, warming her heart for some stupid reason. She was supposed to be mad at her. "Not anymore, at least."

Chaewon stared at her for a minute. "Then prove it."

"Huh?"

"Save me, then. Shoot them," Chaewon explained.

Hyejoo groaned, unsure of how she was going to do this. Tears pooled back into her eyes as she ran out from behind the wall, tears escaping her eyes freely as she cocked the gun and shot as many times as she could, trying her best to hit the men. She knew she would be no good at this- she's never even held a gun in her life prior to this- but she had to do anything at this point. Mostly against her will, since she knows that if it was up to her she would not have been the one shooting.

Her eyes widened when one of the men hit the ground, signifying that she actually did shoot one of them. She took in a breath, body still shaking, but she tried forcing her hand to be completely still. His gun was raised right at her, mirroring Hyejoo's exact position. Now, it was just a matter of aiming and shooting. The odds weren't in Hyejoo's favor, but as her finger pulled the trigger, she closed her eyes. A few seconds passed. Slowly, she reopened them, looking at what she'd expected to be the final man lying on the ground, playing a part in the blood that stains the floor. When she saw him staring back at her, she realized she hadn't done so.

The man grinned, and quickly, Hyejoo tried shooting again. "Fuck," she muttered as it wouldn't budge, even after cocking it several times. "Chae? Chae..! I'm out of ammo."

"Uh- shit," Chaewon mumbled, looking around. "Punch him."

Hyejoo nervously laughed. "You're kidding, right?" Chaewon shook her head in denial. "Wh-what? I can't.. I can't do that!"

A bullet missed Hyejoo by mere inches.

"If you want to live, then I'd suggest you do!" Chaewon argued.

Hyejoo ran as fast as she could, kicking him in the stomach, but not even tumbling him over. She swatted at his wrist with an attempt to get the gun out of his hand, but nothing worked. He clenched his fist into a tight ball and pulled it back before Hyejoo caught and and ducked before any damage could be done to her. She noticed the blood that was now decorating her shoes and she couldn't even groan in complaint, too busy fighting for her life.

"Just punch him!!" Haseul shouted. They kept egging her on, getting on Hyejoo's nerves, and at the same time, she was trying not to let this man break any of her precious bones, which she'd prefer to stay intact.

"Will you guys shut the fuck up!" Hyejoo yelled back and punched the guy harder in the chest. Chaewon looked at Haseul, suddenly getting an idea.

"Why should we shut the fuck up, when you've been running your mouth this entire time, since I've started helping you!" Chaewon shouted to Hyejoo. "And I bet we didn't even fucking need you anyway, considering how you have yet to even hurt the man, while both of us have two knocked out."

"I shot one!" Hyejoo replied, stepping on the man's foot as harsh as she could. He shouted in pain, releasing the gun. Quickly, she kicked it as far away as she could with her foot, delivering a weak slap to his face.

"Is that all you're good for?" Chaewon asked. "Barely fucking damaging people without the help of a weapon? Giving someone a weak slap across the face like it's going to, what, hurt them? When was the last thing you've done something right in your life, Hyejoo?"

"Chaewon..." Haseul cautioned.

"Because I can't fucking remember it," Chaewon barked, ignoring Haseul. "You destroyed our friendship, destroyed your one shot at a good social life, destroyed your family bond, and expect everyone else to fix it for you. Yeojin gets kidnapped and you run to everyone else except yourself for help. You vandalized my car, vandalized it because you couldn't handle the fact that I got a new friend, and expect me to repair the friendship. You rely on everyone else for your own life."

"How am I expecting you to repair the friendship??" Hyejoo yelled, veins flooding with confusion and annoyance. "All you've ever done was call me out for the shit I did before!! Why can't we focus on what I'm like to you now, because you're still a _bitch_!" Hyejoo grunted, emphasizing the last word with a strong shove to the man's shoulder. Chaewon's idea of aggravating her seemed to be working great. "And a fake friend, telling me you'd-" _shove_ \- "stick with me-" _shove_ \- "forever!" _Shove_. At this point, the man was stuck between Hyejoo and the wall, and Hyejoo took in a sharp breath. "You want me to fucking hurt someone so badly? Fine. I'll do it." She pulled her arm back, other hand on the man's shoulder, keeping him against the wall, and she struck his cheek with a mean punch. He yowled and kneed her stomach, causing her to curl over and wrap her arms around herself. He launched forward and punched the back of her head, earning a loud growl from her. She stood up straight again and grabbed the back of his neck, bringing his head down until it smashed against the ground with an ugly smack. Hyejoo stepped a bit away as he lifted his face up, weakly trying to get up onto his knees, but Hyejoo used her foot to bring his back down flat to the ground, the blood that stuck to the bottom of her shoes now printing onto his shirt.

"You fucking bitch," Hyejoo cussed at him, stomping her foot onto his back, listening to his groans of pain. "Helping this disgusting man kidnap a fucking child. You disgust me. You deserve to fucking die." It was darker over where Hyejoo stood, less light from outside able to reach where she pushed the man to, so she couldn't see too well. But that was the last thought on her mind, blinded by her rage as she kicked the back of his head. "What kind of sick freak do you have to be to willingly do this? Huh? And trying to take some more kids' lives while you're at it too, right?" Hyejoo spat at him.

She kneeled down, his blood collecting on the knees of Hyejoo's pants as they came in contact with the floor. She pulled him up by his hair and looked at his beaten face, red and purple, blood stained. She couldn't tell if he was alive or dead. She let go of his hair and dropped his head back down onto the floor. She stood up, watching small amounts of blood ooze down her knees and seeing the inky redness of it on her hands. She looked up at Chaewon and Haseul, who were running over to her, Chaewon enveloping her in a big hug, uncaring about the mess.

"Maybe you went a bit overboard with hurting him, and we both went a bit overboard with our words," Chaewon said into Hyejoo's shoulder. "But I still think you did great." Hyejoo smiled, a small laugh forcing its way from her mouth. She wrapped her hands around Chaewon, letting the moment die down in each other's arms. Hyejoo regulated her breathing, eyes closing as she became so tired. Every part of her hurt so badly.

"Not to ruin the moment," Haseul barged in. "But we still have to go get Yeojin."

They nodded and let go of each other, following Haseul as she made her way up the stairs. This was it. They were finally going to get Yeojin back. But what happens after this? In terms of Chaewon and her?

Of course, she wants her sister back. This isn't her thinking that she likes Yeojin being kidnapped because it brings her closer to Chaewon. But she is thankful that in its own twisted way, destiny showed Hyejoo the way back to Chaewon again. Even if it's still sometimes tense between them. So maybe this is it. Maybe this is where their story ends, and they won't have to see each other again. But for some reason... Hyejoo really wants to see her again. As in everyday again. Like when they were little, with each other for hours and hours. But they're not young anymore. They have new friends. Different friends. They've both changed. Maybe it's for the better, maybe it's for the worse. But when Hyejoo thinks over it again, she decides that maybe it doesn't matter, and maybe time doesn't heal. It hasn't healed the hurtful patches that ache when regretful subjects are brought up. Time doesn't heal anything, but time numbs greatly. Time has numbed the wounds that were made to split Hyejoo and Chaewon apart. Time has numbed these scars, but they will never be healed. And that's okay. You don't have to erase your past to create a future, you just have to reflect upon it to make everything better. And that's all it really takes. So Hyejoo thinks she's okay with it. Because Chaewon really isn't so bad after all.

They pause in front of a door, because Haseul swears she heard something. Something that sounds oddly similar to Yeojin when she complains about getting assigned a double sided homework sheet. The kind of whine that's like "I don't want to do this because it's stupid and excessive, but if I don't I'm going to have to stay in for recess." It's been a while since Haseul has last seen Yeojin, so she's probably not like that anymore, though.

Oh, who is she kidding? Yeojin's not one to change her bratty ways.

She opened the door with that thought in mind, being met only with an old man. "What the-" she began.

"Hmm?" he hummed, turning around to greet them. "How the hell did you guys get here? Where is my security?" He went to close the door, but Hyejoo immediately rushed forward, getting in before it closed, while the other two were hopelessly knocking on the door, shouting for entrance.

"We're here for Yeojin," Hyejoo announced. "We're here to take her back. So give her to us." He only laughs in reply. "If we can knock out four of your bodyguards, or whatever the hell they were, then I'd imagine we could take out an old scrub like you. So give us Yeojin, and all will be good. Alright?"

"There's only one of you, now, though. It is no longer 'we', now it's just 'you'," he pointed out.

Hyejoo sighed, swallowing her fear. This was really her own show, now. She wasn't scared of him, but the thought that if she fails to bring re back, it would be completely her fault. No one else to blame it on, even if she wanted to. Yeojin's life was truly in her hands now. "Give me my sister."

"And what makes you so sure that you can take Yeojin?" The man tested, raising an eyebrow. Hyejoo almost suppressed a laugh, but decided to let it slide from her lips in mockery towards the man anyway. He didn't look all too menacing and the fact he was probably more than triple her age made his features look anything but threatening.

"What makes you so sure you could take my little sister without going through me?" Hyejoo responded with a cheshire grin before she attempted to throw a kick his way, confident with her fighting skills now after battling one of the previous men, but immediately being blocked by his iron grip around her ankle, easily making her trip to the floor. With a squeal, she looked back up at the man who now held her to the ground with his foot against her chest, and suddenly Hyejoo wished she had taken Chaewon with her. Or Haseul.

She couldn't give that any additional thought, not when she could hear Yeojin's distant whine. Her face turned into a scowl, trying so desperately to get this man's foot off her chest, but he was strong- so much stronger than her.

"Get off, you fucking-!" Hyejoo shouted, voice unbearably loud in even her own ears. But the man was persistent, pressing harder against her chest, heartbeat thudding underneath his shoe. "Who the fuck do you think you are, huh?!? You took my fucking sister and now, what, you're planning to kill me?! You're a fucking psychopath!! You're INSANE. I hope you rot in hell, bastard! Burn in the hands of the devil and watch me not even bat an eye! I hate you! Inexplicably so!"

The man only laughed, setting off every one of Hyejoo's nerves that were already burning under the hottest flames. "You know what? I'll give you one last visit with your dear little sister," he bargained with the creepiest smirk Hyejoo had ever seen. "After that, she is mine. Got it?"

"In your dreams," Hyejoo spat.

"I could kill you without letting you say your goodbye to Yeojin instead," he stated nonchalantly.

Hyejoo growled, every last part of her yelling at her to punch him right then and there, but she knew better. So she obliged, "Fine."

She knew she wasn't going to die, though. She'd make sure of it.

The man grabbed Hyejoo by the arm and yanked her up to her feet, practically dragging her to the door that separated Hyejoo from her sister. This was it. Hyejoo could feel her heart warm. This is when she'll finally get to see her sister again. Finally get to save her.

He opens the door with a quick wrist, almost hurriedly rushing Hyejoo and himself into the room. Once Hyejoo heard the door close shut, she felt his grip loosen. She still stared at him, knowing that when she turned around, she would be right there, with her sister. That right now, she's in the same room as her.

Holy shit. Hyejoo could almost smile. But she didn't want the man to see that. He can't know her weaknesses.

"H-Hyejoo..?" A careful voice emerged from the sickeningly silent room. Hyejoo felt the hot tears force their way into her eyes.

Her body turned inch by inch, taking her time as she turned to completely face Yeojin. She gasped quietly. It was her. She was really there. It wasn't a dream this time, no- this time, it was reality. And Hyejoo couldn't stop the tear that slipped from her eye.

"Yeojin."

She ran up to her sister, holding her, not caring if it was too tight. She felt her tears escape her eyes, hushed sobs leaving her as she held her dear sister once again. Sure, she might've been a brat that Hyejoo really wanted to beat up sometimes- but she wouldn't trade it for the world. For the first time in what felt like a while, she felt truly proud of herself. Proud she found Yeojin. And proud to be her family.

All this time, Yeojin was in this dark room, no where to go- no bed, no windows, it was like she had nothing. She truly missed Hyejoo. And she almost couldn't believe she was even thinking that, considering how Hyejoo has always only been her bossy older sister.

But she was also her cool older sister. The one she looked up to her entire life. The one she copied and watched and aspired to be. To even be half of Hyejoo would be absolutely awe-striking to Yeojin, having been growing up by her side forever. And she wouldn't know what she'd do without her, now that she was almost taken away from her. She knew that she would get her out of this place now, she knew it.

Hyejoo couldn't speak between her cries. She desperately clung onto Yeojin, praying that she'd never have to let go again. She pulled slightly away, to get a glimpse of Yeojin's face, tear-stained and red, but still just like it's always been. Hyejoo wiped Yeojin's tears with her thumbs, a small smile unknowingly invading her face. "I missed you," Hyejoo choked out, whispering.

The man at the other side of the room cleared his throat. "Hyejoo... Well, now that you've seen your sister again, it's time for you to leave. Forever. Got it?"

Hyejoo wiped her tears before swiftly turning to face him. "Let me take her with me."

"Absolutely not."

Hyejoo licked her lips, thinking of something, anything, to get them out of there. Alive, at that. "Please. I'll do anything," she pleaded, ready to go onto her knees and beg, but she stood confidently in front of him. The man didn't talk for a moment. She gripped Yeojin's hand tightly in her own.

"You came here with somebody, correct?" The man began, and Hyejoo nodded. He hummed, pausing for a second before starting again, "Bring her to me." Hyejoo's mouth dropped open. "Or I will be the one to keep Yeojin," he declared.

Hyejoo looked down at her feet, knowing the choice was far too difficult to make. Chaewon has been with her for so much of the journey- not only this one, but her life-long one. She might've done things that hurt Hyejoo in the past, but... Hyejoo couldn't even lie to herself anymore. She has grown far too attached to Chaewon at this point to even try to convince herself otherwise. And so her heart clenched in the most agonizingly brutal way as she remembered her sister, her blood, standing right there behind her. The devil had lit a gruesome fire deep inside of Hyejoo's heart, burning her throat with words she refused to speak. She knew what was morally right and personally wrong, she knew good and bad and dark and light. And she couldn't fight anymore. She knows that she is too weak. She is weak without Chaewon. She is weak without Yeojin. She is weak, and she wished she could do anything else. Guilt was eating her alive. But she came here for Yeojin. And so, she will leave with her, too.

"I will bring her to you."


	6. six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw// some violence

"Is that so?" He said in the acidic tone he always speaks with. "You'll bring her to me..?" The room felt quieter than silent for the beat of a moment before he began laughing— no, _cackling_ , at Hyejoo. How completely complaint she could be when threatened with her sister's life— it was like tempting a kitten with a toy mouse. She could act so tough, but when her sweet little fantasy ended and reality opened the door for her, she so suddenly was willing to do as much as to give her best friend away without a second thought. It was so, utterly _pathetic_.

Hyejoo felt belittled. She felt so small and unmoving underneath his evil glare, his glare that told her over and over again how absolutely crazy she's become. How his game was only now coming into play, while the past was barely their exposition; he hasn't even had any of his fun yet, anyway.

Hyejoo couldn't even fucking _do_ anything but stand there— stand there and choke on her own tears at the monster she's watching herself become. She didn't even know when she started crying, but she couldn't stop, couldn't prevent each tear from its inevitable fall, causing the greatest downpour, all originating from her dying eyes, carrying all and no emotion at once. All she wanted was to save someone, who knew she'd be hurting herself along the way.

But she didn't want to linger on that thought, because it brought her mind to how much it must hurt Chaewon. For Hyejoo to so easily accept a betrayal on her behalf. And she doesn't even know. She doesn't even know.

"What are you waiting for?" he asked in a menacingly quiet voice. "Bring me the girl."

"H-Hyejoo," Yeojin began.

"No," Hyejoo stopped Yeojin. "I'll get you out of here. Family before friends, right?" She tried her most genuine smile even when she knew it would break. All she wanted was for Yeojin to not worry anymore. She's safe now, because her big sister is here, and she won't let her go again. She just wants her to know that.

Yeojin looked unsure. "You're positive?"

"Definitely." Hyejoo grabbed Yeojin's hand in her endlessly shaking one, trying to keep herself on her feet before her knees would give out. "Don't worry about a thing."

Yeojin smiled up at Hyejoo with tears eyes. She never doubted her sister. She knew she'd find her.

Her smile was the same youthful one as it was before, and Hyejoo realized that nothing had changed. For that small moment, she felt like it was just her and Yeojin again, sitting on her mattress and talking about anything at all, because that's the way Yeojin would smile. Even when she felt like the world could be against her, as long as Hyejoo was there, she could beat them all.

Hyejoo let go of her hand, brushed a strand of Yeojin's hair behind her ear, and, in slow-paced steps, walked towards the door. If she'd open it, she'd meet Chaewon right there. Hyejoo could explode right now, that's how tight her chest felt. Her hand rested atop the knob with a metal sound echoing through her bones, reminding her of the night Yeojin must have gotten stolen. The way she so carefully went to open her door before her mother saw her. If only things could have been different that night.

But was it selfish to say, in a way, she was almost glad for the past few days to have taken place? It was a terrible thought, she knew, but because of it she had reunited with Chaewon. Chaewon, who showed her the way to friendship and trust once again. Chaewon, who she'd now give up to the man to secure her sister's safety.

God-fucking- _damnit_. There was no escape. No matter what Hyejoo did now, she would suffer. Fuck.

"Go!" The man shouted when Hyejoo stood there for too long, unmoving.

Hyejoo sobbed out as she opened the door, sealing her lips shut as tight as she could, closing her eyes completely shut, hoping to wake up from this horrid nightmare. But it wasn't a dream, to Hyejoo's dismay, it was the most cruel reality to live by, the unforgiving taste of life; so bitter to the tongue, unable to leave unless your plan b is to drown it out. There was no way to do so. There was no left or right, no correctness or wrongfulness, just thousands and thousands of paths that all lead you to the same dead end, with all emphasis on the dead part. Fuck this all, fuck this damned world because Hyejoo couldn't cuss it out enough. Nothing would describe the way her heart was continuously beating and still completely dead, draped in a black curtain that attempted to shield it from the world. But the curtain was sheer, it had only masked so much. Because maybe all there was to the world _was_ this, it always seemed that the terrible had drowned out the well.

She wanted so bad to believe in hope. That the sweet seven letter word of _destiny_ could save her today. And yet it never prevails.

Maybe Haseul was right. Everything was kind of useless anyway.

And maybe Chaewon was right. Hyejoo wasn't strong enough to do any of this.

The world was always right. Hyejoo somehow always managed to be wrong.

" _Wolfie_ ," the soft voice called, sweeter than ever before as it basked in the joy of her presence, seeing she hasn't died. "I was s-so worried." Arms flew around Hyejoo's body.

Hyejoo's face was blank. She couldn't begin to process anything. Only the beautiful girl wrapped in her arms, watering eyes looking brightly up into her own. They always sparkled like that. But Hyejoo was still frozen. She couldn't do anything at all.

" _God_ , Hyejoo, I thought you died..." She muttered as she cried into Hyejoo's shoulder. Hyejoo didn't care that she was dampening her clothes. She held onto her tighter. She was so afraid to let go. Even when she was a crying mess, she was the most beautiful thing Hyejoo's laid her eyes on.

"Chae... have I ever told you how gorgeous you are?" Hyejoo sighed. She was sinking into the water she tried so hard to float above. It was unstoppable now. It was happening faster than ever. Chaewon met Hyejoo's eyes again, looking up at Hyejoo as if she was looking at some type of mythical creature come to life. It was picturesque. Hyejoo wished life could be like this forever.

"I really mean it," Hyejoo confirmed softly. "You're beautiful. Thank you for sticking by my side."

Butterfly was a fitting name for her, Hyejoo figured. Fitting because she watched the way she could bloom right into her heart, and for that moment, it was alive again, she was revived and everything felt okay. Fitting because the only thing that helped Hyejoo to go on was her, guiding her as if floating through the air with majestic wings of bright blue color. Fitting because Hyejoo was venomous, and then she met Chaewon and became peaceful. Hyejoo had a lot to thank for Chaewon.

"You're the best, Butterfly," Hyejoo whispered, hands digging deeply into Chaewon's shirt, scared for her to slip away and realize that Hyejoo was still a poison, surely about to ruin Chaewon's life.

"Hyejoo?" Chaewon asked, voice quiet.

"Mhm?" Hyejoo hummed.

"You believe in dreams, right? That's what you told me."

Hyejoo paused as she remembered it. She also remembered the way she promised the Chaewon of her dreams to be loved. She swallows down the guilt. "Of course."

Chaewon didn't respond for a moment, just clung on tighter to Hyejoo. "I keep having this dream. Where I'm in love with you."

Hyejoo felt a tear slip down her cheek, but she nodded instead of acknowledging it.

"I-I'm scared. Because I thought it was in my head. But it's in my chest now, too," Chaewon admitted. "I can't stop loving you. I tried not to. I tried so hard not to, because I know you won't love me back. I'm sorry. But I love you."

Hyejoo couldn't respond.

"A lot."

She couldn't breathe.

"But it's okay if you don't feel the same way. I realized that I loved you all the time. I needed you since we were kids. I loved you forever."

Hyejoo wanted to let her go but she couldn't. She was afraid.

Because she loved her too.

And there was no way out.

She held onto Chaewon's arms and looked back into her eyes. Then her lips. Chaewon couldn't speak anymore because Hyejoo pushed her lips onto hers, trying to convey the way she's fallen deeply for Chaewon, her lips slow and meaningful atop Chaewon's. It was better than she could have imagined, the way two souls could easily mend into one, the way Chae's soft lips would feel on her own chapped ones.

Hyejoo pulled her lips away, resting her forehead on Chaewon's. "I love you too." She could feel the way Chaewon smiled.

She heard the door open again, revealing the man, angry and impatient. Their heads jerked towards the door as he leaned on its frame.

"You're not one to your promise, are you, Hyejoo?" He asked.

"W-wh—"

"Chaewon," he said with a smile. "Do you know what your beloved friend over here was seconds away from doing?"

"Don't," Hyejoo warned. "I wasn't going to."

He only laughed. "You know very well that you were. Have you forgotten? Your baby sister is just dying to see freedom again. You vowed to her her safety. You know that you're just too moldable to give anyone your true words." He looked over at Chaewon. "Do you really think she loves you?"

"I.." Chaewon started.

"Before you answer, I should tell you this: her plan was to bring you to me in order to save her _precious_ sister."

Chaewon looked quickly over to Hyejoo, her expression showing exactly how hurt she was. Hyejoo shook her head in denial.

"Sh-She wouldn't do that," Chaewon said.

"Yes," he cackled. "Yes, she would. But since she's being too slow, I guess I'll have to do it myself..."

Chaewon backed away quickly, looking at both the people in front of her as if they were monsters. "G-get away!! Both of you!"

"Please, Chae—"

"Don't even talk to me!" Chaewon shouted.

The man smiled the widest, most grim grin you could ever see as he spared one last glance towards Hyejoo. "You had your chance, darling," he stated simply. Hyejoo wanted to throw up, her stomach twisted in knots that could never be undone. Her eyes couldn't close though, forcing her to watch everything no matter how gruesome it may get.

He stepped closer to Chaewon, listening to her scream at the top of her lungs as if he enjoyed it. He laughed under his breath at her, laughed at how, despite them might having the upper hand with two against one, neither did anything to fight back— nevermind run away. Hyejoo stood there and watched it all, her legs frozen still, not moving even if she wanted to.

"You lied," Chaewon whispered, eyes full of sadness boring right into Hyejoo's as the man clutched both her arms held held her defenseless body. "You don't love me."

"Chaewon, no—" Hyejoo cried, but Chaewon was quicker.

Tears silently fell down her cheeks as she softly interrupted, "But I still love you."

Hyejoo's mouth was hung agape, a response at the tip of her tongue yet never verbalizing itself. There was nothing she could do or say anymore to make this right. She messed everything up. She always messed everything up.

"Run along now, Hyejoo. And grab your sister while you're at it. I'll have your friend watch you leave her fate in my arms, hm?" He hummed.

"Fuck you," Hyejoo cursed with all the nastiness her voice could convey.

"Make it quick. Or I'll take the both of them."

Hyejoo took in a shallow breath, even though her lungs felt pointless at the moment because the only thing she could feel was the way her heart pounded so violently it hurt, warning her from the break that was just moments away. Advising her to close her eyes and fall asleep forever, because it would be easy and painless, yet she wouldn't relent. She would find a way out of this, somehow. Somehow. In any way she possibly can.

She opened the door that lead her back to Yeojin, who looked happy beyond belief to see Hyejoo came back. Hyejoo smiled meaninglessly back at her, shutting the door behind her. She listened to her shoes pat against the hard floor as she kneeled before Yeojin. She took her small hands into her own, hot tears like acid on Hyejoo's skin sliding down her cheeks as she stared directly into Yeojin's eyes. She was so stuck. The two biggest puzzle pieces in her life, having to chose one to be taken away from her completely. There was no right answer. Both were insanely wrong.

Her little sister. By her side since the day she was born. And no matter how annoying she could be at times, that wouldn't take away a thing. Hyejoo would never trade it for the world. She remembers all the things Yeojin would tell her because she had no one else to trust. She remembers all the times Yeojin would throw a fit because Hyejoo chose a show she didn't like on the television. She remembers when Yeojin would get mad at her and resolve it with her stupid, yet undeniably funny apologies. The way she could never give a serious 'sorry' because it felt too unnatural for her. The way she clung onto Hyejoo when there was no other shoulder to cry on. When it felt like Hyejoo was the only person that cared about her problems. Hyejoo remembers it all. How could she forget?

"Yeojin," Hyejoo called beneath her breath. "I'll always be with you. Okay?"

Yeojin's smile slowly sunk. "W-what do you—mean?"

Hyejoo couldn't even bare the guilt that came with keeping the eye contact. A new round of tears found their way into Hyejoo's eyes again, flooding them until they forced themselves out. She couldn't even pretend to be strong anymore. "I tried everything. I promise."

Yeojin was silent as she processed the words, unable to cry or even say anything in return. She took her hands slowly from Hyejoo as she tore her gaze away from her, looking down at her feet. Her hands clamped together behind her back, holding onto herself because she was the only person she could trust at this point. Not even her own sister anymore. Not even the big sister that used to always be there for her. Hyejoo changed. Yeojin knew this because if this were the same Hyejoo she knew, she would've done anything in a heartbeat for Yeojin. But when it came down to Chaewon or her— she should've known this was coming. She knew she always had a soft spot for Chaewon, even when she said she hated her. Because unlike everyone else, Yeojin could see right through her. Yeojin knew Hyejoo better than anyone else. She knows when she's telling the truth. But she could tell in the way Hyejoo would say she despises Chaewon that there was a sort of longing hidden beneath her voice, one that came from the depths of her heart. She loved Chaewon. Yeojin always knew this. And Hyejoo hasn't realized it. Hasn't realized how much she knows about her. Because even though she tries keeping those secrets to herself, the truth always gets to Yeojin. Always. And right now, the truth is that Hyejoo cares more about Chaewon being safe than her.

"Yeojin. Please," Hyejoo begged, taking Yeojin's face in her palms as she stood up, towering a few inches over her as she looked down in an attempt to meet her eyes, but she wasn't looking back at her. Yeojin's hands encircled both of Hyejoo's wrists and carefully brought them away from her cheeks and back to Hyejoo's sides, proceeding to leave her hands dangling almost lifelessly at her sides.

"You love her," Yeojin said. "More than you care for me."

Hyejoo closed her eyes. Her stomach hurt so badly, but it couldn't compare to the tearing deep in her chest. Why couldn't she see that this was such a difficult decision? "I tried so hard, Yeojin."

Yeojin looked up to meet Hyejoo's waiting eyes. Except now, Yeojin's was finally revealing how weak she was. "Not hard enough." She turned away, her back facing Hyejoo. "Go. Save your princess," she said with a certain type of quiet scorn.

Hyejoo held her breath. She didn't know what to do. "I tried so _fucking_ hard." Her voice was raising, almost angry now as she tried with all her might to convey how much she didn't want to do this. "But there's no other way, Yeojin. There's nothing else I can do!"

"Yeah, there is," Yeojin laughed in spite of herself. "Realizing that you only have so many sisters. But people like Chaewon come and go. All the t-time," Yeojin's voice broke, moving her arm to wipe at the waterworks from her eyes.

"Stop that. You don't even understand," Hyejoo growled. " _Why_ are you being so fucking _difficult_ right now?! Why can't you fucking see that all I wanted to—"

" _Shut the hell up_!!" Yeojin shouted, turning back around with a scowl on her face. She was breathing in heaves. Hyejoo stared at her. "What the fuck have you ever done for me? What was all this hassle even for, if you weren't even gonna save me in the end?"

Hyejoo didn't know what to say. But her anger got the best of her before she could think of a reasonable response. "Maybe you're right, Yeojin. I shouldn't have even bothered with a stupid brat like you, anyways. I thought that you'd have some sympathy for me. But it turns out you only care about yourself."

"You're fucking _joking_ , right? Cause I hope to _god_ you are. You're _sick. I'm_ the one who's fucking wrong because I don't want to be locked up my entire life?! You know what, fuck you, Hyejoo! I should've known better than to count on you." Yeojin didn't even know what to say next. She just wanted to make it hurt. "You're the worst sister I could have ever had. And to think I thought I could trust you."

Hyejoo bit her lip to hold in the gasp she almost made. She tried to make it seem like she wasn't crying. But she was. She was hurt. "W-well, you're just— a dumb kid who's too stupid to direct herself away from getting kidnapped. It was _avoidable_ , you know. But you're just too f-fucking _stupid_ to see. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't even have to save you. You only have _yourself_ to blame. Don't even t- _try_ to say it's my fault."

"IT IS," Yeojin yelled out. "IT IS YOUR FUCKING FAULT. GET OUT OF MY FACE." Yeojin sucked in a breath, her entire body shaking. "Get out—out of— my _face_ before I spit on you," she stammered through tears.

"No!" Hyejoo shouted back. "You want to be saved so badly? _Fine_." She grabbed Yeojin's arm forcefully and dragged her out the door with her, bringing her into the hallway where the man patiently held Chaewon. Hyejoo's grip on Yeojin was bruising, tighter than it should have been, but she didn't want Yeojin to run from her. She wanted her to see and feel what Hyejoo feels right now, to recognize that it's not fucking _amusing_ to be picking and choosing like this. "Don't even close your fucking eyes," Hyejoo whispered to Yeojin. " _Watch_. If you wanted safety, well, here it fucking _is_."

Yeojin was fighting to get herself out from Hyejoo's grip, kicking her legs and crying loudly. What the fuck was she doing?! What insane point was Hyejoo even trying to make?!!

Hyejoo looked up to Chaewon, how she looked so disgusted at the way Hyejoo was treating Yeojin. How her face morphed into a look of disapproval at her odd behavior. Hyejoo gasped and released Yeojin, as if suddenly realizing what she was doing. Yeojin grunted and fell to her knees, looking down at her bruising arm.

"Fuck, Yeojin, I'm so fucking sorry... I-I don't even know what I was doing, ah, shit—" she hit herself with her palm, cradling her forehead as if getting a headache— "I don't.. I can't even explain why I did that..."

Hyejoo looked back up to Chaewon. Then the man. She's done more wrong than right today. She had to fix this. "Let her go," Hyejoo declared, but said it softer than she meant it to come out.

"Why?" he challenged. Hyejoo had to fix this, one way or another. To make one last attempt.

"Take me instead." Hyejoo lowered her head in defeat. "Let the two of them go."

He was surprised, but not more than Chaewon and Yeojin were. Instantly, he let Chaewon go, letting her fly from his arms. The room was quiet for what felt like days. Time stopped moving as Hyejoo advanced towards the man, not looking at anything except the ground on which she walked.

"Hyejoo, fucking _please, please_ don't, oh god," Chaewon pleaded. "You can't."

"Shh," Hyejoo shushed quietly, not turning around to look. Her heart would've broken impossibly further if she did. "I told Yeojin I'd save her. And I can't let you stay with him. It's the only way." Hyejoo raised her arms out to the man, allowing—

"What made you think you're a hero all of a sudden?" A new voice called. Hyejoo swung her head towards the sound.

"Haseul?!" The three girls asked simultaneously in an unbelieving voice.

While all three of them were in sheer, unadulterated panic, Haseul had calmly managed to walk up the stairs, steadily holding a cereal bar in hand. "I didn't even know there was a kitchen here," Haseul said through a mouthful of the snack. Everyone looked at her like she had two heads. "What? I got hungry!"

"Not the time," Chaewon groaned as she rolled her eyes. Suddenly, the man grabbed onto Hyejoo, but Haseul was quick to turn her breakfast bar into a makeshift weapon as she threw it at his head. He muttered a quiet 'ow' and looked over at Haseul with scrunched eyebrows.

"YOU LITERALLY HAVE A GUN AND YOU CHOOSE TO USE—" Yeojin began, staring at the gun in her back pocket. She didn't bother to continue when she watched her pull it out, aiming it so that it could shoot right through his head.

"Let her go, asshat," Haseul warned. He laughed at her. She cocked the gun to portray that she was far from joking. He let her go, easily enough, and raised his arms in faux surrender. "Bastard," she muttered as she shot him, watching the bullet go through his forehead, blood beginning to stream down his face. His eyes rolled back before he dropped like a structureless rag doll to the ground. Time paused in that moment, it felt.

The room fell into the nicest, most melodic silence after that, and the air felt a hundred times lighter, like a weight was lifted from everyone's shoulders. Their smiles brightened the room, looking at each other because they finally did it. Their work paid off, after all. And now, everyone can be safe, everyone can be happy. Yeojin's cheerful laugh cut nicely through the silence, and then it was the sound of her footsteps charging towards Haseul, leaping into her arms. Haseul spun her around, giggling with glee.

"Haseul! Haseul!" Yeojin yelled giddily. Her tears were now filled with joy, adrenaline running through her veins in the best way.

"Yeojin," Haseul spoke through her laugh. "God, you're so stupid! I missed you, brat!" Yeojin stuck her tongue out in response.

Hyejoo smiled in the background as she watched. She crossed her arms over her chest, knowing that everything had been finalized. It's over now, for good. She didn't have to worry anymore. It would all go back to normal now.

"Feels nice, huh?"

Well— normal, but maybe this time with a little more Chaewon.

"Yeah," Hyejoo replied to the girl now standing beside her. "Yeah." They stared into each other's eyes, feeding off of the feeling that radiated from one to the other. Chaewon slipped her hand into Hyejoo's and used her other to grab her face, boosting herself up onto her toes to place a small peck across Hyejoo's lips. They smiled at each other, a small giggle eliciting from the two of them, looking at each other with the same adoration and love they've always looked at each other with— except this time, they could identify it. They knew what it was.

"Does that mean we're girlfriends now?" Hyejoo asked with a small, cute tilt to her head, and Chaewon wanted to kiss every inch of her adorable face. Chaewon nodded, moving to kiss Hyejoo again, but Hyejoo stood as tall as she could so that Chaewon wouldn't reach her.

Chaewon hit her shoulder as she laughed, "I hate you."

Hyejoo felt euphoric once again, like everything has came into place. Like everything is right where it should be. She leaned down to steal a quick kiss from Chaewon. "I love you too."

\---

Some things weren't meant to change.

Things like Yeojin yelling at Hyejoo because she ate the food that was supposed to be hers. Things like riding her bike down the street and watching Yeojin scrape her knees. And maybe laugh at her. But always bringing bandages, of course— that would never change. But other times, change is perfectly beautiful. It helps things fall right back in place.

Like today. The first morning since Yeojin's came back home. Some things have changed in the best way possible.

"Careful of Hyejoo," Haseul warned Chaewon with a smile. "Don't let her influence you. You might end up failing school." Hyejoo wailed at that and Haseul rustled her hair. "I'm only playing." Haseul looked back at the two of them, and now, she really sees it. They're real life soulmates, they truly are. They're hands always encased in one another's, bodies seemingly attached by the hip. She knew now that they belonged in each other's arms.

The sun was shining brightly on this particular day, or maybe it was just because Hyejoo had felt infinitely happier now. Yeojin was still zooming around on her bike like the toddler she still is at heart, and Hyejoo hoped to god that that would never change. _Never lose your spark, kid_ , she told Yeojin in her mind. A car pulled into the driveway, and Haseul watched it slow to a stop behind her.

"Must be Kahei," she thought aloud. And, just as presumed, Kahei took only a second to pop out the door and deliver a kiss to Haseul's cheek, her perfume pleasant and feminine, enough to drive Haseul insane. She laughed and wrapped her arm around Kahei's. "I'll see you guys later, alright? And don't be causing any trouble, you rascal." Haseul looked at Hyejoo.

"That was a while ago!" Hyejoo defended.

Haseul chuckled. "I know." She waved to the girls and walked towards Kahei's car, opening up the passenger side door. Before she entered, she paused one last time, looking back at Hyejoo and Chaewon. "Oh, and don't go around letting Yeojin get kidnapped anymore, 'kay? Or we might have to go through this all over again," Haseul teased, and then, she disappeared into the car, shutting its door. Suddenly, the car had left, too, and now it was just Chaewon, Hyejoo, and the screaming child riding her bike around them. Hyejoo looked at Chaewon, smiling at her.

"What?" Chaewon asked. Hyejoo shook her head and just laughed. "What??" Chaewon repeated with a laugh.

"Nothing. You're just cute." Hyejoo tapped her finger against Chaewon's nose.

"Shut _up_ ," Chaewon groaned. "Hyejoo don't be dumb and cheesy challenge: failed."

"I can't h—"

"Oh my _goshhhh_ , you two make me want to literally GAG," Yeojin complained with a fake barfing action. The girlfriends laughed at her, watching her settle back on her bike seat. "Stop kissing and start biking or something."

"Alright," Hyejoo complied, grabbing her bicycle up and seating herself on it. When she looked over, Chaewon was doing the same thing. "Chaewon you barely know how to cook, how do you expect to ride a bike?"

"Oh my god, says _you_." Chaewon rolled her eyes. "You practically burnt _water_ with that pancake mix!"

" _No_."

" _Yeah_ ," Chaewon mocked in an annoying voice. "Everyone in the house could've died from smoke inhalation!"

"You act like you don't do the same thing," Hyejoo said with a pout.

"Burning food is my personality trait, it's different," Chaewon explained.

"Barely."

"Race you guys down the hill!" Yeojin shouted through their conversation. Hyejoo and Chaewon exchanged a quick glance.

"LAST ONE THERE CLEANS THE DISHES FOR A WEEK!" Hyejoo yelled back, accelerating forward, leaving Chaewon to eat her dust.

—Oh, and, Chaewon lost, by the way. Hey, what'd you expect? That Hyejoo would let her win just because she's her girlfriend? She's a lover, not a loser!

\---

Loving Chaewon was simple. A lot more simple than hating her, at least. It came naturally to Hyejoo. And every day at lunch, they'd share the table Hyejoo used to reserve specially for herself and herself only. (That was a big privilege, by the way. Not everyone can just sit with Hyejoo without getting yelled at).

But it's moments like these that Hyejoo loves the most. She's laying on the grass, and it doesn't really matter how scratchy it is because Chaewon's next to her and she's happier than ever. The stars shine above them, bright and beautiful, glistening like angels in the night sky. But nothing could compare to the real-life angel laying beside her. Moments like these reminded her of the days that felt so long ago now, but days that would be kept as lasting memories.

_The night sky was clearer than ever. Hyejoo's dad was talking to Chaewon's dad, chatting away about sports, probably, while the two kids sat on the green grass that was shaded in a temporary black from the darkness of the night. They looked up to the stars, watching them twinkle and shine. It was beautiful._

_Chaewon was braiding Hyejoo's hair, tongue sticking out between her lips and eyebrows scrunched in focus, trying to remember how Hyejoo taught her to do it. Cross the right one over, then the left, and keep repeating. She wanted it to be extravagant, like how she sees the princesses on television. Hyejoo would be a good princess._

_"No I wouldn't," Hyejoo denied with a giggle. Oh. Chaewon must have said it out loud._

_"Yeah. You're really pretty. Even my mommy thinks so. And my mommy doesn't even say I'm pretty," Chaewon explained._

_"Your mommy doesn't know what she's talking about," Hyejoo laughed._

_"Girls, look," Hyejoo's dad directed, his arm extended as he pointed up to the sky. "A shooting star! Make a wish!"_

_Hyejoo's head flitted up towards the sky, messing Chaewon up with her braiding, but Chaewon didn't notice, because she was looking up at it, too._

_Hyejoo watched the gorgeous trail of stardust slowly make its way through the sky like magic. She didn't even have to think twice before making her wish. She smiled as she spoke her wish in her heart, all she wanted was to marry Chaewon one day; so that's what she wished. She saw the star sparkle as it disappeared, as if winking to Hyejoo, saying that it's their little secret. Hyejoo smiled back at it._

_Maybe one day it would come true._

Not much has differed from that moment, except that now Chaewon accidentally fell asleep in Hyejoo's arms, despite lying on the uncomfortable grass. Her hand soothed its way through the strand of the sleeping girl's hair, continuing her stargazing.

Hyejoo watched a star trail it's way from one side of the sky to the other. Her wish had never changed. And she was more positive than ever that one day, it would all come true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg this is the last official chapter.. next will be a short epilogue.. i am Crying and i hope u are too


	7. epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little something to celebrate venomous ending (with an emphasis on little. this is only 900 words lol)

It's been one year, forty-three days and counting. That's how long Hyejoo and Chaewon have been together. Everyday was just like how it used to be, they figured. And it's exactly what they wanted it to be and more. Chaewon was Hyejoo's entire world, and the feeling was easily reciprocated.

"Chaewon plEASE—" Hyejoo said through a laugh, unable to breathe as she watched Chaewon fight Yeojin for the last controller.

"HYEJOO TELL HER TO GIVE IT TO YOUR LITTLE SISTER," Yeojin shouted (or maybe she didn't— her normal volume is shouting anyway) to Hyejoo.

"Keep in mind you have a beautiful, amazing girlfriend, too!" Chaewon exclaimed.

"They're so weird," Hyejoo muttered, shaking her head.

"It's summer vacation, what can I say?" Haseul answered, laughing.

"Technically not for you," Hyejoo replied. "You've graduated now. Get out of your student headspace."

Haseul laughed in agreement. "Forever vacation," she whispered dreamily, watching Hyejoo giggle at that. Or at the way Yeojin swiped the controller from Chaewon's hand and wore a victory face so bright that it shone.

"Yes!" Yeojin exclaimed giddily. "Hyejoo!! I call being Princess Peach!"

"Fine by me," Hyejoo said with a shrug. "Yoshi is the best character anyway."

That was what days were like a lot now. For the family to be back together again with the same fuckery as always, and for Chaewon to be back in Hyejoo's life, for Hyejoo to revolve around as if Chaewon was the sun to her solar system. Days were brighter now, as if a cloud had been covering Hyejoo's head since the day she'd stop talking to Chaewon. But the cloud has dissipated now. Now, she can feel the way her heart beats with love every time Chaewon smiles in that way that reaches her eyes, looking at Hyejoo like she's found the one. Hyejoo melts every time Chaewon mutters her shy "I love you"s, and her heart collapses when Chaewon hides behind her hands because she gets so embarrassed when Hyejoo says she loves her too.

Hyejoo basked in the way Chaewon would never have to ask to hold her hand. Chaewon knew she had hand-holding rights 24/7. Her tiny, cold hands would slip perfectly into Hyejoo's, warm and welcoming for her. And each time, they look up at each other with shy grins. Hyejoo still falls in love all over again when Chaewon kisses her lips. She still feels electricity in her veins when they cuddle for hours and hours. She still can't help but to smile up at Chaewon whenever she watches her reaction to something, waiting for her to smile back. And when she does, Hyejoo's heart still bursts with soft thuds.

Hyejoo was doomed from the start, she just couldn't see: she was always meant to be here, by Chaewon's side. Meant to fall for the girl with charming eyes and a crazily irresistible smile. This was home. And she wouldn't even wish for it to be any other way.

\---

The room is brightly lit and it has such an uplifting atmosphere. The day every high schooler dreams of has finally came along, and Hyejoo and Chaewon are no different when it comes to the celebration.

"FREEDOM!" they exclaim with wide smiles on their faces. They've grown a bit since day one of dating, and today marks five hundred exact, but they still feel exactly the same for each other. Chaewon loved Hyejoo like the earth loved the sun. The tales of two souls that had intertwined despite the circumstances and the world; those are the tales of hope and persistence. They just so luckily got a have a real-life reenactment of it.

Chaewon was the brightest star. Hyejoo could wish on her and it felt like anything could come true. Nothing felt impossible with that charming girl by her side. Chaewon was exactly what Hyejoo needed, and she didn't know how to let her go. Luckily for her, Chaewon didn't either.

Even in nights where dreams were shot with arrows set aflame, igniting them into bright yellow flames to turn to ash, Chaewon would still be there for her. It was amazing, really, how love can bloom so beautifully even when your garden was dead, with no hope of life again. But somehow, Chaewon did it. She always found a way. She healed Hyejoo's aching heart and cupped it with her open palms, assuring that for now, it's safe— forever, it's safe. Chaewon was Hyejoo's safety. She felt the most alive when watching her beam happily. She was an ephemeral goddess that walked the earth, somehow falling into Hyejoo's arms. Hyejoo couldn't stop being thankful for Chaewon and everything she's done.

The feeling was mutual, too. Chaewon loved Hyejoo with what she felt was the entirety of her heart, but she doesn't want to say that as a definitive because she falls in love more each day. Her eyes always feel attached to Hyejoo, the shining girl always by her side. She could feel the way her heart beats faster when Hyejoo squeezes her hand a little tighter, or when she laughs at herself. Hyejoo was the cutest thing, hidden behind a tough shell.

She's spent what feels like forever in a minute with Hyejoo, and she never wants it to stop. It's moments like this when she feels like more than anything else, she belongs. She was always the one in Hyejoo's eyes. After today, they'll have forever to themselves, though. And she couldn't wait for what that infinite forever held.


End file.
